I wish someone had told me…
По-моему, я уже как-то писала, что регулярно читаю раздел Living with kids tour в этом блоге.
Каждую неделю там выставляется интервью с очередной хозяйкой дома - про его историю, интерьер, жителей, взгляд на семейную жизнь. И в конце каждого такого интервью задается один и тот же вопрос: "Please finish the sentence: I wish someone had told me…"
Наверное, кому-то это покажется сборником банальностей, но я для себя соберу некоторые из ответов на этот вопрос здесь.
Andrea Gorda:
This will sound completely silly, but I wish I had known newborns aren’t newborns for a year. I wish someone had told me that period only lasts six weeks max. I wish I had gotten that through my head the first time round and just sat down, cuddled, and pressed my cheek to the top of their fuzzy heads more. And I also wish that I had known it would be hard to stop having babies. They are intoxicating and addictive little things! I would have started so much sooner…
Felicitas Von Richthofen:
I am very thankful that nobody told me that when you become a mother you will never be without fear and sorrow anymore. You’ve just been given something that would be the most terrible to lose. You will not be free anymore. You will have to say goodbye every day, to let go every second.
This is sad and also wonderful, because in return you will receive unconditional love and moments where your heart overflows.
Kendra Damiecki:
…that comparison is the thief of joy. I remember hearing this and thinking how true this was for me - not just with my kids but with other parts of my life as well.
I spent a good part of those first two years with Layla comparing her milestones to my friends’ children. Instead of enjoying what she was doing, I worried about what she wasn’t doing. My attitude completely changed when Hadley was born, and I no longer allowed myself to have expectations on when she would start talking, walking, or potty training. I feel more comfortable and am much more confident now as a mother that I can just sit back and enjoy each little moment as they come.
Camilla Fabbri
…to enjoy my parents while they’re still young. I focused so much attention on my children, everything else just fell away. I suddenly turned around to notice my parents had grown older and weren’t the same people anymore.
Karin Katherine
I wish someone had told me that kids are resilient, and you cannot ruin them for life by making one parenting mistake.
Karey Mackin
…how heartbreaking it would be to have a family. It’s not even these years that are the heartbreaking ones. Everyone said the teenage years would be gut-wrenchers, but they’re not. They’re actually pretty wonderful
It’s the ones coming. I can feel it. I am going to have to let these girls go someday and hope they want to come back and see me sometime.
I mean, imagine it. Someone gives you the best gifts you could ever dream up. Three of them. And every day is like Christmas, with the waking up and seeing those same happy gifts every single day. Over and over and over again. Except if they’re at a sleepover. And then one day, it all turns into Casimir Pulaski Day. Which could be a very fine day, but I don’t think you get the same sort of presents. If any. I’m going to have to figure out how to celebrate it. And no matter how awesome a day it may be, I know I’ll always miss the never-ending Christmas.
Lynne Knowlton:
I wish someone had told me that life would go by so fast. It was only yesterday that the kids were crawling and now they are in University.
I would have played more games. I would have been goofier. I would have laid on the ground and looked at more stars with them. I would have taken more moments to just sit and BE with them in the moment. Those quiet moments are beautiful and I always want more.
So now I am grabbing those moments. Grabbing them with all my might and having a laugh with them. Those are the best times! Taking time to stop, pause, and breathe it in.
Julie Sparrow Carson:
…to go slow to go fast. Kids sure do rebel against a rush! Going slow solves most of my problems these days.
Julie Thomas:
I wish someone had told me to remember to be in the moment and to look forward to each new stage in my children’s lives.
I have had seasons of motherhood where I have really struggled with mourning the passing of babyhood, toddlerhood, and various childhood milestones. I think it is fueled by the realization that my children are growing up so quickly. It’s also that I love these days of togetherness and childhood “magic” so much. It’s hard to imagine any other time in life will be quite so wonderful (though let’s keep it real - there are some VERY hard days and nights mixed into these wonderful years!).
I woke up the other night hearing the patter of little feet and saw the sweet mop of bed-head coming around to my side of the bed. As I reached down a hand to help our four-year-old up, I thought how we are on the tail-end of these days. For so many years I have dreamed of a good night’s sleep and we’re almost there…I got so sad.
I think it’s natural for these realizations to hit us as moms. What I don’t think is inspiring is when I let myself park there for too long. I certainly don’t want to waste the time I have with my children now!
One way that I’ve found that seems to slow down the clock is to be emotionally present in the moment. Sounds easy, but is hard to do as a busy mom. When I choose not to let my mind multi-task and do something like play a short baseball game with my sons in the front yard, I can soak up their cheers, their stride as they run the bases, and all the details I would have missed had my mind been wandering. These are the moments that become memories.
So while it can be hard to watch my babies growing up, the truth is I love who my sons are becoming.
Каждую неделю там выставляется интервью с очередной хозяйкой дома - про его историю, интерьер, жителей, взгляд на семейную жизнь. И в конце каждого такого интервью задается один и тот же вопрос: "Please finish the sentence: I wish someone had told me…"
Наверное, кому-то это покажется сборником банальностей, но я для себя соберу некоторые из ответов на этот вопрос здесь.
Andrea Gorda:
This will sound completely silly, but I wish I had known newborns aren’t newborns for a year. I wish someone had told me that period only lasts six weeks max. I wish I had gotten that through my head the first time round and just sat down, cuddled, and pressed my cheek to the top of their fuzzy heads more. And I also wish that I had known it would be hard to stop having babies. They are intoxicating and addictive little things! I would have started so much sooner…
Felicitas Von Richthofen:
I am very thankful that nobody told me that when you become a mother you will never be without fear and sorrow anymore. You’ve just been given something that would be the most terrible to lose. You will not be free anymore. You will have to say goodbye every day, to let go every second.
This is sad and also wonderful, because in return you will receive unconditional love and moments where your heart overflows.
Kendra Damiecki:
…that comparison is the thief of joy. I remember hearing this and thinking how true this was for me - not just with my kids but with other parts of my life as well.
I spent a good part of those first two years with Layla comparing her milestones to my friends’ children. Instead of enjoying what she was doing, I worried about what she wasn’t doing. My attitude completely changed when Hadley was born, and I no longer allowed myself to have expectations on when she would start talking, walking, or potty training. I feel more comfortable and am much more confident now as a mother that I can just sit back and enjoy each little moment as they come.
Camilla Fabbri
…to enjoy my parents while they’re still young. I focused so much attention on my children, everything else just fell away. I suddenly turned around to notice my parents had grown older and weren’t the same people anymore.
Karin Katherine
I wish someone had told me that kids are resilient, and you cannot ruin them for life by making one parenting mistake.
Karey Mackin
…how heartbreaking it would be to have a family. It’s not even these years that are the heartbreaking ones. Everyone said the teenage years would be gut-wrenchers, but they’re not. They’re actually pretty wonderful
It’s the ones coming. I can feel it. I am going to have to let these girls go someday and hope they want to come back and see me sometime.
I mean, imagine it. Someone gives you the best gifts you could ever dream up. Three of them. And every day is like Christmas, with the waking up and seeing those same happy gifts every single day. Over and over and over again. Except if they’re at a sleepover. And then one day, it all turns into Casimir Pulaski Day. Which could be a very fine day, but I don’t think you get the same sort of presents. If any. I’m going to have to figure out how to celebrate it. And no matter how awesome a day it may be, I know I’ll always miss the never-ending Christmas.
Lynne Knowlton:
I wish someone had told me that life would go by so fast. It was only yesterday that the kids were crawling and now they are in University.
I would have played more games. I would have been goofier. I would have laid on the ground and looked at more stars with them. I would have taken more moments to just sit and BE with them in the moment. Those quiet moments are beautiful and I always want more.
So now I am grabbing those moments. Grabbing them with all my might and having a laugh with them. Those are the best times! Taking time to stop, pause, and breathe it in.
Julie Sparrow Carson:
…to go slow to go fast. Kids sure do rebel against a rush! Going slow solves most of my problems these days.
Julie Thomas:
I wish someone had told me to remember to be in the moment and to look forward to each new stage in my children’s lives.
I have had seasons of motherhood where I have really struggled with mourning the passing of babyhood, toddlerhood, and various childhood milestones. I think it is fueled by the realization that my children are growing up so quickly. It’s also that I love these days of togetherness and childhood “magic” so much. It’s hard to imagine any other time in life will be quite so wonderful (though let’s keep it real - there are some VERY hard days and nights mixed into these wonderful years!).
I woke up the other night hearing the patter of little feet and saw the sweet mop of bed-head coming around to my side of the bed. As I reached down a hand to help our four-year-old up, I thought how we are on the tail-end of these days. For so many years I have dreamed of a good night’s sleep and we’re almost there…I got so sad.
I think it’s natural for these realizations to hit us as moms. What I don’t think is inspiring is when I let myself park there for too long. I certainly don’t want to waste the time I have with my children now!
One way that I’ve found that seems to slow down the clock is to be emotionally present in the moment. Sounds easy, but is hard to do as a busy mom. When I choose not to let my mind multi-task and do something like play a short baseball game with my sons in the front yard, I can soak up their cheers, their stride as they run the bases, and all the details I would have missed had my mind been wandering. These are the moments that become memories.
So while it can be hard to watch my babies growing up, the truth is I love who my sons are becoming.