(no subject)
i had a very bad day tuesday be'cos it was everywhere i looked. in the news. in my diary. on a reality tv show. i could smell it in my nose. i could feel my pulse quicken and i could feel it on my lips. it's a different urge than cigarettes be'cos it's borne of my thoughts and not a manual habit. i know it will never go away and that bothers me but it's my fault and tomorrow it will have been three months since i touched it.