"Chop off the head, check." I nodded, shooting a look in the back like I didn't already know he'd be packing serious weaponage. I'd be no good to this fight without Gunn, tonight. Not unless I wanted to papercut the demon to death with the few books I'd brought from school.
We were, like, a team! A very working-together, platonic team. A-and it was time to stop thinking of that. Yep.
"Cordy sounded weird on the phone," I said after a beat, "Kinda breathless. Did Wes say she was okay?"
“Guess Cordy was kinda breathless from the vision. Kinda weird Wes didn’t call you huh?”
Now he mentioned it? I guessed it was pretty weird. Cordy didn't usually call anybody once she'd had a vision - something about her being more cranky than usual, though it wasn't like I'd noticed or anything. "Maybe he was out?" I offered shrugging, practically squirming in my seat as I realised we were almost close to Cordy's park.
"You ready?" I asked him, though that was a silly question. Gunn was always ready, no matter what, that was what I liked about him.
Maybe he was out. I guess that might be a possibility. Then again, don't Cordy usually call him right after a vision? Unless it's really a big one and action needs to be taken. But then, why would Wes call me? Could've gotten in just after she called Buffy. But Wes told me there was time left.
Totally weird, if you ask me. 'Cause, no one does so whatever. Shrugged it off and concentrated on gettin' to the park. There was a demon to be killed. Now that was more my beef. Better then sittin' 'round all day watchin' Wes read, Cordy pretend to file and listen to them bicker. Kay, gotta admit, that last part is damn amusin' at times.
Parked the car near the side entrance of the park and nodded at Buffy. "You betcha, just need to get my axe from the back." My boys make me that axe. So my lucky axe, never go into a fight without it. Kinda my mantra. Like Wes and his tea, and Buffy and her stake and Cordy and her...shoppin'. Grabbin' the axe, I nodded over at Buffy and grinned.
His axe. I grinned at that. I guess we all had out 'thing'. Gunn's just happened to be his axe, mine was my stake, Wes' was books and stuff and Cordelia's? Well, it kinda varied with the week. Last week it had been the little stuffed teddy bear that Wes had got her, the week before some little charm she'd got out of a machine somewhere. Mostly, though? Cordelia's, I guessed, was shopping.
"Time to get the son of a bitch."
I grinned back at him, tossing my book bag for school in the back of his truck and grabbing my stake. Maybe it didn't work on demons as well as it did on vampires but it still hurt a hell of a lot getting it shoved somewhere that wasn't pleasant.
We entered the park in silence, our movements fluid and in time with one anothers. There wasn't many people around this time at night but enough for a brief snack if some demon wanted one. My spidey senses - now completely doing the wacky - pointed us over to where a clearing lay beyond some bushes and I frowned. "I think that's us." I whispered, neatly sidestepping some schmo who almost ran me over as he power-walked.
We cleared the ground between the entrance of the park and the clearing in a couple of seconds flat and for a moment, I wondered what the hell we'd walked into. It was like Coupledonia or something, one of those big gazebo things, with a guy in a bright yellow suit singing and many couples, dancing. So much for my spidey senses.
"Uh, what?" I noticed Gunn shoving his axe behind his back, gave him a puzzled look. Cordelia's demon was here? "You think we're in the wrong pl--"
I didn't get to finish my sentence. Something shoved into me from the side and I went flying right into Gunn, making an 'oomph' sound as our bodies twisted somehow and I landed on top of him. Hard.
I winced, realising almost a second too late that I was lying on top of him, his body warm and hard in all the right places-- And then I blushed, though thankfully I didn't have to blush very long because I was being barked at the guy who'd been on stage. The guy who, on closer look, was actually a green demon unless his make up artist was just that good.
"--been organised for months and the protection we pay are like gorillas!"
I blinked, extracted myself from Gunn, and held out a hand, pulling him up. "Uhm, what?"
"You." He frowned, "Sidestepping my entire security system. I don't know if you've noticed, plumcheeks, but this is a private party. Couples only."
First of all-- Plumcheeks? And second of all, on noticing the screens I guessed this was a private party. In a park that just happened to have Cordelia's demon somewhere. In a park that I wasn't leaving until I found it. "We're, uhm... We're looking for a demon?" I said, though really, it sounded lame.
"I see that judging by the weaponry," the green guy pointed out, "But I think you underestimate the party. This is a strictly non-violence kinda shindig - you get me? Which is why you guys got tackled by Lou."
He pointed towards a demon - the one that had shunted into me - and I frowned, "That was him?"
"Hey, you're the ones who showed up with weapons," he said, obviously defending himself, "Now if you'd showed up alone--"
"We're not a couple." I told him, shaking my head, "We're just... We're friends." And this was getting way more uncomfortable by the minute so I was going to shut up and let Gunn do the talking. Yep.
Yo, what the fuck? What’s goin’ on here? One moment we’s sneakin’ through the park out to get this demon sob. The next we’re in the middle of that show Wes seems to like to watch on the BBC. Somethin’ with strict coming to dance or whatever. And there was this green demon dude in charge of it all?
Tried to hide the axe behind my back, but the next thing I know, some guy just hurls outa nowhere and tackles Buffy to the ground. And me with it. Not that I mind Buffy on top of me, like I woulda say that, but… Ow? Girl can pack a punch and the dude too. By the time I’m scramblin’ up, she’s babblin’ away in that Buffy kinda way.
Glancin over at ‘Lou’. I raise a threatenin’ brow, just in case the guy decides to tackle babblin’ Buffy again. Aint no one gonna get way with somethin’ like that. Not that Buffy needs protection, kinda, still. Y’know? And suddenly there was talk about couples, or couplin’ I dunno. Kinda glad I’m dark, cause they sure a hell don’t see my blush now. “We aint not couple,” I agreed, frownin’ at this green demon dude.
“Of course not, hot chocolate,” he said, rollin’ his eyes. “Cause the vibes I’m getting’ of you two? Very much scream ‘not interested’. “
He’s bein’ sarcastic right? Been ‘round Cordy and Wes long enough to recognize that shit. Even if they’re worse. “I don’t think there’s a demon to fight here Buffy,” I muttered, leanin’ in close to her. “Kinda weird, cause Cordy’s visions are never wrong. Maybe we’re at the wrong spot?”
Great. I glared at the green demon guy, wishing I could pound the crap out of him right now. Not only was Gunn uncomfortable? But he'd made it pretty clear that he wasn't interested in me at all.
"Of course not, hot chocolate. 'Cause the vibes I'm getting of you two? Very much scream 'not interested'."
I frowned. What was he saying now? That Gunn was interested? It wasn't like he'd told me or anything... And yeah, Cordy had hinted that maybe he did sorta like me but this was Cordy. She'd told me the pizza delivery guy had the hots for me last week and the guy was seven shades of eww.
"I don't think there's a demon to fight here Buffy. Kinda weird, cause Cordy's visions are never wrong. Maybe we're at the wrong spot?"
"Maybe," I conceded, still staring at the green guy. He kept looking at me like he expected a lightbulb to go on over my head or whatever. It was weird. "You wouldn't have had any demon trouble around here tonight?" I asked, "Something in need of beheading?"
Green Guy smiled, "Not unless you count Lou when he's cranky. You're sure you two won't join us?"
"Uh, no." I shook my head, grabbing Gunn's arm and dragging him backwards, "But thanks anyway."
I didn't know whether to be upset or embarassed or what as we walked away. I tried to make light of it a couple of times, make a joke or even say something about demon dancing competitions but everything I came up with sounded trite. We ain't no couple.
"Maybe we should call Cordy and... I dunno, see what the what is?" I asked, avoiding his gaze. Stupid green demon. Stupid gorilla guy. Hell, stupid Gunn. Damn right we were no couple, but it wasn't my fault, was it? Not that it was his either but-- "Maybe we should just head back to the hotel." I said, though I was now itching for a fight. I needed something to hit. Hard.
Dunno what the dudes friggen problem was, but he kept looken at us as though he thought we’d see the light at the end of the tunnel or somethin’. His red eyes kept dartin’ from Buffy to me and then he got this exasperated look that woulda rivaled Wes’. Or even Cordy’s. Though to be honest, no one could look at you as exasperated as Wes. Must be why both Buffy and me pushed that button more often then not. Was just fun to watch. Wonder what Cordy would do if she ever found out we liked makin’ that little vein on his forehead appear. Was gonna explode one of them days, which was less I guess.
“No we aint joinin’,” I agreed, letting Buffy drag me away. “Sides, I don’t dance this kinda shit.”
“Oh,” Green guy said, dramatically puttin’ his hand over his chest. Don’t even know if that’s where his heart was, this was a demon after all. “You wound me!” He said dramatically and then winked. “You two love chuckles known where to find me.”
“We aint a couple!” I stated again, wonderin’ why I was protestin’ so hard. Wasn’t that kinda what I wanted all along? Fuck, Wes is right. I’m such a coward when it comes to that. Maybe he was right and I shoulda…what he call it again? ‘woe her’? But the way she protested here, made it all kinds of clear she don’t want us to be…more then friends.
When she finally stopped dragging me, plenty of longs aways from the dance party, I slipped my axe from under my coat and rested it on the floor. Damn, all worked up and nothin' to hit. That’s all kinds of not good. Looks like Buffy’s just itchen for a fight too.
“I say we call her Majesty or Wes and then go find us some sewer entrance. Gotta be some vamps hidin’ out in there as usual, I’m kinda in need to get rid of this adrenaline pumpin’ through my veins. What’s about you?”
Please say yes. Nothin’ more fun then dustin’ a few vamps in tandem.
I'd had my fair share of embarassing moments. Most of them - and I could admit this now that Xander wasn't around to ridicule me to hell and back over it - were due to the fact that my foot liked to live in my mouth.
Literally.
But others - and I was counting tonight in that little poll - was down to the vampires and demons of this world. Like that night I'd had to limp home practically shirtless because of that demon with the claws. Cringe much?
This was worse.
First, we barge in on some sponsored couple dance type thing. Then, Gunn makes it abundantly clear that tiny blonde bundles of energy are not his thing-- And we're left standing at his truck, both itching for something to fight.
“I say we call her Majesty or Wes and then go find us some sewer entrance. Gotta be some vamps hidin’ out in there as usual, I’m kinda in need to get rid of this adrenaline pumpin’ through my veins. What’s about you?”
"Sure, I could use something to hit." I nodded, biting my lip to keep from telling him that there were other ways to get rid of that type of adrenalin.
Sure, Buffy, I thought dryly, why not take out an ad in the LA Gazette that just tells him how much of a great-whore you are... Great.
"We could always try dancing our adrenalin away." As soon as the words were out of my mouth I regretted them. For one, Gunn could take them completely the wrong way and think I meant the horizontal type of dance-- Or he could think I was suggesting we, like, be a couple or-- Oh my God.
"So, sewer?" I asked, wincing as I realised my voice had got all high-pitched and squinky. Quickly, I turned away from him, hoping he'd call Cordelia. No way could I talk to her without her noticing that there was something seriously up with the Dating Inept One herself.
Alrighty. That’s my girl. Gonna hit something and then everythin’ will not be with the weird anymore. Cause I dunno what’s up with that green dude and his ramblin’s but it sure as hell made the mood between me and the Buffster very weird. Gotta be the couple thing. Man, she’s probably freakin’ out over that. Wonder if I should tell her it didn’t mean nothin'. Which would be a total lie, but if it makes her feel better…
“Sure thing, I’ll call Queen C,” I mutter, pattin’ my pocket to find the cellphone Wes and Cordy insist we take with us at all friggen times. Cordy more then Wes, cause nine outta ten times he forgets the thing too. Or he forgets to switch it off. Which yeah, I’m not gonna remind him of it, Cause then I might not be able to listen into him and Cordy doin’ the whole…what he call it? Oh yeah. ‘Cordelia, we can’t snog now, a client may walk in. Where are you dragging me off to?’. Man, I aint never gonna look at that closet the same way again. And snoggin’? I seriously need to teach my man some cool words.
As I pull my cellphone out with a chuckle, I blink at her words. “Dancin’?” What she on about? Fuckining hell, women are really confusin’. And unlike Wes I aint got the finesse to roll over and nod while sneakin’ ‘round and do what I want anyway. I think I am anyway. Damn. “I’m not much of a danc-- Oh, yeah, right. Sewers it is.”
Okay, way confused now. If she wants to go dancin', we can go dance I suppose. Would be kinda nice actually. Like a date, only not. Probably the only time I get close to datin’ Buffy Summers, cause she does this little freak whenever something couply is mention. Or I do. Whatever. And what’s wrong with her voice? “You okay there, Buffy?” I ask, dialing the firms number and waintin’ for one of them to pick up. Or, y’k,now, the answering machine. Heh.
He'll call Cordy and we'll go off, get our fighty on and work out our issues that way. And then things between us won't be so weird, right? Right. Except me, Buffy-with-the-big-mouth can't seem to accept that. I'm standing there, tapping my stake against the top of my thigh, and waiting for Cordy to answer just so Gunn'll stop looking at me like that, like he's waiting for me to--
"Dancin'? I'm not much of a danc--"
Oh, I did not-- I did not just tell him I wanted to go-- "So, sewers?"
"Oh, yeah, right. Sewers it is."
Did I just blow that? Because I think I just blew that. What with the high-voice and the waiting for Cordelia and the nervousness. I don't get it. I really don't get it. Back in Sunnydale, there were... There were a few guys interested. Sure, I didn't have time for them, what with being head over heels in love with the vampire who tried to kill me once we got horizontal with each other but-- I noticed them! I even flirted back a couple of times when I was trying to convince myself that Angel and I were really through and that no amount of patching up was going to work between us, 'cause hello, evil! And there was that--
"You okay there, Buffy?"
"What? I'm fine!" I tell him, my voice not even attempting to return to normal, "I'm just... You know how I get if I don't get my slay on, I-- Look, you just catch me up once you've talked to Cordy, okay?"
And I turn and stalk off in the direction of the sewers, mentally groaning at what I've just done. Why in the name of hell can't I just go up to him and say, 'hey, I like you, maybe wanna catch a movie sometime?' What, would it kill me? And what the hell is with the protesting so much that we're not an item! God, even Green Guy picked up on my issues before I did.
I blew that. I totally blew that. And now I made things between Gunn and I weird. I hate my whole life.
If she’s okay, then Wes is the coolest guy in Los Angeles, and Cordelia is married to some rich dude. And since they’re not, I’m guessin’ she aint fine. Risin’ my eyebrow, I watcher her nearly run off toward the sewers like a arrow outa bow. Somthin’ I did? Probably, and I can’t believe I’m gonna say this, but I need to talk to Wes ‘bout this. Women make no sense, but since he managed to snatch one, he musta done something right.
….We help the hopeless. We’re currently not able to answer the phone….
I rolled my eyes at Cordelia’s perky message on the answering machine. Guess they was busy. Wonder if it involved a closet this time. Naw, probably not. Probably Cordy havin’ a big ass headache again and Wes anxiously hovein’ nearby to make sure she was alright. And we all knew she wasn’t. Knew Wes was getting way with the worry ‘bout that.
“Hey guys, Gunn here. That demon thing in your vision was a bust. Turned out to me some couple party thing whatever. Buffy and me ran away quickly and we’re headin’ to the sewers now to get our slay on. Dig? We’ll be back later, we’re…fine.”
Yeah. Totally fine.
Sighin’, I clicked of the phone and let it slip back into my pocket. Then I, picked up my axe and quickly followed Buffy to the sewers. Maybe she’s all better after we hit some thing. I know I usually feel better afterward. Unless that thing got to hit me, then I was just pissed. “Yo, Buffy,” I called into the sewer entrance. Didn’t want some kinda karate chop in my neck just cause I forgot to announce myself. Not gonna fall for that again.
The last place on earth I thought I'd be tonight, was under LA in sewers so smelly that they put Sunnydale to shame. Not that I'm totally against sewers or anything. I mean, sure, they're foul-smelling, rank and filled with enough demons and rats to fill a small cesspool but-- What was my point again?
Sighing, I walk a little way along one of the tunnels, careful not to go to far. Not that I don't think I can handle demons or rats or anything but-- Walking the thirty blocks back to the hotel when I could be riding in that oh-so-uncomfortable silence with Gunn? Not exactly on my list of things to do tonight.
“Yo, Buffy.”
I smile when I hear his voice, remembering almost a moment too late that I'm mad at him. Or mad at us. Or-- Maybe I'm just mad at me for not knowing how to react around the guy. It wasn't like being with Angel prepared me for a normal relationship or anything.
"Down here," I call, taking a step back and finding myself faced with-- Oh God, torso of Gunn, his shirt riding up a little as he climbs down the steps. Stop staring!
"Not picking up anything yet," I murmur, looking away from him. At least it's relatively dark down here, I think, glad that he probably couldn't see me blush, "Anything else from Cordy?"
Down here, she said. I almost laughed out loud at that, cause where else would she be if not down there. Cause, if she aint was down there, I’d be worried and was gonna have to call the search troops. But I kept myself in check, considerin’ the strange vibes I was getting between us. Dunno what that’s all about. So I shrugged and made my way down the ladder into the damn sewer.
“Man, this place stinks,” I muttered, jumpin’ down from the last sport. Some sewers were like way worse then others. Luckily we don’t have Wes with us or we’d be in a worse place. The guy seems to magically drawn to the worst smellin’ ones, only to fall into the water. Much to Cordelia’s delight. Oh wait no, that was Buffy and me laughing our asses off the. After we made sure they was alright, lecture from Barbie aside.
“Nothin’?” I asked, a bit disappointed as I hefted the axe. We started in a random direction, since we really didn’t have - gasp we heathens - a plan. “Oh them, I got the machine. You have reached, we help the hopeless, blah blah blah. Bet they’re inpsectin’ the closet again or whatever. I left a message that the stint was a bust and we was gonna hit the sewers.”
I paused and looked over my shoulder at her while we kept movin’ deeper into the sewers. “So? Still nothing’?” And yeah, there was a bit of hope in my voice that she got something. I just needed to get rid of this pent up shit, and I knew she felt it too. We got al ready to fight and ended up getting’ blabbed at by some green dude.
Nothing from Cordy? She was usually hanging off the end of the phone after every vision, checking to make sure-- No, wait, that was Wesley. Cordy had become pretty adept at knowing when the bad was squished, what with the reduced pain and all.
Which led me to my next point: Wesley wasn't hanging off the phone?
"Y'know, all these visions," I observed, stepping round the corner carefully, "And have you noticed that a good five or something these past few weeks have been total busts?"
Which, hey, if Cordy and Wes wanted to make out in the closet, I was all for that. But being sent on a phoney-mission with no phoney-demon to kill at the end of it was starting to piss me off.
“So? Still nothing’?”
"Even less than the last time you asked me," I murmured, knowing something was nagging at me but I couldn't figure out what. A second later and there was an almighty screeching noise that forced both Gunn and I to our knees, our hands clamped over our ears, and for a moment? I thought maybe my eardrums were bleeding because--
"What the hell was that?" I asked, glancing up at Gunn who looked about as impressed as me to be knee-deep in sewage.
We got our answer a second later when a large, hulking demon ambled along the sewer tunnel and screeched again, robbing us of most of our basic motor functions.
I cried out, my eardrums close to popping now, and struggled to get to my feet knowing that it so very wasn't happening until it got a little too close to Gunn for comfort and slammed its fist down - forgetting to screech. Gunn rolled and the thing narrowly missed hitting his head. I could only admire his ability to get back to his feet after that little headtrip.
"Here!" I yelled, tossing him my stake. I wasn't sure where his axe had gone but my guess? Was that the big hulking demon thing wasn't going to be all polite and wait for us to find it.
We were, like, a team! A very working-together, platonic team. A-and it was time to stop thinking of that. Yep.
"Cordy sounded weird on the phone," I said after a beat, "Kinda breathless. Did Wes say she was okay?"
“Guess Cordy was kinda breathless from the vision. Kinda weird Wes didn’t call you huh?”
Now he mentioned it? I guessed it was pretty weird. Cordy didn't usually call anybody once she'd had a vision - something about her being more cranky than usual, though it wasn't like I'd noticed or anything. "Maybe he was out?" I offered shrugging, practically squirming in my seat as I realised we were almost close to Cordy's park.
"You ready?" I asked him, though that was a silly question. Gunn was always ready, no matter what, that was what I liked about him.
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Totally weird, if you ask me. 'Cause, no one does so whatever. Shrugged it off and concentrated on gettin' to the park. There was a demon to be killed. Now that was more my beef. Better then sittin' 'round all day watchin' Wes read, Cordy pretend to file and listen to them bicker. Kay, gotta admit, that last part is damn amusin' at times.
Parked the car near the side entrance of the park and nodded at Buffy. "You betcha, just need to get my axe from the back." My boys make me that axe. So my lucky axe, never go into a fight without it. Kinda my mantra. Like Wes and his tea, and Buffy and her stake and Cordy and her...shoppin'. Grabbin' the axe, I nodded over at Buffy and grinned.
"Time to get the son of a bitch."
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"Time to get the son of a bitch."
I grinned back at him, tossing my book bag for school in the back of his truck and grabbing my stake. Maybe it didn't work on demons as well as it did on vampires but it still hurt a hell of a lot getting it shoved somewhere that wasn't pleasant.
We entered the park in silence, our movements fluid and in time with one anothers. There wasn't many people around this time at night but enough for a brief snack if some demon wanted one. My spidey senses - now completely doing the wacky - pointed us over to where a clearing lay beyond some bushes and I frowned. "I think that's us." I whispered, neatly sidestepping some schmo who almost ran me over as he power-walked.
We cleared the ground between the entrance of the park and the clearing in a couple of seconds flat and for a moment, I wondered what the hell we'd walked into. It was like Coupledonia or something, one of those big gazebo things, with a guy in a bright yellow suit singing and many couples, dancing. So much for my spidey senses.
"Uh, what?" I noticed Gunn shoving his axe behind his back, gave him a puzzled look. Cordelia's demon was here? "You think we're in the wrong pl--"
I didn't get to finish my sentence. Something shoved into me from the side and I went flying right into Gunn, making an 'oomph' sound as our bodies twisted somehow and I landed on top of him. Hard.
I winced, realising almost a second too late that I was lying on top of him, his body warm and hard in all the right places-- And then I blushed, though thankfully I didn't have to blush very long because I was being barked at the guy who'd been on stage. The guy who, on closer look, was actually a green demon unless his make up artist was just that good.
"--been organised for months and the protection we pay are like gorillas!"
I blinked, extracted myself from Gunn, and held out a hand, pulling him up. "Uhm, what?"
"You." He frowned, "Sidestepping my entire security system. I don't know if you've noticed, plumcheeks, but this is a private party. Couples only."
First of all-- Plumcheeks? And second of all, on noticing the screens I guessed this was a private party. In a park that just happened to have Cordelia's demon somewhere. In a park that I wasn't leaving until I found it. "We're, uhm... We're looking for a demon?" I said, though really, it sounded lame.
"I see that judging by the weaponry," the green guy pointed out, "But I think you underestimate the party. This is a strictly non-violence kinda shindig - you get me? Which is why you guys got tackled by Lou."
He pointed towards a demon - the one that had shunted into me - and I frowned, "That was him?"
"Hey, you're the ones who showed up with weapons," he said, obviously defending himself, "Now if you'd showed up alone--"
"We're not a couple." I told him, shaking my head, "We're just... We're friends." And this was getting way more uncomfortable by the minute so I was going to shut up and let Gunn do the talking. Yep.
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Tried to hide the axe behind my back, but the next thing I know, some guy just hurls outa nowhere and tackles Buffy to the ground. And me with it. Not that I mind Buffy on top of me, like I woulda say that, but… Ow? Girl can pack a punch and the dude too. By the time I’m scramblin’ up, she’s babblin’ away in that Buffy kinda way.
Glancin over at ‘Lou’. I raise a threatenin’ brow, just in case the guy decides to tackle babblin’ Buffy again. Aint no one gonna get way with somethin’ like that. Not that Buffy needs protection, kinda, still. Y’know?
And suddenly there was talk about couples, or couplin’ I dunno. Kinda glad I’m dark, cause they sure a hell don’t see my blush now. “We aint not couple,” I agreed, frownin’ at this green demon dude.
“Of course not, hot chocolate,” he said, rollin’ his eyes. “Cause the vibes I’m getting’ of you two? Very much scream ‘not interested’. “
He’s bein’ sarcastic right? Been ‘round Cordy and Wes long enough to recognize that shit. Even if they’re worse. “I don’t think there’s a demon to fight here Buffy,” I muttered, leanin’ in close to her. “Kinda weird, cause Cordy’s visions are never wrong. Maybe we’re at the wrong spot?”
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Great. I glared at the green demon guy, wishing I could pound the crap out of him right now. Not only was Gunn uncomfortable? But he'd made it pretty clear that he wasn't interested in me at all.
"Of course not, hot chocolate. 'Cause the vibes I'm getting of you two? Very much scream 'not interested'."
I frowned. What was he saying now? That Gunn was interested? It wasn't like he'd told me or anything... And yeah, Cordy had hinted that maybe he did sorta like me but this was Cordy. She'd told me the pizza delivery guy had the hots for me last week and the guy was seven shades of eww.
"I don't think there's a demon to fight here Buffy. Kinda weird, cause Cordy's visions are never wrong. Maybe we're at the wrong spot?"
"Maybe," I conceded, still staring at the green guy. He kept looking at me like he expected a lightbulb to go on over my head or whatever. It was weird. "You wouldn't have had any demon trouble around here tonight?" I asked, "Something in need of beheading?"
Green Guy smiled, "Not unless you count Lou when he's cranky. You're sure you two won't join us?"
"Uh, no." I shook my head, grabbing Gunn's arm and dragging him backwards, "But thanks anyway."
I didn't know whether to be upset or embarassed or what as we walked away. I tried to make light of it a couple of times, make a joke or even say something about demon dancing competitions but everything I came up with sounded trite. We ain't no couple.
"Maybe we should call Cordy and... I dunno, see what the what is?" I asked, avoiding his gaze. Stupid green demon. Stupid gorilla guy. Hell, stupid Gunn. Damn right we were no couple, but it wasn't my fault, was it? Not that it was his either but-- "Maybe we should just head back to the hotel." I said, though I was now itching for a fight. I needed something to hit. Hard.
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“No we aint joinin’,” I agreed, letting Buffy drag me away. “Sides, I don’t dance this kinda shit.”
“Oh,” Green guy said, dramatically puttin’ his hand over his chest. Don’t even know if that’s where his heart was, this was a demon after all. “You wound me!” He said dramatically and then winked. “You two love chuckles known where to find me.”
“We aint a couple!” I stated again, wonderin’ why I was protestin’ so hard. Wasn’t that kinda what I wanted all along? Fuck, Wes is right. I’m such a coward when it comes to that. Maybe he was right and I shoulda…what he call it again? ‘woe her’? But the way she protested here, made it all kinds of clear she don’t want us to be…more then friends.
When she finally stopped dragging me, plenty of longs aways from the dance party, I slipped my axe from under my coat and rested it on the floor. Damn, all worked up and nothin' to hit. That’s all kinds of not good. Looks like Buffy’s just itchen for a fight too.
“I say we call her Majesty or Wes and then go find us some sewer entrance. Gotta be some vamps hidin’ out in there as usual, I’m kinda in need to get rid of this adrenaline pumpin’ through my veins. What’s about you?”
Please say yes. Nothin’ more fun then dustin’ a few vamps in tandem.
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Literally.
But others - and I was counting tonight in that little poll - was down to the vampires and demons of this world. Like that night I'd had to limp home practically shirtless because of that demon with the claws. Cringe much?
This was worse.
First, we barge in on some sponsored couple dance type thing. Then, Gunn makes it abundantly clear that tiny blonde bundles of energy are not his thing-- And we're left standing at his truck, both itching for something to fight.
“I say we call her Majesty or Wes and then go find us some sewer entrance. Gotta be some vamps hidin’ out in there as usual, I’m kinda in need to get rid of this adrenaline pumpin’ through my veins. What’s about you?”
"Sure, I could use something to hit." I nodded, biting my lip to keep from telling him that there were other ways to get rid of that type of adrenalin.
Sure, Buffy, I thought dryly, why not take out an ad in the LA Gazette that just tells him how much of a great-whore you are... Great.
"We could always try dancing our adrenalin away." As soon as the words were out of my mouth I regretted them. For one, Gunn could take them completely the wrong way and think I meant the horizontal type of dance-- Or he could think I was suggesting we, like, be a couple or-- Oh my God.
"So, sewer?" I asked, wincing as I realised my voice had got all high-pitched and squinky. Quickly, I turned away from him, hoping he'd call Cordelia. No way could I talk to her without her noticing that there was something seriously up with the Dating Inept One herself.
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“Sure thing, I’ll call Queen C,” I mutter, pattin’ my pocket to find the cellphone Wes and Cordy insist we take with us at all friggen times. Cordy more then Wes, cause nine outta ten times he forgets the thing too. Or he forgets to switch it off. Which yeah, I’m not gonna remind him of it, Cause then I might not be able to listen into him and Cordy doin’ the whole…what he call it? Oh yeah. ‘Cordelia, we can’t snog now, a client may walk in. Where are you dragging me off to?’. Man, I aint never gonna look at that closet the same way again. And snoggin’? I seriously need to teach my man some cool words.
As I pull my cellphone out with a chuckle, I blink at her words. “Dancin’?” What she on about? Fuckining hell, women are really confusin’. And unlike Wes I aint got the finesse to roll over and nod while sneakin’ ‘round and do what I want anyway. I think I am anyway. Damn. “I’m not much of a danc-- Oh, yeah, right. Sewers it is.”
Okay, way confused now. If she wants to go dancin', we can go dance I suppose. Would be kinda nice actually. Like a date, only not. Probably the only time I get close to datin’ Buffy Summers, cause she does this little freak whenever something couply is mention. Or I do. Whatever. And what’s wrong with her voice? “You okay there, Buffy?” I ask, dialing the firms number and waintin’ for one of them to pick up. Or, y’k,now, the answering machine. Heh.
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"Dancin'? I'm not much of a danc--"
Oh, I did not-- I did not just tell him I wanted to go-- "So, sewers?"
"Oh, yeah, right. Sewers it is."
Did I just blow that? Because I think I just blew that. What with the high-voice and the waiting for Cordelia and the nervousness. I don't get it. I really don't get it. Back in Sunnydale, there were... There were a few guys interested. Sure, I didn't have time for them, what with being head over heels in love with the vampire who tried to kill me once we got horizontal with each other but-- I noticed them! I even flirted back a couple of times when I was trying to convince myself that Angel and I were really through and that no amount of patching up was going to work between us, 'cause hello, evil! And there was that--
"You okay there, Buffy?"
"What? I'm fine!" I tell him, my voice not even attempting to return to normal, "I'm just... You know how I get if I don't get my slay on, I-- Look, you just catch me up once you've talked to Cordy, okay?"
And I turn and stalk off in the direction of the sewers, mentally groaning at what I've just done. Why in the name of hell can't I just go up to him and say, 'hey, I like you, maybe wanna catch a movie sometime?' What, would it kill me? And what the hell is with the protesting so much that we're not an item! God, even Green Guy picked up on my issues before I did.
I blew that. I totally blew that. And now I made things between Gunn and I weird. I hate my whole life.
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….We help the hopeless. We’re currently not able to answer the phone….
I rolled my eyes at Cordelia’s perky message on the answering machine. Guess they was busy. Wonder if it involved a closet this time. Naw, probably not. Probably Cordy havin’ a big ass headache again and Wes anxiously hovein’ nearby to make sure she was alright. And we all knew she wasn’t. Knew Wes was getting way with the worry ‘bout that.
“Hey guys, Gunn here. That demon thing in your vision was a bust. Turned out to me some couple party thing whatever. Buffy and me ran away quickly and we’re headin’ to the sewers now to get our slay on. Dig? We’ll be back later, we’re…fine.”
Yeah. Totally fine.
Sighin’, I clicked of the phone and let it slip back into my pocket. Then I, picked up my axe and quickly followed Buffy to the sewers. Maybe she’s all better after we hit some thing. I know I usually feel better afterward. Unless that thing got to hit me, then I was just pissed. “Yo, Buffy,” I called into the sewer entrance. Didn’t want some kinda karate chop in my neck just cause I forgot to announce myself. Not gonna fall for that again.
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Sighing, I walk a little way along one of the tunnels, careful not to go to far. Not that I don't think I can handle demons or rats or anything but-- Walking the thirty blocks back to the hotel when I could be riding in that oh-so-uncomfortable silence with Gunn? Not exactly on my list of things to do tonight.
“Yo, Buffy.”
I smile when I hear his voice, remembering almost a moment too late that I'm mad at him. Or mad at us. Or-- Maybe I'm just mad at me for not knowing how to react around the guy. It wasn't like being with Angel prepared me for a normal relationship or anything.
"Down here," I call, taking a step back and finding myself faced with-- Oh God, torso of Gunn, his shirt riding up a little as he climbs down the steps. Stop staring!
"Not picking up anything yet," I murmur, looking away from him. At least it's relatively dark down here, I think, glad that he probably couldn't see me blush, "Anything else from Cordy?"
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“Man, this place stinks,” I muttered, jumpin’ down from the last sport. Some sewers were like way worse then others. Luckily we don’t have Wes with us or we’d be in a worse place. The guy seems to magically drawn to the worst smellin’ ones, only to fall into the water. Much to Cordelia’s delight. Oh wait no, that was Buffy and me laughing our asses off the. After we made sure they was alright, lecture from Barbie aside.
“Nothin’?” I asked, a bit disappointed as I hefted the axe. We started in a random direction, since we really didn’t have - gasp we heathens - a plan. “Oh them, I got the machine. You have reached, we help the hopeless, blah blah blah. Bet they’re inpsectin’ the closet again or whatever. I left a message that the stint was a bust and we was gonna hit the sewers.”
I paused and looked over my shoulder at her while we kept movin’ deeper into the sewers. “So? Still nothing’?” And yeah, there was a bit of hope in my voice that she got something. I just needed to get rid of this pent up shit, and I knew she felt it too. We got al ready to fight and ended up getting’ blabbed at by some green dude.
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Which led me to my next point: Wesley wasn't hanging off the phone?
"Y'know, all these visions," I observed, stepping round the corner carefully, "And have you noticed that a good five or something these past few weeks have been total busts?"
Which, hey, if Cordy and Wes wanted to make out in the closet, I was all for that. But being sent on a phoney-mission with no phoney-demon to kill at the end of it was starting to piss me off.
“So? Still nothing’?”
"Even less than the last time you asked me," I murmured, knowing something was nagging at me but I couldn't figure out what. A second later and there was an almighty screeching noise that forced both Gunn and I to our knees, our hands clamped over our ears, and for a moment? I thought maybe my eardrums were bleeding because--
"What the hell was that?" I asked, glancing up at Gunn who looked about as impressed as me to be knee-deep in sewage.
We got our answer a second later when a large, hulking demon ambled along the sewer tunnel and screeched again, robbing us of most of our basic motor functions.
I cried out, my eardrums close to popping now, and struggled to get to my feet knowing that it so very wasn't happening until it got a little too close to Gunn for comfort and slammed its fist down - forgetting to screech. Gunn rolled and the thing narrowly missed hitting his head. I could only admire his ability to get back to his feet after that little headtrip.
"Here!" I yelled, tossing him my stake. I wasn't sure where his axe had gone but my guess? Was that the big hulking demon thing wasn't going to be all polite and wait for us to find it.
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