.:eh:.
yeah I haven't been here very long I know. I still have to meet so many new faces and people. I can't help but feel that I am so alone. I feel like quitting and I haven't even started yet. I feel like crying again. I am just realizing that I am alone here. I have no real friends because I just got here. I want some people I can go to when I need to. Yeah I know there are some people in which I can do that. I just don't feel like messing up again which I tend to do over and over again. College is alot easier I guess in some ways. Yet I hate feeling like I have nothing to do. I don't want to get on people's nerves because I know I can. I want to be able to trust people I want to be able to put everything i am out there and not be scared that someone will just look at it and spit on it. I don't want to show people the bad side of me because that is ussually where people just turn around and run. I don't wna tthat to happen I can see where it is happening though. I feel that this may be too much for me. I just want to go crawl into a hole again where no one can see me and just see the outside and never the true me. because I feel that the real me is just so hidious that they will just run away and not want to talk to me. so it is better to have a shallow relationship than non at all. ohh well.