May 02, 2004 04:14
I came across this excellent journal, where the owner was going on about gays and lesbians. And it was a whole new side to the topic. It was very well written. Definitely college level, if not above.
That makes me wonder what we base our opinions on. I mean, you can base your whole life on ONE moral. And then you discover a new side to that debate, and you begin to question everything you've done in your life thus far.
It's like when you think you'll never do something. Something that you've always been told not to do, or it's bad for you. And then suddenly you just want to do it. Whether it be drinking or getting high, or whatever. And you never in a million years thought that you would do something as stupid and as uncalled for as that, but you do. Or, maybe you just want to. Then, you don't know what to do about it. You could try it, hoping to not get addicted. Then, you can take into consideration what your friends would think. What would happen if your family discovered what you were really doing? You can't always hide these things now can you?
It's weird about feelings. You care for someone so much that you are afraid to do something -even if it's to yourself- because you don't want to hurt that person, by harming yourself. You're scared that they will find out what you've really been doing, then they think differently of you. And maybe they won't trust you? You know what they think about the topic, but it's so addicting, that you really can't just -stop- it. That can come off as scary.
Then people tell you to be yourself. And even if you are yourself, they tell you you're not. Why? Because they think you are something different. There's nothing you can do about these people. Maybe you just get them out of your life? Maybe they just let themselves out of yours on their own. They make up their own excuses about things you did, things you took from them. Not in a material way, necessarily. But in a mental way, I guess you could say. They think it's no longer theirs, when really you don't have the power to take anything away from them. They need to let it go for you to have it.
Well, that's all. Though, I should probably mention that the guy whose journal I was refering to, is gay. And that he came off as though he wasn't in favour of homosexuals.
Hope you enjoyed that. It's early, and I haven't slept since 10 AM Saturday morning.
Leigh