Thinking...
It’s quite early in the morning but I can’t sleep so I’ve decided to write my thoughts. I’m typing kind of slow right now because I’m pretty drunk, it’s kind of sad that 4 Smirnoffs get me wasted but I’ve come to accept that I am a total lightweight and always will be, as anyone who has drank with me can attest to. I came home quite pissed because my mom called and interrupted hanging out with Mike and Kenny and made me come home at midnight, so I sat in my room and got drunk because knowing that I was doing something illegal down the hall from her made me feel like I was getting back at her, as stupid as that is. High school is over for me now and she is making it very difficult for me to do what I want to do, fucking 12am curfew. WTF. I’ve had this goddamn curfew for like 2 years and this is really starting to piss me off. I turned 17, same time. Finish high school, same!
I told her when I came in tonight that she should change it because I’ll be 18 in 3 months and she told me too bad. Fucking bitch. I’ve decided, though it may be stupid to make any decisions after drinking, that I’m going to stand up to her and tell her to fuck off with her stupid ridiculous rules. I thought about it, and what do I have to lose?? Really the only thing is my phone, which she can’t even take because it’s in John’s name and he paid for it. So all that’s left is to ground me or kick me out. If she grounds me, I’ll just leave anyway, but getting kicked out, that’d be kinda rough. I dunno, I’m sure I could find somewhere to go, right??
Sometimes I wonder why I even have a live journal. I leave so much stuff out because the people who read this don’t really know me, who I truly am. So, I sugarcoat stuff so as not to alter people’s idea of who Stacey is. God forbid the people I know be friends with someone who isn’t exactly like them. Oh no, that might make life more interesting, what has this world come to?? Well, no more. This is me…
I’ve cheated on every guy I’ve ever gone out with. I may be bisexual, depending on your definition of the word. I’ve had sex with four guys, and 3 of them meant basically nothing to me, as horrible as that is. I’ve done drugs, and not the wimpy ones, stuff way worse that weed or pills. I’ve tried to kill myself (numerous times though not recently so spare me the lecture, I don’t think like that anymore). I’ve been drunk/hungover at school. On St Patrick’s Day I got drunk and naked in front of someone I had just met that night. But not all things people don’t know are bad, there’s other stuff too. I genuinely care about my friends and my family even though I tend to be a bitch much of the time. I may dismiss people that annoy me, but the ones I do bother with I greatly care about, so if you’re one of those people, know that you mean something to me. I cry really easily and most of the time it’s because I miss my dad, even if it seems to be about something else. My favorite place in the world is Sanibel Island and there isn’t any time of any day when I wouldn’t rather be there than where I am. I am very much in love with Mike McNally and I am grateful every day to have him in my life. He’s the only person who knows all of the things I wrote above and much more, and loves me for who I am.
I promise to be honest from here on. If anyone reads anything they can’t handle and their opinion of me changes, I’m sorry. I know that most everyone else acts like someone they’re not just like I do, and this makes me sad. It’s better to be hated for who you are than loved for something you’re not! I’m drunk, I need to sleep. G’night
Stacey
I told her when I came in tonight that she should change it because I’ll be 18 in 3 months and she told me too bad. Fucking bitch. I’ve decided, though it may be stupid to make any decisions after drinking, that I’m going to stand up to her and tell her to fuck off with her stupid ridiculous rules. I thought about it, and what do I have to lose?? Really the only thing is my phone, which she can’t even take because it’s in John’s name and he paid for it. So all that’s left is to ground me or kick me out. If she grounds me, I’ll just leave anyway, but getting kicked out, that’d be kinda rough. I dunno, I’m sure I could find somewhere to go, right??
Sometimes I wonder why I even have a live journal. I leave so much stuff out because the people who read this don’t really know me, who I truly am. So, I sugarcoat stuff so as not to alter people’s idea of who Stacey is. God forbid the people I know be friends with someone who isn’t exactly like them. Oh no, that might make life more interesting, what has this world come to?? Well, no more. This is me…
I’ve cheated on every guy I’ve ever gone out with. I may be bisexual, depending on your definition of the word. I’ve had sex with four guys, and 3 of them meant basically nothing to me, as horrible as that is. I’ve done drugs, and not the wimpy ones, stuff way worse that weed or pills. I’ve tried to kill myself (numerous times though not recently so spare me the lecture, I don’t think like that anymore). I’ve been drunk/hungover at school. On St Patrick’s Day I got drunk and naked in front of someone I had just met that night. But not all things people don’t know are bad, there’s other stuff too. I genuinely care about my friends and my family even though I tend to be a bitch much of the time. I may dismiss people that annoy me, but the ones I do bother with I greatly care about, so if you’re one of those people, know that you mean something to me. I cry really easily and most of the time it’s because I miss my dad, even if it seems to be about something else. My favorite place in the world is Sanibel Island and there isn’t any time of any day when I wouldn’t rather be there than where I am. I am very much in love with Mike McNally and I am grateful every day to have him in my life. He’s the only person who knows all of the things I wrote above and much more, and loves me for who I am.
I promise to be honest from here on. If anyone reads anything they can’t handle and their opinion of me changes, I’m sorry. I know that most everyone else acts like someone they’re not just like I do, and this makes me sad. It’s better to be hated for who you are than loved for something you’re not! I’m drunk, I need to sleep. G’night
Stacey