(Untitled)

[__visiongal]

Your name is Cordelia Chase. You grew up in Sunnydale, California. You Graduated - though the ceremony was somewhat tumultuous - in 1999. Your head teacher was eaten by a giant snake. You've worked at Angel Investigations for three years.Yuh-huh

Comments

[__visiongal]

Uhm, okay.

To say I'm having trouble taking all this in? Understatement of the century. Vampire Slayer, multi-dimensional boyfriend, working for a vampire... Sons being stolen and Prophecies from, like, on high or whatever.

And me coming back to help with something I couldn't even control, from what it sounds.

"So that's it. That's the whole all. You took Angel's son, he's pissed, you're like Mr. Outcast and I'm-- Without memory." That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just read between the lines. "You said I came to confront you. Did you... Did you explain what happened? Did I... I dunno, did I accept it?"

Would I accept something like that? He stole someone's son - what happened after that wasn't his fault, unless he's lying to me which I don't think he is. I get the feeling I have this bullshit-o-meter lying somewhere and somehow? I don't think Wesley's come close to broaching that.

"Sorry, I know I keep asking questions... It's just I... Well, I'm trying to figure out who I am, I guess. Stephen doesn't know all that much about me and you were sorta the obvious choice as far as he was concerned." It wasn't like he was going to take me to his "evil" vampire father, was it?

[wesley_w_pryce_]

"You said I came to confront you. Did you... Did you explain what happened? Did I... I dunno, did I accept it?"

I wince a little, that wasn't a fun conversation.

"I did tell you, you did seem to accept it, you were going to help me talk to Angel about it when he seemed less likely to kill me for what I had done."

I'm glad that Stephen brought her here, glad that I have forged some sort of relationship with the boy even if it is likely to make trouble later on.

"It is fine for you too ask questions, I am trying to be forthcoming...it's just some things are still very new and raw to me still. I honestly had just thought of a lot of the things you were asking the last time we talked so it's been hard to give you a solid answer."

I want to help her, not just for Angel and everyone else's sake but because she's the one person from my former life who still believed in me.

"Perhaps there's a spell that will restore your memory to you."

[__visiongal]

I feel bad now. When he says that half the stuff I'm asking him is still raw, I suddenly don't want to be asking him it. I don't want to be the one who dredges this all back up again for him.

"Memory spell? You could do that?" Unconsciously, my fingers fly up to my neck. I want to know everything, really I do, but-- But what if what happened to me was so horrible that I chose to block it out?

What if... What if I know something, something far worse than baby kidnappers and vampire slayers and all the rest of it?

And what if-- Wait a minute. Could I honestly go through the rest of my life not knowing because I was afraid? That doesn't sound like me.

"Okay," I nod, taking a deep breath, "Magic me up right nice. Or something that doesn't sound so lame."

[wesley_w_pryce_]

I can see things on her face, just as she thinks it then says it her face shows it. She feels bad at what I say then there is fear for the idea of the spell then resolve. I didn't expect her to hold fear for long, she is to bold to let the unknown hold her back.

"I will have to look through a few books, memory spells are tricky things I wouldn't want to make things worse with my meddling."

[__visiongal]

"What could possibly be worse than this?" I ask him, looking up, "Could you... Make my brain fall out the back of my head? Turn it into, I dunno, a stone? What?"

And oh my God, if I'm reading the look on his face right, I-- "Okay, you have done this whole memory spell thing before, right? I mean, you're like... Well versed in the art of magic and spells and haven't just been assuming your pretend-position at Hogwarts way too long?"

Why is it that I have all of these ridiculous pop culture references in my head and no memory? Do I remember seeing Harry Potter? No. Do I know who he is and that they're making the second (or is that third?) movie as we speak? Yes. My brain, ladies and gentleman, a wonderful instrument.

[wesley_w_pryce_]

"Make your brain fall out the back of your head? No..."

I shake my head and ignore the pop culture speak to get to the heart of the matter.

"Yes, I have done spells, yes I do know what I am doing that is why I will only do a spell if I am sure it won't do any further damage to what remains of your memory...which apparently is the hollywood movie quotes and sarcasm."

I smile somewhat lopsided at her. "It all comes down to trust, I know you can't conciously recall, but what does your instinct tell you?"

[__visiongal]

"That you're my friend." I say quietly, no sarcasm or lame-ass pop-culture references needed. "That I can trust you, no matter what."

I don't remember anything at all about my past. I don't remember a childhood or my parents. I don't remember my first kiss or what it was like growing up in Sunnydale when every other week was a Monster Snack Rally.

My first memory is waking up beaten and bruised in an alleyway with a bandage on my neck and some weird guy trying to chase me down.

"I guess that means we're doing this, then."

[wesley_w_pryce_]

She trusts me. I can feel so many tense and angry things inside relax and unclench at that quiet voice as it says she can trust me no matter what and I smile a real smile this time.

"Then I shall start looking through the books and we will see what we can do."

[__visiongal]

"And I'll... What, sit here and look pretty?" I grin, "C'mon, I'll help you with the looking through the books. Four eyes are faster than two, I'm guessing."

Not that I know what the hell I'm looking for or anything but... I can help!

[wesley_w_pryce_]

:Well yes you can help, anything that says 'memory spell or memory alteration' should be sufficient to look into."

I start pulling out books and placing them on the table.

"We have researched a lot in the past, this shall be like old times to a certain degree." I throw her an amused glance. "Especially since your ability at sarcastic comments is still at full strength."

[__visiongal]

"I'm not sarcastic!" I protest, helping him carry a couple of stacks of books over to the table, "I'm just... Considerably challenged at answering a question in the normal, polite way."

I nod, smiling smugly, "There's a difference, Wes."

He hands me another stack of books and as he does so, the back of our hands touch. It's only brief but... There's a spark of... Something. Recognition? I don't know but it's enough to make me stop in my tracks.

Maybe I'm just getting that feeling of deja-vu or something, or-- "You think maybe someone did this to me?" I ask, determined to force some of the normalcy back to our conversation. "Or do you think it's more... Post-traumatic stress crap? Not that I feel traumatised or anything..." I add, as if that needs clarifying.