(no subject)
it's 6:36 am, and i cannot for the life of me get some shut eye.
Last night, my aunt called and of course, i dreaded what was about to follow. I knew it was comming but i wasn't going to believe the worst until i found out what was going on. A couple of hours later, my mom confirmed that my grandfather had passed away that very morning. I just couldn't believe it, it feels like i'm in a nightmare and that i should be waking up any minute. This is the first time anyone in my close family has gotten sick and passed away. I've been so lucky to not have to deal with the pain up until now. I couldn't even begin to describe to you what i'm feeling at this very moment.
About two months ago, I first found out of my abuelo being sick. He had been sick prior to me finding out about it, but my aunt couldn't tell my dad cause she knew it would kill him inside. Once she did though, my dad completely changed. There was something different about him, and you could tell. He had some sort of fluid in his brain that caused him to act like a child and feel an immense amount of pain. It got to the point where my dad had to pay for a 24-hour private nurse to be with him at all times. Nothing was wrong with his organs, it was his brain sending mixed messages to his body. Eventually he started becomming worse and worse and was admitted to the hospital because of his pains. The doctors performed a surgery to get rid of the fluid in his brain, which was a success. Things started to look better, he was responding well. Later on, they had to cut open a hole in his throat so he could breathe without the tube so no infections could arise. The doctors told my aunt that they didn't know how long it would last; it could have been between a week and months. MY dad knew he had to go to uruguay to visit him, but he didn't know when. He kept delaying it because it seemed he was getting better, until yesterday morning. His whole entire body shut down and he passed away with my aunt at his side.
There are so many things that i wish happened before he left us. My family and blake were going to uruguay on a trip to visit in less than six weeks. To note, I haven't seen either of my grandparents, aunt, and cousins in two years. Being a million miles away makes you feel so helpless, and it's something most people cannot even begin to imagine. I wanted to be there with my family to show them my support and love, and to see my abuelo for the last time. I wanted him to know i was there at his side with the rest of my family in person. He knows I was at his side, not physically but in spirit. I wanted to tell him what was going on in my life, that I met the man of my dreams, that i accomplished my goal of losing weight, and that I was so much happier now than two years ago. He would have been so proud, and he would have told me some sort of joke to lighten the mood like he always does. The world could be ending and he would have made a joke that would have had everybody laughing, and not realize that the world was ending. I know now that he knows these things in spirit, and i will always pray for him. I just can't imagine that he's no longer here, that I can't hug him or see him smile or talk about the uruguay soccer team with my dad. When i get to his apartment, he won't be around the corner or in his room. He's going to be above me, in a better place and completely at peace. He was the strongest person i had ever met in my whole life. He went through three bypass surgeries on his heart, and was extremely healthy. Nothing ever brought him down, nothing. I know i have to be strong, for my dad and for everyone, but it's just so hard. I find myself staring off and thinking about everything that happened and just crying. My abuelo has gotten his wings now, and he's watching over all of us.
My dad is leaving today to be with his papi just like he told me. I couldn't even form words to tell him that everything was going to be alright, i just cried like a baby. He needs to be there and i understand, but i wish things didn't have to be this way. I love my dad and i love my abuelo more than anything. But more than anything, I know that things will be okay soon because i know have a guardian angel to watch over all of us.
r.i.p. abuelo hugo. te quiero con todo mi corazon, mucho mas que tu sabias. siempre vas estar con migo, siempre mirando todo, y siempre vas a ser mi angel. i love you abuelo. <3
Last night, my aunt called and of course, i dreaded what was about to follow. I knew it was comming but i wasn't going to believe the worst until i found out what was going on. A couple of hours later, my mom confirmed that my grandfather had passed away that very morning. I just couldn't believe it, it feels like i'm in a nightmare and that i should be waking up any minute. This is the first time anyone in my close family has gotten sick and passed away. I've been so lucky to not have to deal with the pain up until now. I couldn't even begin to describe to you what i'm feeling at this very moment.
About two months ago, I first found out of my abuelo being sick. He had been sick prior to me finding out about it, but my aunt couldn't tell my dad cause she knew it would kill him inside. Once she did though, my dad completely changed. There was something different about him, and you could tell. He had some sort of fluid in his brain that caused him to act like a child and feel an immense amount of pain. It got to the point where my dad had to pay for a 24-hour private nurse to be with him at all times. Nothing was wrong with his organs, it was his brain sending mixed messages to his body. Eventually he started becomming worse and worse and was admitted to the hospital because of his pains. The doctors performed a surgery to get rid of the fluid in his brain, which was a success. Things started to look better, he was responding well. Later on, they had to cut open a hole in his throat so he could breathe without the tube so no infections could arise. The doctors told my aunt that they didn't know how long it would last; it could have been between a week and months. MY dad knew he had to go to uruguay to visit him, but he didn't know when. He kept delaying it because it seemed he was getting better, until yesterday morning. His whole entire body shut down and he passed away with my aunt at his side.
There are so many things that i wish happened before he left us. My family and blake were going to uruguay on a trip to visit in less than six weeks. To note, I haven't seen either of my grandparents, aunt, and cousins in two years. Being a million miles away makes you feel so helpless, and it's something most people cannot even begin to imagine. I wanted to be there with my family to show them my support and love, and to see my abuelo for the last time. I wanted him to know i was there at his side with the rest of my family in person. He knows I was at his side, not physically but in spirit. I wanted to tell him what was going on in my life, that I met the man of my dreams, that i accomplished my goal of losing weight, and that I was so much happier now than two years ago. He would have been so proud, and he would have told me some sort of joke to lighten the mood like he always does. The world could be ending and he would have made a joke that would have had everybody laughing, and not realize that the world was ending. I know now that he knows these things in spirit, and i will always pray for him. I just can't imagine that he's no longer here, that I can't hug him or see him smile or talk about the uruguay soccer team with my dad. When i get to his apartment, he won't be around the corner or in his room. He's going to be above me, in a better place and completely at peace. He was the strongest person i had ever met in my whole life. He went through three bypass surgeries on his heart, and was extremely healthy. Nothing ever brought him down, nothing. I know i have to be strong, for my dad and for everyone, but it's just so hard. I find myself staring off and thinking about everything that happened and just crying. My abuelo has gotten his wings now, and he's watching over all of us.
My dad is leaving today to be with his papi just like he told me. I couldn't even form words to tell him that everything was going to be alright, i just cried like a baby. He needs to be there and i understand, but i wish things didn't have to be this way. I love my dad and i love my abuelo more than anything. But more than anything, I know that things will be okay soon because i know have a guardian angel to watch over all of us.
r.i.p. abuelo hugo. te quiero con todo mi corazon, mucho mas que tu sabias. siempre vas estar con migo, siempre mirando todo, y siempre vas a ser mi angel. i love you abuelo. <3