(no subject)
Okay, so who was it that said things would get easier? Wes? Stephen?
Because oh my God, have they not! Things were going great! I was... I was dealing! Freaking, sure, but dealing nonetheless, because what option did I have? I was getting told things left, right and center - things about my life.
"You have a boyfriend from another dimension, Cordelia. You're half-demon, Cordelia. You get debilitating visions and work for a vampire, Cordelia."
And not once, during those whole talks, did Wesley say to me, "You're going to get kissed by your best friends son, Cordelia."
I mean, seriously, what in the name of hell is going on?! It's not like I blame Stephen. It wasn't like he went out of his way to plant a big ol' smackaroony right on my lips. It was a total spur of the moment thing and-- To my knowledge? The kiss wasn't even bad, it was just... It was Stephen. And even if I don't remember it? Six month ago, I was changing his diaper.
Six month ago, I was doing baby things with him. And the other night? He kissed me. And successfully spun what little I actually understood about this world into outer space.
"Was I not supposed to?" ... "You're beautiful." ... "You are not my mother."
And I know all that, really I do! It's just... Goddamnit, it's so confusing. I remember nothing. I look at him and I don't get this whole flood of maternal instincts. I don't look at Wesley and remember why it is he makes me feel kinda safe. And I don't look at pictures of me and Angel and thing that we're destined or betrothed or any of that other kind of crap.
It's so damned confusing and for all Wesley is great with the books and all? He's got nothing. No reason why I'm suddenly sans memory. And he keeps saying that I have to go see Angel but... I guess there's only so long I can put it off. Damnit.
Because oh my God, have they not! Things were going great! I was... I was dealing! Freaking, sure, but dealing nonetheless, because what option did I have? I was getting told things left, right and center - things about my life.
"You have a boyfriend from another dimension, Cordelia. You're half-demon, Cordelia. You get debilitating visions and work for a vampire, Cordelia."
And not once, during those whole talks, did Wesley say to me, "You're going to get kissed by your best friends son, Cordelia."
I mean, seriously, what in the name of hell is going on?! It's not like I blame Stephen. It wasn't like he went out of his way to plant a big ol' smackaroony right on my lips. It was a total spur of the moment thing and-- To my knowledge? The kiss wasn't even bad, it was just... It was Stephen. And even if I don't remember it? Six month ago, I was changing his diaper.
Six month ago, I was doing baby things with him. And the other night? He kissed me. And successfully spun what little I actually understood about this world into outer space.
"Was I not supposed to?" ... "You're beautiful." ... "You are not my mother."
And I know all that, really I do! It's just... Goddamnit, it's so confusing. I remember nothing. I look at him and I don't get this whole flood of maternal instincts. I don't look at Wesley and remember why it is he makes me feel kinda safe. And I don't look at pictures of me and Angel and thing that we're destined or betrothed or any of that other kind of crap.
It's so damned confusing and for all Wesley is great with the books and all? He's got nothing. No reason why I'm suddenly sans memory. And he keeps saying that I have to go see Angel but... I guess there's only so long I can put it off. Damnit.