(no subject)
i havent written in such a long time. i've been so busy with cheerleading and school and work and trying to hang out with friends. the last part never happens though.
school was going good. i have above a 94 in all of my classes, which was good enough for me anyway.
cheerleading was going really well. i made competition squad. i was lifting and getting better at basing. i almost had my back hand spring and my running back hand spring.
work, not so much. i hate it there. i never get scheduled and when i do, i call off.
but i recently got sick and found out i have mono and an enlarged spleen. thats it so far. i went for blood tests today to see if its anything more severe. im so sick. my throat is practically closed and gets smaller every day. i havent ate since friday. my nose is yucky. im exhausted.
i feel so lonely right now. my family wont touch me or come like 2ft near me because they're afraid of getting mono. they yell at me to lie down and rest and to get better, but then they make me do chores still. i am physically and mentally not able to do this. i cry myself to sleep everynight. its so much stress with trying to get all of my homework and school work. and because it is the end of the quarter, all of my teachers decided to throw in a last minute project due before nov 1 (the end of the quarter). if i dont complete it, i get an incomplete. i have never gotten an incomplete.
and with cheerleading.. ive worked so hard. ive lifted all summer and im finally getting a lot of respect and people are realizing my hard work. i was also becoming a better base and made competition squad and was in a four-person for competition. but now i cant cheer for a month. which means i cant cheer for the last 2 football games of the year, the two biggest ones, mind you. and i cant compete. thats the most upsetting part because i have worked so hard and was finally getting good things and to be told i cant do what i love. ive let my team and myself down.
all of this is so much to handle at one time. the worst part of it all is that i was finally starting to accept myself and become happier and more confident. now i just feel like shit and i dont want to do anything.
i need a friend< 3
school was going good. i have above a 94 in all of my classes, which was good enough for me anyway.
cheerleading was going really well. i made competition squad. i was lifting and getting better at basing. i almost had my back hand spring and my running back hand spring.
work, not so much. i hate it there. i never get scheduled and when i do, i call off.
but i recently got sick and found out i have mono and an enlarged spleen. thats it so far. i went for blood tests today to see if its anything more severe. im so sick. my throat is practically closed and gets smaller every day. i havent ate since friday. my nose is yucky. im exhausted.
i feel so lonely right now. my family wont touch me or come like 2ft near me because they're afraid of getting mono. they yell at me to lie down and rest and to get better, but then they make me do chores still. i am physically and mentally not able to do this. i cry myself to sleep everynight. its so much stress with trying to get all of my homework and school work. and because it is the end of the quarter, all of my teachers decided to throw in a last minute project due before nov 1 (the end of the quarter). if i dont complete it, i get an incomplete. i have never gotten an incomplete.
and with cheerleading.. ive worked so hard. ive lifted all summer and im finally getting a lot of respect and people are realizing my hard work. i was also becoming a better base and made competition squad and was in a four-person for competition. but now i cant cheer for a month. which means i cant cheer for the last 2 football games of the year, the two biggest ones, mind you. and i cant compete. thats the most upsetting part because i have worked so hard and was finally getting good things and to be told i cant do what i love. ive let my team and myself down.
all of this is so much to handle at one time. the worst part of it all is that i was finally starting to accept myself and become happier and more confident. now i just feel like shit and i dont want to do anything.
i need a friend< 3