Done! ... and whoo, am I DONE.
We all know horrible, horrible divorce stories.
In 3 hours, ch4rm and I negotiated the terms of our divorce - no fighting, no yelling, no crying, no accusations, no hysterics. Just two adults respecting each other's past service and future dreams, determined to work together in friendship.
We signed the papers and now it's done.
Generally we each got less than we wanted but more than we thought we would while retaining what was most important to each of us.
I will go to art school, though to make this work I will raise the babies during the week while working nights, freelance and weekends and in addition I have to carry 15 hours/semester and get through a 4 year degree in 2 years. I end up owing ch4rm child support; I get more maintenance (alimony) money up front to go to school but this means he won't pay me maintenance for long. I'm in the process of learning about buying condos and mortgages and taxes and such, though for now until our house sells ch4rm and I will be 'nesting' - the children will live here in the house and he and I will take turns being here with them and then staying elsewhere.
Well I did say I wanted to be out in the world, didn't I? ;P No bleachers for me, no sir - I'll really be out there on the court now!
I am not happy, I'm not sad, and I'm both - you understand. Mostly I am proud of both of us; contrary to everything we've heard and been told, ch4rm and I HAVE divorced amiably.
I am looking forward brightly to the future with my little alt!family and a growing new self, but for now?
I deserve a nap before I have to go make dinner.
- Ch4rm's coworker fought with his wife and proved her crazy in order to raise his son alone.
- Rabbit's wife was thrown in jail for keying his car... with her eldest son.
- My parents engaged in something like 7 years of constant fighting in the courts.
- A friend spent ten thousand dollars by the end of hers.
- The school secretary is still trying to get money owed her from her bully of a deadbeat ex.
In 3 hours, ch4rm and I negotiated the terms of our divorce - no fighting, no yelling, no crying, no accusations, no hysterics. Just two adults respecting each other's past service and future dreams, determined to work together in friendship.
We signed the papers and now it's done.
Generally we each got less than we wanted but more than we thought we would while retaining what was most important to each of us.
I will go to art school, though to make this work I will raise the babies during the week while working nights, freelance and weekends and in addition I have to carry 15 hours/semester and get through a 4 year degree in 2 years. I end up owing ch4rm child support; I get more maintenance (alimony) money up front to go to school but this means he won't pay me maintenance for long. I'm in the process of learning about buying condos and mortgages and taxes and such, though for now until our house sells ch4rm and I will be 'nesting' - the children will live here in the house and he and I will take turns being here with them and then staying elsewhere.
Well I did say I wanted to be out in the world, didn't I? ;P No bleachers for me, no sir - I'll really be out there on the court now!
I am not happy, I'm not sad, and I'm both - you understand. Mostly I am proud of both of us; contrary to everything we've heard and been told, ch4rm and I HAVE divorced amiably.
I am looking forward brightly to the future with my little alt!family and a growing new self, but for now?
I deserve a nap before I have to go make dinner.