(no subject)
i know i only update whenever somethign goes horribly wrong in my life. but, really, thats the only time i feel like i need to vent through my journal. so, i promise guys, my life isn't as bad as this journal makes it seem.
and of course, as you may have already guessed, today was a horrific day. me and kevin were both at fault in this fight although he refuses to admit it. of course, being the female, it's all my fault. isn't that the way every guy see's it? long story short, he was acting like brandon today. and brandon makes my life miserable. kevin seriously wasn't respecting my views where animals are concerned. it doesnt matter if he gets it or not, he should still respect it. and up until today he was doing a great job with it. he went hunting with brandon today and came back acting like him. huge fight turned into him spraying me with a water hose which turned into me smacking him which turned into a horrible day. i ended up with a headache, covered in mud trying to make him happy which he totally didn't appreciate (i let that one slide), and he says he's not mad at me anymore but i don't believe him. sigh*
boys...theyre so damn hard to put up with sometimes. did i mention that i hate brandon?
i've realized after today that if me and kevin ever don't make it, it will be because of brandon. i'm determined not to let brandon ruin it but i'm not so sure kevin puts me above brandon like i thought he did. it's something that can't be discussed because any time anything about brandon is brought up, it's *sumer, don't you think you're being a little ridiculous?* i just wish kevin could see. i'm sure one day brandon will fuck up bad enough for kevin to realize it. until then i guess whenever they start talking about stuff kevin knows i hate, i'll just walk out of the room and if kevin asks where i'm going ill just say *you were, once again, disrespecting the way i feel, so i figured i'd let you talk about it in private. come and get me when you're finished* and if kevin starts acting like brandon again, i'll just leave the room or ask him to take me home. days when he acts like that, always end up like this. and i just can't take it. what makes me supermad is that he wont even admit that he's wrong. i can't admit it. why can't he? i mean, really, i wanted to go to the breaks today to pet the deer. he wanted to go fishing in knee deep mud. we went fishing. i wanted to ride bikes, he said we didn't have time. i wanted to cuddle, he picked on me the whole time. he just kills me sometimes.
but i love him. which is why i'm willing to work so damn hard at this. despite all the headaches, emotional breakdowns, and tears i shed when he doesn't know about it....i still love him. and 99% of the time, we get along great. and i suppose in any relationship, 99% is pretty damn good.
and of course, as you may have already guessed, today was a horrific day. me and kevin were both at fault in this fight although he refuses to admit it. of course, being the female, it's all my fault. isn't that the way every guy see's it? long story short, he was acting like brandon today. and brandon makes my life miserable. kevin seriously wasn't respecting my views where animals are concerned. it doesnt matter if he gets it or not, he should still respect it. and up until today he was doing a great job with it. he went hunting with brandon today and came back acting like him. huge fight turned into him spraying me with a water hose which turned into me smacking him which turned into a horrible day. i ended up with a headache, covered in mud trying to make him happy which he totally didn't appreciate (i let that one slide), and he says he's not mad at me anymore but i don't believe him. sigh*
boys...theyre so damn hard to put up with sometimes. did i mention that i hate brandon?
i've realized after today that if me and kevin ever don't make it, it will be because of brandon. i'm determined not to let brandon ruin it but i'm not so sure kevin puts me above brandon like i thought he did. it's something that can't be discussed because any time anything about brandon is brought up, it's *sumer, don't you think you're being a little ridiculous?* i just wish kevin could see. i'm sure one day brandon will fuck up bad enough for kevin to realize it. until then i guess whenever they start talking about stuff kevin knows i hate, i'll just walk out of the room and if kevin asks where i'm going ill just say *you were, once again, disrespecting the way i feel, so i figured i'd let you talk about it in private. come and get me when you're finished* and if kevin starts acting like brandon again, i'll just leave the room or ask him to take me home. days when he acts like that, always end up like this. and i just can't take it. what makes me supermad is that he wont even admit that he's wrong. i can't admit it. why can't he? i mean, really, i wanted to go to the breaks today to pet the deer. he wanted to go fishing in knee deep mud. we went fishing. i wanted to ride bikes, he said we didn't have time. i wanted to cuddle, he picked on me the whole time. he just kills me sometimes.
but i love him. which is why i'm willing to work so damn hard at this. despite all the headaches, emotional breakdowns, and tears i shed when he doesn't know about it....i still love him. and 99% of the time, we get along great. and i suppose in any relationship, 99% is pretty damn good.