(no subject)
Sometimes when i think about things, they really make me mad, not in a way that i would ever bring them up in a real situation though, because that would just cause unwanted actions, but then again, maybe this entry will do that, im gonna post it anyway
why do people have to be the way they are?
i really really love everyone sometimes, most of the time, all the time, except now
something is really bothering me
i cant fuckin sleep, i cant fucking think, but really im thinking to much right now, i cant even write it down, i cant fuckin bring myself to it
dont think im depressed, im not
and even if i was, theres nothing you could do about it, i need to do it myself
i HATE being dependent I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT FUCK
sometimes it seems like the saddest people dont deserve it and the happyest people dont deserve what they have either, but thats a lie, because everyone deserves happyness
im very tired of people assumeing im stupid, im tired of being regarded as some dumb girl who has no place in anything worth comprehending, i never really minded it, for a long time i really didnt mind it at all, but now i am noticing all these people that called me stupid, and they are being much more stupid then i ever am. i think that the reason you call me stupid is because i like having fun, i like being happy and silly and childish, its not because thats the highest my brain can function, its because life is so much better to me that way, honestly, i do judge people i admitt it, but not to hurt them not to force my own ideas onto them, its because i disagree with what they are, it doesnt mean i dislike them, they just arent for me, but i dont treat them any worse because of it, i just really dont understand how anyone could disagree with trying to be happy, but i guess thats how everyone else feels about their own personalities.
people take themselves to seriously, just because you take yourself seriously doesnt mean im going to
i dont take myself seriously enough, maybe thats why you all think im dumb, because i let you and i dont care, but why would you take advantage of that? are people that obssesed with hurting each other
maybe i am dumb because i dont understand you
i dont understand why people like to hurt, you can say i hurt trevor but thats play, you can say i hurt emily but thats because she hurts me, you can say i hurt my mom but thats completely accidental, you can say i hurt myself but thats really accidental as well, so maybe this is you, maybe you hurt me cuz you dont even realize it
AHFUCKINHA
you say im to sensitive but who the fuck is the one complaining whenever i do something to you YOU i feel every single fucking little thing you do to me but i dont complain because im a naturally happy person and i would rather shrug it off then have any conflit AND YET you start conflit at every waking moment
I AM NOT ASKING FOR YOU TO ACKNOWLADGE THAT IM A GOOD PERSON IM NOT ASKING FOR THANKS BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE CONCITED AND DISGUSTINGLY VAIN I DONT WANT YOU TO THINK IM INSULTING YOU I JUST WANT YOU TO BE NICE AND CHILL THE FUCK OUT
(i wrote that in caps because i wanted it to stick out not because im angry at anything)
because how can i be happy when everyone around me is not, when everyone around me wants nothing but themselves
i dont remember the point i was trying to make
i am very tired
why do people have to be the way they are?
i really really love everyone sometimes, most of the time, all the time, except now
something is really bothering me
i cant fuckin sleep, i cant fucking think, but really im thinking to much right now, i cant even write it down, i cant fuckin bring myself to it
dont think im depressed, im not
and even if i was, theres nothing you could do about it, i need to do it myself
i HATE being dependent I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT FUCK
sometimes it seems like the saddest people dont deserve it and the happyest people dont deserve what they have either, but thats a lie, because everyone deserves happyness
im very tired of people assumeing im stupid, im tired of being regarded as some dumb girl who has no place in anything worth comprehending, i never really minded it, for a long time i really didnt mind it at all, but now i am noticing all these people that called me stupid, and they are being much more stupid then i ever am. i think that the reason you call me stupid is because i like having fun, i like being happy and silly and childish, its not because thats the highest my brain can function, its because life is so much better to me that way, honestly, i do judge people i admitt it, but not to hurt them not to force my own ideas onto them, its because i disagree with what they are, it doesnt mean i dislike them, they just arent for me, but i dont treat them any worse because of it, i just really dont understand how anyone could disagree with trying to be happy, but i guess thats how everyone else feels about their own personalities.
people take themselves to seriously, just because you take yourself seriously doesnt mean im going to
i dont take myself seriously enough, maybe thats why you all think im dumb, because i let you and i dont care, but why would you take advantage of that? are people that obssesed with hurting each other
maybe i am dumb because i dont understand you
i dont understand why people like to hurt, you can say i hurt trevor but thats play, you can say i hurt emily but thats because she hurts me, you can say i hurt my mom but thats completely accidental, you can say i hurt myself but thats really accidental as well, so maybe this is you, maybe you hurt me cuz you dont even realize it
AHFUCKINHA
you say im to sensitive but who the fuck is the one complaining whenever i do something to you YOU i feel every single fucking little thing you do to me but i dont complain because im a naturally happy person and i would rather shrug it off then have any conflit AND YET you start conflit at every waking moment
I AM NOT ASKING FOR YOU TO ACKNOWLADGE THAT IM A GOOD PERSON IM NOT ASKING FOR THANKS BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE CONCITED AND DISGUSTINGLY VAIN I DONT WANT YOU TO THINK IM INSULTING YOU I JUST WANT YOU TO BE NICE AND CHILL THE FUCK OUT
(i wrote that in caps because i wanted it to stick out not because im angry at anything)
because how can i be happy when everyone around me is not, when everyone around me wants nothing but themselves
i dont remember the point i was trying to make
i am very tired