(no subject)
i think i'm going to quit band. i don't want to leave the few people there i actually consider my friends, but i also want to get a leg up on my rowing career and make sure i'm there all head season. i feel guilty because my attitude basically is if its drumline against crew, crew wins. which i criticized kayla for. whatever, im dumb shes right. im never going to get a scholarship for my mediocre bass playing and if i didnt i wouldnt accept because i dont like playing it anyway. crew could take me so far if i would just strap on a pair and quit band, its not even important to me, its not fun anymore. actually I FREAKING HATE IT AND ITS SCREWING UP MY LIFE! but then theres aaron and kayla and kayla and nick and landon, who i wouldnt see nearly as much. im so torn right now. i know what the smart decision is, and i wish i were tough enough to make it. maybe i'll just do pit. i'll still have to miss a day of rowing, but if i put all of my effort into the four days i'm there, it could work. i also dont want to be carrying that freaking drum. like 7/8ths of the reason i wanted one was so i could save my freaking back. i feel sorry for clay who is being mislead if he thinks hes getting off the bassline. he's too good to stay. seriously. but i'm really glad its him on one and not some other kid who i'd hate. LONG LIVE BIGSBY ESQUIRE III!!!