Everything pretty much sucks right now.
This past week has been hell so far. I hate being so stressed out.
I've been feeling seriously depressed for the last few days, like everything is all dark and bleak. I just can't seem to feel cheerful about anything anymore. All I do is worry, stress, and worry some more. It's kind of scary, since I don't feel particularly excited about anything in the near or not-so-near future the only thing I'm looking forward to is being able to put this term behind me. I'm dreading the next two years of university, when I'll actually be in the commerce program and not just a pre-admit anymore. It's funny, I used to get so excited about the thought of starting my commerce core courses, and now that third year is closer than ever all I feel is this sense of dread and panic.
Maybe it's because there's so much pressure this year to do well in everything. Maybe it's because I get the feeling that my parents expect so much of me, and that I might not be living up to their expectations.
I had my second statistics midterm today, and I know that I failed it. I hadn't even finished writing it before I knew that I was going to fail. The questions weren't anything like the homework questions, or the examples in my notes, or anything in my textbook. I can't even describe the way I felt during the exam (bewildered? angry? scared?), but afterwards I pretty much fled to the nearest washroom, locked myself into a stall, and spent the next half hour crying. If I get any lower than a B in this class, I'll be kicked out of commerce. For good. How's that for scary?
Now I'm done all my midterms for the week (french, psych, stats, and sociology), and I just feel... nothing. Not happy, not even really relieved.
I've been feeling seriously depressed for the last few days, like everything is all dark and bleak. I just can't seem to feel cheerful about anything anymore. All I do is worry, stress, and worry some more. It's kind of scary, since I don't feel particularly excited about anything in the near or not-so-near future the only thing I'm looking forward to is being able to put this term behind me. I'm dreading the next two years of university, when I'll actually be in the commerce program and not just a pre-admit anymore. It's funny, I used to get so excited about the thought of starting my commerce core courses, and now that third year is closer than ever all I feel is this sense of dread and panic.
Maybe it's because there's so much pressure this year to do well in everything. Maybe it's because I get the feeling that my parents expect so much of me, and that I might not be living up to their expectations.
I had my second statistics midterm today, and I know that I failed it. I hadn't even finished writing it before I knew that I was going to fail. The questions weren't anything like the homework questions, or the examples in my notes, or anything in my textbook. I can't even describe the way I felt during the exam (bewildered? angry? scared?), but afterwards I pretty much fled to the nearest washroom, locked myself into a stall, and spent the next half hour crying. If I get any lower than a B in this class, I'll be kicked out of commerce. For good. How's that for scary?
Now I'm done all my midterms for the week (french, psych, stats, and sociology), and I just feel... nothing. Not happy, not even really relieved.