interviews & life choices
What a whirlwind it’s been lately (and continues to be).
I had a series of really promising interviews with a foundation that distributes government money for health research. It ended up being a choice between me and one other candidate. The other candidate got the job! *Sigh* I really wanted it. It’s actually the first time ever that I didn’t get a job I interviewed for. Oh well.
So now it’s really nuts at work - several big projects on tight timelines, we are still short staffed, and our office is moving in the middle of it. Chaotic. I don’t have the time or energy to look for more job opportunities right now…
…so Adrian and I decided I should just stick it out and we can get to work on making baby #2 asap. Makes sense. Weighing the pros and cons, the only really big con about sticking it out is that my workplace is totally dysfunctional which leads to much personal frustration. But the people are alright, the benefits are excellent, the pay is decent, they top up your pay on mat leave, it’s a stable job, and I can walk to work. Not that bad, all in all.
So I think I can let everything else roll off my back knowing that it’s just a stepping stone towards other life goals. The stability will be good to maintain. So I guess I’m in a bit of a status-quo mode for now, which I’m not entirely comfortable with. I can do better!
But I’m not going to allow myself to feel bitter about it. I’m going to make the best of it. I refuse to be part of the organization’s problems. At the same time I have to accept the fact that I can’t fix them either.
My past two years of cognitive-behavioral therapy have really taught me how to choose my battles. Some things are not worth the stress or worry. Sometimes you need to do the best you can with what you have. Knowing what you want in life really helps. And I want a happy family and time to share with them without feeling stressed. I’m already there, but now I want to make it grow.