(no subject)
alright so my life is incredibly awsome
i ve got so many great friends and good grades and a cool family and im not deformed or sick or anything, i have enough to eat every day and a nice warm place to sleep, i have everything a normal person would dream for.
but im obviously not a normal person, as many of you have made very clear to me
so what do i, personally need, i need an adventure, an extremely dangerous exciting adventure with buried treasure and a happy ending, one where i can meet new friends and find old friends, and maybe do a little more than that, but where am i going to find such an amazing adventure? i dont know where to begin.
i feel like im wasting the precious little time i do have on this earth by doing things like work and livejournal, what is the point of all this?
what is the point? i need some kind of point, direction, some way of knowing what i need to do, and what i want to do,
i wish i could just let go
let go of everything that is in my life and just find that thing i need and enjoy it, and not worry about anything else
which is the more correct way of living life? i dont know
the other day ivan yelled at stef really loudly and angrily and he had no right to, and i didnt do anything about it, normaly i would defend a friend to the death, because it shows that i can help a friend in need, i think he really did hurt her feelings and she wasnt going to say that to him, i feel like most people need someone like that who can defend them and put jerks in their place, but i didnt defend her, i didnt because im still mad, im still angry at her for leaving me, thats what it is, she left me and i was so lost and hurt by that, and i dont know what is right in this situation, is it wrong of me to hold grudges, i know she needs someone to talk to that isnt nick, and i know she doesnt have that person, but on the other hand aren't i justified in being hurt, dont i get to have some kind of revenge?
i feel like a lesbian, but isnt a close friendship just as important as a relationship with a boy/girlfriend? i guess im the only one who thinks so, but maybe thats because i only have one of the two, maybe if i had both i would completely abandon my friends too, i probably would
i want to leave right now
i wish i could just drop everything and leave right now and not care about all the people i know, but i dont have that ability like some people do
but i think its much easier to
i dont know what im talking about, or who im talking to
where is everybody? where are all the humans?
i am both a part of and apart from this
i am looking for someone who is looking for me
sometimes i cant tell if im really smart, or really dumb
people talk about understanding, im talking about not understanding, anything, anyone, any anything
i like to give posts 24 hours just to make sure if there are any people out there who understand whats going on right here, and usually there arent any, but thats the point, to know if there are, not to make them magically appear
i ve got so many great friends and good grades and a cool family and im not deformed or sick or anything, i have enough to eat every day and a nice warm place to sleep, i have everything a normal person would dream for.
but im obviously not a normal person, as many of you have made very clear to me
so what do i, personally need, i need an adventure, an extremely dangerous exciting adventure with buried treasure and a happy ending, one where i can meet new friends and find old friends, and maybe do a little more than that, but where am i going to find such an amazing adventure? i dont know where to begin.
i feel like im wasting the precious little time i do have on this earth by doing things like work and livejournal, what is the point of all this?
what is the point? i need some kind of point, direction, some way of knowing what i need to do, and what i want to do,
i wish i could just let go
let go of everything that is in my life and just find that thing i need and enjoy it, and not worry about anything else
which is the more correct way of living life? i dont know
the other day ivan yelled at stef really loudly and angrily and he had no right to, and i didnt do anything about it, normaly i would defend a friend to the death, because it shows that i can help a friend in need, i think he really did hurt her feelings and she wasnt going to say that to him, i feel like most people need someone like that who can defend them and put jerks in their place, but i didnt defend her, i didnt because im still mad, im still angry at her for leaving me, thats what it is, she left me and i was so lost and hurt by that, and i dont know what is right in this situation, is it wrong of me to hold grudges, i know she needs someone to talk to that isnt nick, and i know she doesnt have that person, but on the other hand aren't i justified in being hurt, dont i get to have some kind of revenge?
i feel like a lesbian, but isnt a close friendship just as important as a relationship with a boy/girlfriend? i guess im the only one who thinks so, but maybe thats because i only have one of the two, maybe if i had both i would completely abandon my friends too, i probably would
i want to leave right now
i wish i could just drop everything and leave right now and not care about all the people i know, but i dont have that ability like some people do
but i think its much easier to
i dont know what im talking about, or who im talking to
where is everybody? where are all the humans?
i am both a part of and apart from this
i am looking for someone who is looking for me
sometimes i cant tell if im really smart, or really dumb
people talk about understanding, im talking about not understanding, anything, anyone, any anything
i like to give posts 24 hours just to make sure if there are any people out there who understand whats going on right here, and usually there arent any, but thats the point, to know if there are, not to make them magically appear