Only thirty six more days left...
Till I meet with my family in Florida and I'm already feeling apprehension.
Each time I've ventured down to my homeland (Hyuck hyuck, I make it sound like a yearly pilgrimage) I intentionally leave them out of the loop. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to become estranged--well maybe I do for certain reasons--I just fear going through all that repugnant bullshit again of family gossip and whodunit.
I escaped the whining, the bitching, the lack of motivation, the less than neccessary yelling, but why oh why does the good and bright of it all have to look so appealing. How the hell is it possible to see from underneath all that black crust?
Whenever I think of my floridian family I think: Bars, smoke, alchohol, deception, corruption, drugs, bad country music, fights, bad Jerry springer episodes, loneliness, idiocy, and all around trailer park trash eccentric.
But then, beneath it all, I think of the family BBQ's and my relatives sitting around a rickety table on barely standing chairs, smoking, laughing, drinking various beers and fruit-somethings, while the kids are all running around in the backyard.
Maybe, just maybe, I'm being to harsh with my recollections. I have been guilty of pulling up the worst sides of things in the past. I can only hope that my short stay there won't leave any dirt on me--I'd much rather just bask in the glow of family warmth and leave those troubles to the dust.
Is it wrong to try to briefly quiet someone else's problems? A wise man once told me that yes, you should express your concern (which I do), but your own problems come first.
Even if my family seems a bit tainted in my memory, my friends certainly aren't.
Kenny, Branden, Damion, Nori, Nate, Maribell (crazy as she is), Robin, Anna, Kyle, Gunny, Zooey, and all the rest that I can or can't remember-- You are what always brings me back. I would go into a long essay on how much I adore all of you but, I'm not too good with mushy stuff. ( I embarrass too easily.)
I can't tell you how much I think about all of you and how it always brings me a bit of happiness when I'm feeling upset. No one may care who you guys are except me, but I'm fine with it. You are what makes me happy and that's all I need, no one needs to know.
=3
Each time I've ventured down to my homeland (Hyuck hyuck, I make it sound like a yearly pilgrimage) I intentionally leave them out of the loop. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to become estranged--well maybe I do for certain reasons--I just fear going through all that repugnant bullshit again of family gossip and whodunit.
I escaped the whining, the bitching, the lack of motivation, the less than neccessary yelling, but why oh why does the good and bright of it all have to look so appealing. How the hell is it possible to see from underneath all that black crust?
Whenever I think of my floridian family I think: Bars, smoke, alchohol, deception, corruption, drugs, bad country music, fights, bad Jerry springer episodes, loneliness, idiocy, and all around trailer park trash eccentric.
But then, beneath it all, I think of the family BBQ's and my relatives sitting around a rickety table on barely standing chairs, smoking, laughing, drinking various beers and fruit-somethings, while the kids are all running around in the backyard.
Maybe, just maybe, I'm being to harsh with my recollections. I have been guilty of pulling up the worst sides of things in the past. I can only hope that my short stay there won't leave any dirt on me--I'd much rather just bask in the glow of family warmth and leave those troubles to the dust.
Is it wrong to try to briefly quiet someone else's problems? A wise man once told me that yes, you should express your concern (which I do), but your own problems come first.
Even if my family seems a bit tainted in my memory, my friends certainly aren't.
Kenny, Branden, Damion, Nori, Nate, Maribell (crazy as she is), Robin, Anna, Kyle, Gunny, Zooey, and all the rest that I can or can't remember-- You are what always brings me back. I would go into a long essay on how much I adore all of you but, I'm not too good with mushy stuff. ( I embarrass too easily.)
I can't tell you how much I think about all of you and how it always brings me a bit of happiness when I'm feeling upset. No one may care who you guys are except me, but I'm fine with it. You are what makes me happy and that's all I need, no one needs to know.
=3