hello my friend, we meet again
Wow, I've really been neglecting my LJ duties, haven't I? I used to write every day and now I'm lucky if I write once a week... gosh, I guess my priorities have just changed since college started.
Well, let's see. How has my life been the past 3 months..... hmm.. *ponders*
Obviously, I had an amazing summer, all because of an amazing guy that I spent the last month of it with. I'll never forget the memories, or that summer. And I wish things were the way they used to be.... but they aren't, and I don't know if they will ever be that way again. He left for college, 2 1/2 hours away from me, and things are just so different... and it kills me. But you know, after the first month and a half or so of struggling to even maintain a friendship, it feels like things between us are getting better. I feel like we're getting closer, even though we're so far away. Does that make sense?
For the whole month of September, there were so many problems with us, I can't even begin to explain it... for two whole weeks, I cried. Every day. At least once. I was so depressed, because I felt like a piece of me was ripped away, and stomped on. I felt like I lost something so dear to me, and I couldn't do anything to savor it. We fought at least once a week, over stupid things. I think he was jealous to some extent, and so was I... does that mean he DID care about me? I just felt like everything that was so perfect was falling apart with every heartbeat and every eye blink..
But lately.. I feel like there's a LITTLE bit of hope.. we're starting to talk again like we used to over the summer when everything was so perfect, euphoric even. He makes me laugh, cheers me up when I'm sad, and is the only person who seems to be there for me whenever I need someone to talk to... and always has been. I saw him over Thanksgiving break, and even though it was for a few hours, it was the best few hours in a long time. I don't know. Christmas break is in a few days..... I guess I'll just have to wait it out and see how it goes. I'll still wait for him, because he's still worth it.. How do I know? Because everytime I see him sign on, my heart drops. Everytime I talk to him I still get butterflies, and a smile that never fades. He still amazes me, and I'm willing to bet that I'll wait forever.. or at least until I know.
Hm. Alright, well, school sucks. I hate college. haha.... probably mainly because I go to a community college, and everywhere I turn it's somebody I went to school with. And THAT, my friend, is not a good thing. I hated high school and most of the people that went there, so basically, it's high school reincarnated. My classes aren't TOO bad, so I guess that's alright. We're done on Wednesday, and then we don't have to go back until like the 24th of January... so I'm pretty pumped. =D
Ehhh..... on the friendship category, it's alright.. but it could be better. I've got some friends, but I realy only hang out with a few. And most of the time, I'm doing nothing.. So I'm hoping next semester I'll make some more friends that I can hang out with. I mean, I've made friends at school but I don't really hang out with a lot of them outside of school... except maybe like......3 or 4.. and 1 of which hardly ever talks to me anymore, for reasons I don't know. We used to be so close and now BOOM we hardly ever talk. He's too cool for me all of a sudden. Eh, whatev. I'm over it.
I guess that's it really... my life's pretty boring. :)
Well, let's see. How has my life been the past 3 months..... hmm.. *ponders*
Obviously, I had an amazing summer, all because of an amazing guy that I spent the last month of it with. I'll never forget the memories, or that summer. And I wish things were the way they used to be.... but they aren't, and I don't know if they will ever be that way again. He left for college, 2 1/2 hours away from me, and things are just so different... and it kills me. But you know, after the first month and a half or so of struggling to even maintain a friendship, it feels like things between us are getting better. I feel like we're getting closer, even though we're so far away. Does that make sense?
For the whole month of September, there were so many problems with us, I can't even begin to explain it... for two whole weeks, I cried. Every day. At least once. I was so depressed, because I felt like a piece of me was ripped away, and stomped on. I felt like I lost something so dear to me, and I couldn't do anything to savor it. We fought at least once a week, over stupid things. I think he was jealous to some extent, and so was I... does that mean he DID care about me? I just felt like everything that was so perfect was falling apart with every heartbeat and every eye blink..
But lately.. I feel like there's a LITTLE bit of hope.. we're starting to talk again like we used to over the summer when everything was so perfect, euphoric even. He makes me laugh, cheers me up when I'm sad, and is the only person who seems to be there for me whenever I need someone to talk to... and always has been. I saw him over Thanksgiving break, and even though it was for a few hours, it was the best few hours in a long time. I don't know. Christmas break is in a few days..... I guess I'll just have to wait it out and see how it goes. I'll still wait for him, because he's still worth it.. How do I know? Because everytime I see him sign on, my heart drops. Everytime I talk to him I still get butterflies, and a smile that never fades. He still amazes me, and I'm willing to bet that I'll wait forever.. or at least until I know.
Hm. Alright, well, school sucks. I hate college. haha.... probably mainly because I go to a community college, and everywhere I turn it's somebody I went to school with. And THAT, my friend, is not a good thing. I hated high school and most of the people that went there, so basically, it's high school reincarnated. My classes aren't TOO bad, so I guess that's alright. We're done on Wednesday, and then we don't have to go back until like the 24th of January... so I'm pretty pumped. =D
Ehhh..... on the friendship category, it's alright.. but it could be better. I've got some friends, but I realy only hang out with a few. And most of the time, I'm doing nothing.. So I'm hoping next semester I'll make some more friends that I can hang out with. I mean, I've made friends at school but I don't really hang out with a lot of them outside of school... except maybe like......3 or 4.. and 1 of which hardly ever talks to me anymore, for reasons I don't know. We used to be so close and now BOOM we hardly ever talk. He's too cool for me all of a sudden. Eh, whatev. I'm over it.
I guess that's it really... my life's pretty boring. :)