not sure what to do.

[ellikatfan07]

I am taking karate, and tonight was the first night of fall semester. Most of the people were new. There is this one guy in my class who seriously reminds me SO much of shane a guy that sexually assualted and harrassed me for three years. He doesn't look like him but he has the same cold and mean look and mannerisms as him. He kept giving me the

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[sistahraven]

I had a similar experience when I was studying Aikido. I opted to stay in the class - since my sensei knew my apprehensions about working with this guy, I didn't have to work with him often. And the few times I did work with him, it gave me an opportunity to try to concentrate on my forms while I was distracted and/or nervous. I tried to look at it as practice for if I had to defend myself outside the dojo - to help me practice trying to get things done while my brain wasn't entirely focused.

Ultimately, it turned out that the scowling scary guy in my class was actually an okay guy... for whatever reason he just scowled all the time to intimidate people. But having a whole class full of people keeping an eye on him (and sensei keeping an eye on him) while we worked together also helped me to know that he couldn't do anything to me during class.

And when working with him, I learned his weak spots (he had a bad knee), so if he ever *did* try anything outside of class, I knew exactly where to strike.

So maybe try giving it a couple weeks and see if you feel more comfortable with him around - it's entirely possible he might drop the class if he's that much of a loner and scowler.

[ellikatfan07]

oh, I love your icon!:)

"I tried to look at it as practice for if I had to defend myself outside the dojo - to help me practice trying to get things done while my brain wasn't entirely focused."

that is a really good idea and I never thought of the situation like that. I'm thinking i'll continue until at least i get to know his personality more by watching him in class-- and if I am still triggered then I know what to do.

See nobody else in my class knows how I feel about him or anything and they don't have an idea that i was sexually assualted, well that I know of. So I would feel so stupid if I did freak out or get even more triggered.

I'll see how it goes, I am just going to focus on my things I need to do in class and try not to pay attention to what he may be doing. Luckily I'll be in a different group than him (acrossed the room) for the most part.

thank you so much for the advice!!

[sistahraven]

Another thing to remember when you're in class is that one out of every three to four women and one out of every six men have been sexually assaulted in their lifetime - so there's probably another survivor in the class with you. If you do get triggered, it's likely that there will be someone in the class with you who will understand :)