(no subject)
Title: Idle Speculation
Fandom: Star Wars
Characters: Jaina Solo, Jagged Fel
Prompt: #82 -- If
Word Count: 375
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: Jaina and Jag wonder. Mention of character death. Two separate AUs. Unbeta’ed but proofread by me.
one. jaina
As time passes by and old age comes creeping towards me, I am prone more and more to nostalgia. I often wonder how my life would be different if I had only made one decision differently. How changed would the galaxy be if I had chosen differently?
I often play out the many and varied scenarios in my mind. No one knows that I do this; they would think it unhealthy. My children especially. They could never understand that that particular moment in time has caused me a lifetime of wonder and regret.
Would the war have ended sooner, instead of dragging on for fifteen long and terrible years? Would the attraction between us have turned into something more? Would he have died anyway, and me along with him?
The only answers I can give myself are idle speculation because I followed orders in the space around Borleias and left Jagged Fel to die alone.
two. jag
It is not often that I am given to idle speculation, but since my forced retirement, I find that there is really nothing else to do. I used to drown out the memory of her by immersing myself wholly in my work as Fleet Commander. It has been a long time since I have thought of her in any way but passing.
Now, though, I cannot seem to keep from remembering. It almost feels as if what happened was in a completely different lifetime, but I cannot help but wonder. Could I have done anything to change the way things went? Would I have only made things worse by trying to help? Why did things happen the way they did?
These questions run endlessly through my mind these days. And I know that nothing I can do will stop them, just as I know that there is no way to know the answers. It is useless speculation, but I cannot help myself. My regret drives me.
Was there anything I could have done to help Jaina Solo before the dark side utterly consumed her and turned her into someone I did not know or recognize? Could I have done anything to turn her back before it fell on her own brother’s shoulders to kill her?
Should I have even tried?
End
My Big Damn Table
Fandom: Star Wars
Characters: Jaina Solo, Jagged Fel
Prompt: #82 -- If
Word Count: 375
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: Jaina and Jag wonder. Mention of character death. Two separate AUs. Unbeta’ed but proofread by me.
one. jaina
As time passes by and old age comes creeping towards me, I am prone more and more to nostalgia. I often wonder how my life would be different if I had only made one decision differently. How changed would the galaxy be if I had chosen differently?
I often play out the many and varied scenarios in my mind. No one knows that I do this; they would think it unhealthy. My children especially. They could never understand that that particular moment in time has caused me a lifetime of wonder and regret.
Would the war have ended sooner, instead of dragging on for fifteen long and terrible years? Would the attraction between us have turned into something more? Would he have died anyway, and me along with him?
The only answers I can give myself are idle speculation because I followed orders in the space around Borleias and left Jagged Fel to die alone.
two. jag
It is not often that I am given to idle speculation, but since my forced retirement, I find that there is really nothing else to do. I used to drown out the memory of her by immersing myself wholly in my work as Fleet Commander. It has been a long time since I have thought of her in any way but passing.
Now, though, I cannot seem to keep from remembering. It almost feels as if what happened was in a completely different lifetime, but I cannot help but wonder. Could I have done anything to change the way things went? Would I have only made things worse by trying to help? Why did things happen the way they did?
These questions run endlessly through my mind these days. And I know that nothing I can do will stop them, just as I know that there is no way to know the answers. It is useless speculation, but I cannot help myself. My regret drives me.
Was there anything I could have done to help Jaina Solo before the dark side utterly consumed her and turned her into someone I did not know or recognize? Could I have done anything to turn her back before it fell on her own brother’s shoulders to kill her?
Should I have even tried?
End
My Big Damn Table