Life is more than a series of moments
I'm okay.
My own car-> bought by me
My own place-> paid for by me
A second chance-> a gift from God
No. I haven't forgotten the past, I haven't forgotten anything; it just doesn't haunt me anymore. I was empty- clutching desperately at anything to bring me comfort. I had no idea who I was. The future looked rather bleak, I could predict the path that I would take. Dating someone that degraded me, “friends” who were aiding in my self-destruction, pouring me drink after drink, and last but not least my own drive to obliterate my sense of self, which would kill me. I was a hollow person, there was no passion, no heart, no life or belief in anything of value. Nothing I did had any real permanence or meaning; I had no reason to live, no reason to die. I was in a state of ultimate boredom and depression. I did not care what I did to myself and could not see what it did to those around me.
I do not regret any of it. It has only shaped me into the person that I am today.
I am. I exist. I live. I love. I breathe, and no one can take that away.
I can't explain how badly it hurts to watch those you care about destroy themselves, and even more to leave others behind. Permanently.
There is no going back. I cannot and will not. If it's me or you, I choose me.
My own car-> bought by me
My own place-> paid for by me
A second chance-> a gift from God
No. I haven't forgotten the past, I haven't forgotten anything; it just doesn't haunt me anymore. I was empty- clutching desperately at anything to bring me comfort. I had no idea who I was. The future looked rather bleak, I could predict the path that I would take. Dating someone that degraded me, “friends” who were aiding in my self-destruction, pouring me drink after drink, and last but not least my own drive to obliterate my sense of self, which would kill me. I was a hollow person, there was no passion, no heart, no life or belief in anything of value. Nothing I did had any real permanence or meaning; I had no reason to live, no reason to die. I was in a state of ultimate boredom and depression. I did not care what I did to myself and could not see what it did to those around me.
I do not regret any of it. It has only shaped me into the person that I am today.
I am. I exist. I live. I love. I breathe, and no one can take that away.
I can't explain how badly it hurts to watch those you care about destroy themselves, and even more to leave others behind. Permanently.
There is no going back. I cannot and will not. If it's me or you, I choose me.