No, I dont wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now.
depression is a tricky thing to deal with. for no reason at all i just feel like the worst human ever. I have no self confidence and i think everyone hates me. There is no real reason for me thinking that, but i still do. My antidepressants aren't working, so i have no idea what i need to do anymore.
I've been trying to talk to justin about it, but he's right. I'm stressing out over dumb shit, and i need to learn to control my temperament. its hard when you feel like you're stuck on a boat thats slowly sinking and there is nothing and no one to help you. I've lost all motivation to leave my bed, let a lot want to go hang out with people.
I feel like shit all the time because i can't help being depressed, i've tried. and justin tries sooo hard to make me happy, and he gets frustrated with me because "i'm so hard on myself" whatever, you need to be hard in order to get shit done.
my job is kinda shitty but mostly because i work 10 p.m to 5 a.m and my manager is a huge dick head.
but i'll live.
i really havent talked to anyone but justin in over a month. its nice being able to hang out with someone and never get tired of them, but at the same time. I need friends. but i guess thats the price you pay when you get arrested. no one wants to talk to you anymore. once again, i'll live.
dear you,
I'm jealous of you. not for who you are, but because you have taken everything that i ever wanted and make it your idea. you are a horrible selfish person. Think of someone else, please.
i do have good things going on in my life. i got 6 months non reporting probation, i have a job and an apartment to live in next year. Me and justin are on great terms, and my family have been super cool with helping me and justin out over this arrest thing.
i guess i just need to get on more antidepressants.. better ones... i just hate taking the pills they make me not being able to think, they make me sleepy, they make me hate myself.
I've been trying to talk to justin about it, but he's right. I'm stressing out over dumb shit, and i need to learn to control my temperament. its hard when you feel like you're stuck on a boat thats slowly sinking and there is nothing and no one to help you. I've lost all motivation to leave my bed, let a lot want to go hang out with people.
I feel like shit all the time because i can't help being depressed, i've tried. and justin tries sooo hard to make me happy, and he gets frustrated with me because "i'm so hard on myself" whatever, you need to be hard in order to get shit done.
my job is kinda shitty but mostly because i work 10 p.m to 5 a.m and my manager is a huge dick head.
but i'll live.
i really havent talked to anyone but justin in over a month. its nice being able to hang out with someone and never get tired of them, but at the same time. I need friends. but i guess thats the price you pay when you get arrested. no one wants to talk to you anymore. once again, i'll live.
dear you,
I'm jealous of you. not for who you are, but because you have taken everything that i ever wanted and make it your idea. you are a horrible selfish person. Think of someone else, please.
i do have good things going on in my life. i got 6 months non reporting probation, i have a job and an apartment to live in next year. Me and justin are on great terms, and my family have been super cool with helping me and justin out over this arrest thing.
i guess i just need to get on more antidepressants.. better ones... i just hate taking the pills they make me not being able to think, they make me sleepy, they make me hate myself.