(no subject)
LMAO my dad bought me the bong. C'est tres beau, except for the mentioned ugly shade of yellow. Damn how I hate yellow. But fuck it, it's an awesome piece, I finally have my own freaking bong finally! Thank you daddy-o ♥
I had my first meeting with the therapist this afternoon and it was actually not that bad. I fucking went through hell last night, crying and not being able to get to sleep because of how freaked out I was. And then today I just laid in bed and cried my eyes out all morning, so much that I tired myself out and I fell asleep and was ten minutes late for my appointment. My therapist is an old guy named Barry and he was actually pretty nice and genuine. He of course asked me all those standard mental health questions, like if I hear voices or if I feel like people are the news are talking about me. I was in there for almost an hour and a half too. He asked about my chidhood and my family and all that, and then about my friends and school and work, and drugs and alcohol and everything else. I almost cried a few times, I felt that lump rising in my throat and my voice started to quiver a few times. But to be honest I didn't find it all that hard to open up and actually speak to him, maybe because he was asking valid questions that actually made sense, not like my family doctor, that stupid fuck. He asked me if I'm sad and if I cry a lot. Like, honestly. After three years of diagnosed depression, I sit in his office and have to answer rediculous, obvious questions like that. That first visit I wasn't in his office for more than ten minutes before he prescribed my with anti-depressants. He didn't listen to a word I said, he just saw me as another depressed teen, and that's exactly how he treated me. He's such a cunt. But this guy Barry was fine, and now I'm actually not freaked out about having a dude as my therapist. He said if I wanted to change to a woman I could, but I don't think I need to now. My next appointment's next Monday, so ..yeah. That's it I guess. I'm in therapy now. Pretty strange.
I just went out with dad and got some groceries and another half-quater because I was down to my last bowl. BOOYAH. AND I also have the house to myself for a little while because everyone's out. So I'm going to have a sesh and drink my Rolo milkshake.
Ciao xox
EDIT: Squeee! Kaelee gave me the most AWESOME count on the half-quarter! That's what I like. Oh baby.
I had my first meeting with the therapist this afternoon and it was actually not that bad. I fucking went through hell last night, crying and not being able to get to sleep because of how freaked out I was. And then today I just laid in bed and cried my eyes out all morning, so much that I tired myself out and I fell asleep and was ten minutes late for my appointment. My therapist is an old guy named Barry and he was actually pretty nice and genuine. He of course asked me all those standard mental health questions, like if I hear voices or if I feel like people are the news are talking about me. I was in there for almost an hour and a half too. He asked about my chidhood and my family and all that, and then about my friends and school and work, and drugs and alcohol and everything else. I almost cried a few times, I felt that lump rising in my throat and my voice started to quiver a few times. But to be honest I didn't find it all that hard to open up and actually speak to him, maybe because he was asking valid questions that actually made sense, not like my family doctor, that stupid fuck. He asked me if I'm sad and if I cry a lot. Like, honestly. After three years of diagnosed depression, I sit in his office and have to answer rediculous, obvious questions like that. That first visit I wasn't in his office for more than ten minutes before he prescribed my with anti-depressants. He didn't listen to a word I said, he just saw me as another depressed teen, and that's exactly how he treated me. He's such a cunt. But this guy Barry was fine, and now I'm actually not freaked out about having a dude as my therapist. He said if I wanted to change to a woman I could, but I don't think I need to now. My next appointment's next Monday, so ..yeah. That's it I guess. I'm in therapy now. Pretty strange.
I just went out with dad and got some groceries and another half-quater because I was down to my last bowl. BOOYAH. AND I also have the house to myself for a little while because everyone's out. So I'm going to have a sesh and drink my Rolo milkshake.
Ciao xox
EDIT: Squeee! Kaelee gave me the most AWESOME count on the half-quarter! That's what I like. Oh baby.