i guess the biggest negative in parenting is expecting one thing and getting another. i expected a cute little girly-girl like i was, always in dresses, playing with dolls...
and i got the anti-girl. oh, she's beautiful all right, but would just as soon tell you where to get off as give you a smile. what i AM incredibly proud about is being able to (along with my ex) raise her to be self-sufficient, strong, and not about to let any male treat her any less than she deserves.
my son has been easier in some ways because he's a LOT more transparent than she is, and he's mama's boy in the best sense of that word.
this week has been heartbreaking for chris and i as parents to our kids, because she has only just told us about the 3 miscarriages that she had over the length of the last relationship she had. and its terrible not only that it happened, but that neither one of us is there where she lives to comfort her.
positive experince is that i'm watching my children grow up unafraid and sure that they have a solid place in the universe. negative experience is the tears in my heart knowing that i am never going to feel that self-confidence myself.
one coping skill...its ok to leave your child crying in its crib when you cannot cope yourself. its ok to put your child in a safe place where you can still see them so you can calm down when it gets to be too much. its ok to say "i do not like your actions but i love you always." its ok that your child is not what you dreamed of, but you are on an adventure with them to see how they turn out.
love your kids. its ok to have a "lived-in" house that isnt spotless because you took the time to read books, or chase butterflies, or look at the stars on a summer night. those memories go further with a child than a floor so shiney you could eat off it.
i remember, Miss Satin Sheets. I remember my daughter Miss Peach Blossom, I remember my grandmother who was Miss Satin Sheets, and i remember being Miss Black Velvet, we had some uproarious good times at tea parties.
and i got the anti-girl. oh, she's beautiful all right, but would just as soon tell you where to get off as give you a smile. what i AM incredibly proud about is being able to (along with my ex) raise her to be self-sufficient, strong, and not about to let any male treat her any less than she deserves.
my son has been easier in some ways because he's a LOT more transparent than she is, and he's mama's boy in the best sense of that word.
this week has been heartbreaking for chris and i as parents to our kids, because she has only just told us about the 3 miscarriages that she had over the length of the last relationship she had. and its terrible not only that it happened, but that neither one of us is there where she lives to comfort her.
positive experince is that i'm watching my children grow up unafraid and sure that they have a solid place in the universe. negative experience is the tears in my heart knowing that i am never going to feel that self-confidence myself.
one coping skill...its ok to leave your child crying in its crib when you cannot cope yourself. its ok to put your child in a safe place where you can still see them so you can calm down when it gets to be too much. its ok to say "i do not like your actions but i love you always." its ok that your child is not what you dreamed of, but you are on an adventure with them to see how they turn out.
love your kids. its ok to have a "lived-in" house that isnt spotless because you took the time to read books, or chase butterflies, or look at the stars on a summer night. those memories go further with a child than a floor so shiney you could eat off it.
i remember, Miss Satin Sheets. I remember my daughter Miss Peach Blossom, I remember my grandmother who was Miss Satin Sheets, and i remember being Miss Black Velvet, we had some uproarious good times at tea parties.
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