(no subject)
so maybe all i need is some space to put my head on straight. ive been working through things one by one, and day by day but maybe what i need is a little bit bigger than that. i cant keep looking around and seeing everything going foward, i need to see myself doing it. so maybe that means whatever im doing with tim shouldnt be done, and whatever friendships im building online need to be put on hold. right now i need in the flesh real and physically present people. i need people i can call on the phone and meet at the diner for tea in twenty minutes. and maybe i really need to do it this time, not just quit a week into it.
to be honest, im already out of the loop, so now im taking myself out of the game. college is a fresh start. and maybe thats precisely what i need. you know the email if you want to keep in touch. and if not, than maybe it wasnt worth it to begin with. id like to think that isnt true though.
what i know is that things are getting better. and im letting them. and i need to know this is going to last, and i need people who want to be there. and i need to feel like im not just some name on a list. so what i am going to do is take my name off the list. and then see who remains. thank you for everything, all of you. really. these last couple years have changed me. and i can honestly say now, for the better. i love you guys and even if you dont love me anymore, i will miss you guys.
if this does end up being my last letter, please believe that things are good with me, and even when they're not, they will be soon enough. And i will believe the same about you.
to be honest, im already out of the loop, so now im taking myself out of the game. college is a fresh start. and maybe thats precisely what i need. you know the email if you want to keep in touch. and if not, than maybe it wasnt worth it to begin with. id like to think that isnt true though.
what i know is that things are getting better. and im letting them. and i need to know this is going to last, and i need people who want to be there. and i need to feel like im not just some name on a list. so what i am going to do is take my name off the list. and then see who remains. thank you for everything, all of you. really. these last couple years have changed me. and i can honestly say now, for the better. i love you guys and even if you dont love me anymore, i will miss you guys.
if this does end up being my last letter, please believe that things are good with me, and even when they're not, they will be soon enough. And i will believe the same about you.