I'm their villian
Today was all about the bean and bacon soup.
See we had the soup last night with dinner, but I put in too much Lawrey's Salt with Tabasco and I was the only one who liked it. So I put it in the refrigerator after dinner and Maddie off-handedly said, "mommers, why are you even putting that in there? No one's going to eat it!" and A Thought was born.
__________
I wake my children up with a backscratch and a little light talk about the day - what it's like outside, what to wear, what breakfast is, what's going on at school, what the plans are for snack or afterschool or that evening. This morning I made sure to talk about it being April Fools Day - tricky, and full of jokes and silly things. A pretend sort of day. Believe me, for a child as young as Syd and Cai the world is still a surprising place with new things happening all the time and new rules about how to live popping up all over. A bit of advance notice does little to mediate the shock of the new, as you will soon see.
So everyone clear on that, up and dressed, the padawans came down to a breakfast... of bean and bacon soup.
"What...is this?!?" said Maddie, disgusted.
"Bean and bacon soup. Sit down and be quick so you're not late for school," I said matter-of-factly.
"But but but I don't have to EAT IT, do I?!" Cai whined, upset past control.
"No, Cai" I said immediately, "remember? This is the tricky day! The day for silly pretend things, like soup for breakfast."
"But MOOOOOM," Cai said, starting to cry, "I don't really like this soup, mom! I don't want it for breakfast, please!"
"Oh Cai, no, you don't have to!" Paris jumped into the scene with me, seeing Cai going under, "it's just a joke! Mom doesn't really want you to eat it!"
"This is NOT REALLY A BREAKFAST THAT I LIKE!" Cai cried louder, unhinged by the very sight of soup where a cereal bowl should be.
Maddie and Syd, though clear that this was some sort of JOKE and that they didn't have to eat the soup, were nonetheless unsettled by how upset Cai was - maybe, after all, there was something sinister in this soup-for-breakfast trick?!? In the end, I had to completely clear the soup from the table and re-set it with cereal. At which point Cai 'got' it was a joke and we all thought it was funny.
Until I brought out the ziplock bags of snack to put in their backpacks, which snack? Was bean and bacon soup.
Cai, flustered, tried to explain (nicely, bless his heart) that he didn't really enjoy this soup the first time, last night, and he didn't really think 'soup' was a good snack anyway. We reminded him that it was April fools, a tricky day, and that maybe this was another trick, hmmm? But until I handed him his real snack he could not hear what we were saying. The older kids saw right away an opportunity to trick their teachers, and took the bags of soup. Even Syd understood how this could be a funny joke on her teacher and put it in her backpack with her real snack...but Cai wouldn't even entertain the suggestion that he put that nasty thing anywhere near him for ANY reason. Oh, my dear sweet literal Cairo!
Once at school we tricked Syd's teacher by handing her the baggie with soup in it and saying how much Syd wanted THAT for snack and could she pop down to the break room and heat it up when it was time for snack? And, bless her, confused as that made her SHE TOTALLY TOOK IT AND SAID YES. And then Syd said "Happy Fooled, April Day!" and her teacher understood what we'd done! Oh don't worry about her - she got me back, all right. :D
After school I went to pick up Syd and the teacher had a lovely surprise - a small Blizzard cup, from Dairy Queen!
"Here's an Oreo Blizzard for you!" she and Syd said, handing me the cup as all the kids (sitting on the carpet, waiting to be picked up) watched anxiously.
I made a big deal of being SO HAPPY about such a treat, and how I wanted a spoon to eat it RIGHT NOW, and I promised all of them a bite (at which one or two backed slowly out of the circle, lol!), and looked down to see the surface covered in rainbow sprinkles! I showed everyone and talked about how good it was going to be when we ate it, and I dug into the cup with my spoon and brought up...
...bean and bacon soup, with sprinkles and cheerios. L. O. L!! We all had a general revulsion at that, I tell you, and a great loud LAUGH by the whole classroom!
On the way home Maddie told us about tricking her teacher, and I took Cai aside and reminded him abut TRICKY APRIL FOOLS DAY, and when we got home guess what was waiting for snack? Ha ha you guessed it - bean and bacon soup! ...yes, Cai protested and asked if he could please, PLEASE have something else?!? *headdesk* I hate to say it, but Cai's reaction to the soup was starting to become funnier than the actual soup part. We aren't mean spirited, I swear, but he was so SERIOUS and after we had just TOLD HIM about... oh there's no excuse. He was just so FUNNY!
We invited ch4rm over for dinner because he is a grown-up and they take themselves very seriously and so we knew that he would forget about April Fools and we could REALLY trick him! Grown-ups are fuddy-duddies, especially men who work all day. We love them a lot and they are good to do it, but it makes them serious.
First off, NO ONE would come down when ch4rm called them for dinner and also they actually HID FROM HIM (and don't think this didn't take some SERIOUS convincing on my part!) when he called them! It took him 15 minutes to find everyone in the house, especially Maddie who hid downstairs when everyone else was upstairs!
And then I served pancakes for dinner, but the 'syrup'? Was BEAN AND BACON SOUP!!
HAHAHAHAHA OH THE FACES!
Cai, a wibble on his lower lip, looks at ch4rm and says, "We don't have to eat this, right? RIGHT?!" and ch4rm cut a piece off of the pancake and ATE IT.
I thought Cai was going to burst into tears right there! I leaned down quick and said, "NO, no! Remember Tricky Day? EVERYTHING with soup is a joke today - you NEVER have to eat bean and bacon soup today, it will always be a joke!" But in the end, I had to take all the plates with the pancake and soup-syrup OFF the table before Cai would eat the pancakes and bacon and fruit we actually had for dinner. OH MY LITTLE CAI I LOVE HIM SO.
And then ch4rm found that he could not eat his pancake because he could not cut it. Because it was a thinly-disguised pancake-covered piece of cardboard.
And he almost cried, and said plaintively, "I JUST WANT TO EAT A PANCAKE! PLEEEEEASE!"
So I soothed him as the children laughed, and cleared his second plate and gave him another pancake.
...one which he STILL couldn't cut, because it was, again, a thinly-disguised pancake-covered piece of cardboard.
I and the children, in on the joke from the beginning, almost fell over laughing at how distraught he was.
I could have gone on (I had 4 pancakes like this) but he got up and took a pancake off the griddle which was totally cheating but also fairly smart.
Desert was ice cream and I really tried to put bean and bacon syrup over the top but the padawans actually picked up their dishes and ran away from me. And so I figured maybe they had had enough.
I am fairly certain that one or two dreams tonight will involve horrible scary soup. Also, I will not be able to serve bean and bacon soup for a great long while.
(TOTALLY worth it!)
PS. Best Internet April Fools Joke: World of Warcraft: The Molten Core. Watch the trailer - and then scroll down for concept vs. ACTUAL screenshots. Hahahahaha!!
See we had the soup last night with dinner, but I put in too much Lawrey's Salt with Tabasco and I was the only one who liked it. So I put it in the refrigerator after dinner and Maddie off-handedly said, "mommers, why are you even putting that in there? No one's going to eat it!" and A Thought was born.
__________
I wake my children up with a backscratch and a little light talk about the day - what it's like outside, what to wear, what breakfast is, what's going on at school, what the plans are for snack or afterschool or that evening. This morning I made sure to talk about it being April Fools Day - tricky, and full of jokes and silly things. A pretend sort of day. Believe me, for a child as young as Syd and Cai the world is still a surprising place with new things happening all the time and new rules about how to live popping up all over. A bit of advance notice does little to mediate the shock of the new, as you will soon see.
So everyone clear on that, up and dressed, the padawans came down to a breakfast... of bean and bacon soup.
"What...is this?!?" said Maddie, disgusted.
"Bean and bacon soup. Sit down and be quick so you're not late for school," I said matter-of-factly.
"But but but I don't have to EAT IT, do I?!" Cai whined, upset past control.
"No, Cai" I said immediately, "remember? This is the tricky day! The day for silly pretend things, like soup for breakfast."
"But MOOOOOM," Cai said, starting to cry, "I don't really like this soup, mom! I don't want it for breakfast, please!"
"Oh Cai, no, you don't have to!" Paris jumped into the scene with me, seeing Cai going under, "it's just a joke! Mom doesn't really want you to eat it!"
"This is NOT REALLY A BREAKFAST THAT I LIKE!" Cai cried louder, unhinged by the very sight of soup where a cereal bowl should be.
Maddie and Syd, though clear that this was some sort of JOKE and that they didn't have to eat the soup, were nonetheless unsettled by how upset Cai was - maybe, after all, there was something sinister in this soup-for-breakfast trick?!? In the end, I had to completely clear the soup from the table and re-set it with cereal. At which point Cai 'got' it was a joke and we all thought it was funny.
Until I brought out the ziplock bags of snack to put in their backpacks, which snack? Was bean and bacon soup.
Cai, flustered, tried to explain (nicely, bless his heart) that he didn't really enjoy this soup the first time, last night, and he didn't really think 'soup' was a good snack anyway. We reminded him that it was April fools, a tricky day, and that maybe this was another trick, hmmm? But until I handed him his real snack he could not hear what we were saying. The older kids saw right away an opportunity to trick their teachers, and took the bags of soup. Even Syd understood how this could be a funny joke on her teacher and put it in her backpack with her real snack...but Cai wouldn't even entertain the suggestion that he put that nasty thing anywhere near him for ANY reason. Oh, my dear sweet literal Cairo!
Once at school we tricked Syd's teacher by handing her the baggie with soup in it and saying how much Syd wanted THAT for snack and could she pop down to the break room and heat it up when it was time for snack? And, bless her, confused as that made her SHE TOTALLY TOOK IT AND SAID YES. And then Syd said "Happy Fooled, April Day!" and her teacher understood what we'd done! Oh don't worry about her - she got me back, all right. :D
After school I went to pick up Syd and the teacher had a lovely surprise - a small Blizzard cup, from Dairy Queen!
"Here's an Oreo Blizzard for you!" she and Syd said, handing me the cup as all the kids (sitting on the carpet, waiting to be picked up) watched anxiously.
I made a big deal of being SO HAPPY about such a treat, and how I wanted a spoon to eat it RIGHT NOW, and I promised all of them a bite (at which one or two backed slowly out of the circle, lol!), and looked down to see the surface covered in rainbow sprinkles! I showed everyone and talked about how good it was going to be when we ate it, and I dug into the cup with my spoon and brought up...
...bean and bacon soup, with sprinkles and cheerios. L. O. L!! We all had a general revulsion at that, I tell you, and a great loud LAUGH by the whole classroom!
On the way home Maddie told us about tricking her teacher, and I took Cai aside and reminded him abut TRICKY APRIL FOOLS DAY, and when we got home guess what was waiting for snack? Ha ha you guessed it - bean and bacon soup! ...yes, Cai protested and asked if he could please, PLEASE have something else?!? *headdesk* I hate to say it, but Cai's reaction to the soup was starting to become funnier than the actual soup part. We aren't mean spirited, I swear, but he was so SERIOUS and after we had just TOLD HIM about... oh there's no excuse. He was just so FUNNY!
We invited ch4rm over for dinner because he is a grown-up and they take themselves very seriously and so we knew that he would forget about April Fools and we could REALLY trick him! Grown-ups are fuddy-duddies, especially men who work all day. We love them a lot and they are good to do it, but it makes them serious.
First off, NO ONE would come down when ch4rm called them for dinner and also they actually HID FROM HIM (and don't think this didn't take some SERIOUS convincing on my part!) when he called them! It took him 15 minutes to find everyone in the house, especially Maddie who hid downstairs when everyone else was upstairs!
And then I served pancakes for dinner, but the 'syrup'? Was BEAN AND BACON SOUP!!
HAHAHAHAHA OH THE FACES!
Cai, a wibble on his lower lip, looks at ch4rm and says, "We don't have to eat this, right? RIGHT?!" and ch4rm cut a piece off of the pancake and ATE IT.
I thought Cai was going to burst into tears right there! I leaned down quick and said, "NO, no! Remember Tricky Day? EVERYTHING with soup is a joke today - you NEVER have to eat bean and bacon soup today, it will always be a joke!" But in the end, I had to take all the plates with the pancake and soup-syrup OFF the table before Cai would eat the pancakes and bacon and fruit we actually had for dinner. OH MY LITTLE CAI I LOVE HIM SO.
And then ch4rm found that he could not eat his pancake because he could not cut it. Because it was a thinly-disguised pancake-covered piece of cardboard.
And he almost cried, and said plaintively, "I JUST WANT TO EAT A PANCAKE! PLEEEEEASE!"
So I soothed him as the children laughed, and cleared his second plate and gave him another pancake.
...one which he STILL couldn't cut, because it was, again, a thinly-disguised pancake-covered piece of cardboard.
I and the children, in on the joke from the beginning, almost fell over laughing at how distraught he was.
I could have gone on (I had 4 pancakes like this) but he got up and took a pancake off the griddle which was totally cheating but also fairly smart.
Desert was ice cream and I really tried to put bean and bacon syrup over the top but the padawans actually picked up their dishes and ran away from me. And so I figured maybe they had had enough.
I am fairly certain that one or two dreams tonight will involve horrible scary soup. Also, I will not be able to serve bean and bacon soup for a great long while.
(TOTALLY worth it!)
PS. Best Internet April Fools Joke: World of Warcraft: The Molten Core. Watch the trailer - and then scroll down for concept vs. ACTUAL screenshots. Hahahahaha!!