a smile from a veil
so today is taking me back to years past. ever have a day/days like that? where all your senses are just bombarded by the past and all your old feelings... it's quite a strange sensation, and although i get little snippets of that feeling often, today is an all-out attack. the rain dripping off the roses outside my window, the empty sense of excitement or anticipation of something in the future (but that's countered by the darker feeling that that excitement is really far away), the loneliness and pessimism, the reenactment of all my romantic memories and notions, the promise of a meeting, the avoidance of a phone call...
all i feel like doing is eating the food that i only half want, watching a movie i've seen too many times, listening to the songs that remind of me of all the "hims" and all days and nights that have escaped me. i want to be a little kid again, i want to go to college, i want to have a handle on things, i want to jump back into a good relationship again, i want to be content on my own, i want to not care enough to do nothing with my friends all the time, i want....
all i feel like doing is eating the food that i only half want, watching a movie i've seen too many times, listening to the songs that remind of me of all the "hims" and all days and nights that have escaped me. i want to be a little kid again, i want to go to college, i want to have a handle on things, i want to jump back into a good relationship again, i want to be content on my own, i want to not care enough to do nothing with my friends all the time, i want....