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The state of things, currently.
I have opened a bottle of wine, and I'm alone in my apartment. Sunny is here but she's asleep. It took me a while to decide whether or not I was going to open the wine. I knew if I opened the bottle, I wouldn't have just one glass. I told myself, I'll have a glass of wine, OK, maybe 2 glasses. I'm halfway through my 3rd. The glasses are goblet-like redwine glasses (I'm drinking trader joes red wine.) I certainly have not done this in a while. In the past I really used to enjoy getting a little high on my own, but now I don't ever feel like I want to do that. I don't even have any pot, and haven't, for a few weeks now. I have had 2 bottles of wine just sitting up on top of my fridge for almost a month now as well. Strange, to suddenly be indulging my myself.
The truth is, I'm lonely. Usually, I'd just go to sleep. Take a melatonin and call it a night. Usually I've got to be up early enough, so I want to go to sleep. Tonight is different because I don't have to be up super early, and also, Alex is at a football game and may come back here after. In a sense, I'm waiting for him. I never really do this, Waiting Up thing. But yesterday was a strange day, and today was weird. So i'm sort of, not myself. Or, I'm actually regressing into a self I used to be, drinking wine alone. I used to drink alone at my parents house. I still do, whenever I go home. I guess in drawn to wine when I'm especially lonely. You know what? Loneliness is my LEAST favorite thing. I used to be lonely a LOT. Loneliness is terrible for me I guess because I'm such a social person. Sometimes I'm almost too social. I want everyone to be my friend, sometimes. Or sometimes I want everyone to leave me the fuck alone. Not everyone, but just the people who aren't that cool. There are a lot of really cool people out there though, and I wish they lived next door to me and we could be friends and drink this wine together.
Anyway, at this point, I've become drunk. I'm not going to finish this glass of wine. It's silly that now here I am, and the football game has probably just ended, and I'm a hot mess of drunk. Oops, I didn't mean to actually get drunk. Just warm and happy, Mmm wine, ya know. But I knew this would happen, which is why I hesitated so long in the first place. getting up tomorrow is gonna be hard. umph.
I have opened a bottle of wine, and I'm alone in my apartment. Sunny is here but she's asleep. It took me a while to decide whether or not I was going to open the wine. I knew if I opened the bottle, I wouldn't have just one glass. I told myself, I'll have a glass of wine, OK, maybe 2 glasses. I'm halfway through my 3rd. The glasses are goblet-like redwine glasses (I'm drinking trader joes red wine.) I certainly have not done this in a while. In the past I really used to enjoy getting a little high on my own, but now I don't ever feel like I want to do that. I don't even have any pot, and haven't, for a few weeks now. I have had 2 bottles of wine just sitting up on top of my fridge for almost a month now as well. Strange, to suddenly be indulging my myself.
The truth is, I'm lonely. Usually, I'd just go to sleep. Take a melatonin and call it a night. Usually I've got to be up early enough, so I want to go to sleep. Tonight is different because I don't have to be up super early, and also, Alex is at a football game and may come back here after. In a sense, I'm waiting for him. I never really do this, Waiting Up thing. But yesterday was a strange day, and today was weird. So i'm sort of, not myself. Or, I'm actually regressing into a self I used to be, drinking wine alone. I used to drink alone at my parents house. I still do, whenever I go home. I guess in drawn to wine when I'm especially lonely. You know what? Loneliness is my LEAST favorite thing. I used to be lonely a LOT. Loneliness is terrible for me I guess because I'm such a social person. Sometimes I'm almost too social. I want everyone to be my friend, sometimes. Or sometimes I want everyone to leave me the fuck alone. Not everyone, but just the people who aren't that cool. There are a lot of really cool people out there though, and I wish they lived next door to me and we could be friends and drink this wine together.
Anyway, at this point, I've become drunk. I'm not going to finish this glass of wine. It's silly that now here I am, and the football game has probably just ended, and I'm a hot mess of drunk. Oops, I didn't mean to actually get drunk. Just warm and happy, Mmm wine, ya know. But I knew this would happen, which is why I hesitated so long in the first place. getting up tomorrow is gonna be hard. umph.