it feels better without control.
tonight was a show at fyi. it was really fun. i would have had more fun if more people i knew were there. but i hung out with rebecca and her friends and theyre great. opie rewrote sugar we're going down by fall out boy and wrote it about tacos. it was so fucking hilarious.
then this other band didnt even have instruments or anything they just had a radio lol. and played queen and techno songs. i had nobody to dance with. i wanted tyler to go so i could hang out with her and her friend brody. anddd i was sad because i wanted to dance with them to techno.
then suckadeek went crazy and fucked everything up. broke amps and mic stands and stuff. so the show ended early. then there were two fights, but me and brian were too busy cleaning blood off of his keyboard to see them. his finger was bleeding or something so it got the keyboard all bloody heh. he's a real cute kid. i just wanna squeeze him.
i think i am too straight to have a girlfriend. even though i'm attracted to girls sometimes... i don't think i could do anything with one. idkkk. tyler's best friend told me that she has a huge crush on me. i've had some kind of weird crush thing on her since the beginning of the year. it's not like anything will happen though because i am not going to tell her i like her and neither is brody..and i can't let her know that he told me.
we're going to have a movie party and watch awesome movies. with great food. and techno so i don't have to dance alone.
"Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I feel so vulnerable. I think about the times when I was younger and my mom would lie in bed with me -- asleep with me at night. I remember how I'd snuggle up to Mommy, wrapping my arms around her in the dark. I'd try to stay awake all night in case a monster came in through the door or window, so I could wake her up and save her. My mother hasn't slept with me for a long time now. But sometimes I wish she would.
I haven't been the perfect daughter. Sometimes I lie awake at night and think about how much better I could be, punishing myself for rejecting my mother when she reaches out to me. Sometimes I pray to God to forgive me. And I promise I'll be a perfect daughter. I'll never yell at her again. I'll never call her a bitch. When she asks me to do something for her, I'll do it, gladly. Tomorrow I'll clean my room. I'll do all my homework.
I cry a lot at night. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep thinking about all the terrible things I've done. And no one knows I'm crying.
I wonder if my mother ever cries.
I fall asleep, a deep slumber, and dream brilliant colored dreams that seem to go on forever..."
then this other band didnt even have instruments or anything they just had a radio lol. and played queen and techno songs. i had nobody to dance with. i wanted tyler to go so i could hang out with her and her friend brody. anddd i was sad because i wanted to dance with them to techno.
then suckadeek went crazy and fucked everything up. broke amps and mic stands and stuff. so the show ended early. then there were two fights, but me and brian were too busy cleaning blood off of his keyboard to see them. his finger was bleeding or something so it got the keyboard all bloody heh. he's a real cute kid. i just wanna squeeze him.
i think i am too straight to have a girlfriend. even though i'm attracted to girls sometimes... i don't think i could do anything with one. idkkk. tyler's best friend told me that she has a huge crush on me. i've had some kind of weird crush thing on her since the beginning of the year. it's not like anything will happen though because i am not going to tell her i like her and neither is brody..and i can't let her know that he told me.
we're going to have a movie party and watch awesome movies. with great food. and techno so i don't have to dance alone.
"Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I feel so vulnerable. I think about the times when I was younger and my mom would lie in bed with me -- asleep with me at night. I remember how I'd snuggle up to Mommy, wrapping my arms around her in the dark. I'd try to stay awake all night in case a monster came in through the door or window, so I could wake her up and save her. My mother hasn't slept with me for a long time now. But sometimes I wish she would.
I haven't been the perfect daughter. Sometimes I lie awake at night and think about how much better I could be, punishing myself for rejecting my mother when she reaches out to me. Sometimes I pray to God to forgive me. And I promise I'll be a perfect daughter. I'll never yell at her again. I'll never call her a bitch. When she asks me to do something for her, I'll do it, gladly. Tomorrow I'll clean my room. I'll do all my homework.
I cry a lot at night. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep thinking about all the terrible things I've done. And no one knows I'm crying.
I wonder if my mother ever cries.
I fall asleep, a deep slumber, and dream brilliant colored dreams that seem to go on forever..."