(no subject)
I love watching myself grow older and wiser.
I've done a lot of reflecting this month, and I've learned a lot of things that I needed to know. A year ago I thought I knew it all, had it all down like some sort of list. Who was I kidding? It's really important to keep in mind that the wiser you think you are, the dumber you're allowing yourself to be.
I'm wiser than I was last year, especially because I now know that I'm a fool.
But a fool who is always learning and keeping a look out.
This month I've dealt with an immense barrage of anxiety and great fear like I've never experienced before. At first I succumbed to it- miserably terrified and disturbingly overwhelmed.
But I won't let my own mind scare me anymore. Everytime I feel that disturbing, burning feeling in my gut I remain calm and it goes away.
I was terrified by my own fear. Terrified to pieces.
I still deal with it everyday, but I feel in control of it now and a lot more confident in my ability to make it go away.
Anyways... Thanksgiving couldn't have come at a more perfect time. The past few weeks I've been nothing but thankful for everything in my life- my family, my friends, my health, my brain, my home, my abundant opportunities, every person I've ever met, every experience and memory that I've ever had, and the whole world. Yeah, I'm thankful that the world is still in tact.
This actually makes it difficult for me to construct a Christmas List right now because I feel bad asking for more.
Anyways, there are some amazing people who just got back into town today and I must go see them.
I've done a lot of reflecting this month, and I've learned a lot of things that I needed to know. A year ago I thought I knew it all, had it all down like some sort of list. Who was I kidding? It's really important to keep in mind that the wiser you think you are, the dumber you're allowing yourself to be.
I'm wiser than I was last year, especially because I now know that I'm a fool.
But a fool who is always learning and keeping a look out.
This month I've dealt with an immense barrage of anxiety and great fear like I've never experienced before. At first I succumbed to it- miserably terrified and disturbingly overwhelmed.
But I won't let my own mind scare me anymore. Everytime I feel that disturbing, burning feeling in my gut I remain calm and it goes away.
I was terrified by my own fear. Terrified to pieces.
I still deal with it everyday, but I feel in control of it now and a lot more confident in my ability to make it go away.
Anyways... Thanksgiving couldn't have come at a more perfect time. The past few weeks I've been nothing but thankful for everything in my life- my family, my friends, my health, my brain, my home, my abundant opportunities, every person I've ever met, every experience and memory that I've ever had, and the whole world. Yeah, I'm thankful that the world is still in tact.
This actually makes it difficult for me to construct a Christmas List right now because I feel bad asking for more.
Anyways, there are some amazing people who just got back into town today and I must go see them.