Revilations...

[chance_monroe]

[Continued from *here*I met Graham the night before at a club, there was an instant attraction. He called me the next day and invited me out to dinner. We had a wonderful time. Even came back here and before we knew it we were naked. Sweaty and happily naked

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[chance_monroe]

"You at least going to give me a reason as what you are talking about? An explanation?"

The tone of his voice. FUCK. I couldn't take it. It hurt. Damnit it hurt. I didn't want it too but it did.

I sighed and slid my way down the door frame till I was on my knees. I couldn't look at him. It hurt, it would hurt more if I looked at him.

I licked my lips and lowered my head. "I'm some sort of mutated freak." I shrugged. "That's the only thing I can think of to explain it." I ran my fingers through my hair. "Those shots keep everything suppressed. Keeps me normal, at least long enough to pretend."

I sighed and leaned my back against the sink only feet from him. I turned and looked at him. Fuck that hurt. "I'm sorry..." I whispered.

Chance Monroe just said she was sorry and for the first time in her life, she meant it.

"I'm sorry Graham..."

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the cabinet. I knew he wanted to know what it was that made me a freak. I licked my lips and sighed. "Things...if I think about them, they come to me. My eyes have a tendency to change color right before I need another 'dose'. There's more but I just..." I turned away from him and looked out at the skylight in the bedroom. "I know you want to leave. Just...just go ahead and go. They all do, they always do. I never let them in. I never let anyone in until..."

You.

[graham_452]

I listened to what she was saying, resisting the urge to get up and run out and take what little pride and dignity I had left. She broke me...

Then I heard what she was saying, did she honestly think that a little something different would make my feelings for her change? I got up and slowly walked over and sat down across from her, a part of me was longing to pull her close and hold her. But I wanted to talk with her.

"Supress what?" I asked and then she explained it to me. "Come to you? YOu mean like telekenisis or something?" I asked as I pulled my knee's up, trying to cover my face. It still hurt...the fact that she kept telling me to leave...

"And I don't want to leave, I was being serious Chance...I really do think you are a great person...and I want to spend more time with you" I said slowly, I felt like I was walking on egg shells, waiting to say something wrong, and have her snap at me again.

If she kept pushing I'd leave, seems that it is what she wanted...and it would be easier on me, I wouldn't sound as stupid as I do right now...I wanted her, but I couldn't manage to get the words out of my mouth.

I put my knee's down and looked her straight in the eyes, trying to hide the emotion on my face, I was a soldier, it was what I was trained to do, hide my emotions, how come I couldn't do it with her?

THe eyes were the window to your soul...when I looked into her's I realized that well, how much I really did care for her, but I didn't want to say anything and then have her push me away like she was right now, or worse, have her reject me...kind of like how she is right now.

[chance_monroe]

He looked at me and I wanted to look away, I couldn't. I didn't want too. "I.." I don't want you to leave. "They always leave when they find out. If they don't it's usually because they want something from me." I whispered.

I looked into his eyes and really looked at him. If I wasn't sitting I would have landed flat on my ass. His eyes held what I had hidden in my own. What I had hidden beneath the shield I put up. The one that keeps me from getting hurt.

"Telekinesis is just part of it. I can move things with my mind that are in other rooms. I can astral project too." I tilted my head slightly. "I think that's what it's called. I-"

I sighed and put my head in my hands. I was hurting him. I didn't want too. I didn't want to get close. I didn't want him too.

But fuck it all to hell, I want him.

"There is a place that I found that I got all the information that I needed to make a cocktail to keep everything suppressed. I never had anyone show me how to use what I have. I never wanted all of this. I just wanted to be a normal girl. I just wanted..." I laugh bitterly. "Nothing that I want matters. It never matters. It doesn't matter that I ran as far away from New York and everyone I knew, It doesn't matter that I got a job, no make that an internship, at a company that I wouldn't normally work for. It doesn't matter that I want..." I opened my eyes and looked at him.

It doesn't matter that I want you. That I don't want you to leave. You're going to leave. You're going to leave just like the rest of them.

[graham_452]

"Don't keep telling me to leave then, if you don't want me to" I said, giving up. I hated it when girls played games, it drove me crazy, I hated feeling like a lost puppy, never knowing what was going on. Damn it I was a person, I had fucking feelings, despite what my CO kept telling me.

I got up and saw the look on her face as I did, "Hey...no, I'm not going anywhere, my ass is just cold from the tile" I said half-heartedly, trying to joke. I leaned over and took her hand and pulled her up and walked over towards the bed as I sat down on the bed with her, facing her as I held her hands.

"And Chance it does matter...not only because I care, but because you are a person, a free thinker. You have a mind of your own..." I said, which was more kind of like talking to myself, because I needed to hear it.

I let go of her hand with my right hand, still holding her hand with my other as I reached up and brushed some of the hair out of her face. "It really does matter Chance..." I said softly. "As for what to do with it, you know if you still want me around, we could learn it together you know." I said softly, gazing into her eyes.

[chance_monroe]

I watched as he got up and I could swear my heart dropped to my toes. I sighed and smiled slightly and took his hands.

We sat on the bed and I listened as he talked. I mattered? According to him I did. But. How did it get like this? How did things get so tangled up.

I care damnit, I don't want too. I tried not too but I do. But maybe it's not so fucked up this time. Maybe he does too. Who am I kidding. He wouldn't. He's a normal small town boy, he doesn't want anything to do with me.

I closed my eyes as he brushed the hair from my face. I brought my hand up and held his hand against my cheek. I swallowed hard and searched his eyes before I spoke. "I..." I stop and start chewing on my bottom lip trying to make sure if I was ready to be this honest with him. With anyone honestly.

Screw it. I'm already in too deep.

"What I want is here. I want you to stay. I want to see where this goes. And..." No turning back now. "I hope it goes somewhere wonderful because I don't think I could take it if..." You hurt me.

"Don't leave." There. I said it. Now I'm really naked.

[graham_452]

I looked at her and a smile krept across my face, I supressed it. "I wanted to hear you say that, I am not going to leave Chance. I want to see where this goes, well other than to the moon and stars" I said as I cracked another smile. "I want to get to know the real Chance Monroe, everything about you. Your past...and well our future" I said, hoping that it was ok to talk about "our future."

----
I took a deep breathe, how did I say this? “Hi, I’m Graham Miller, I work for a secret government organization. I actually have my own squad, my title is actually Special Agent Miller. I was brainwashed and then taught all these military strategy plans. I worked under one of my best friend’s Riley. Who left to go to some black ops and then I got his job. I tag and bag demons and other creature’s that go bump in the night”

I looked at her, “Chance, I’m not really normal either. I well I am hooked on these meds that I get from work, I can’t function without them, I mean I get a really bad fever, get clammy, and turn ghostly pale” I said as I took a deep breathe. I hadn’t told anyone this, not even my own family. Not that they would care, they didn’t understand. “I’m a solder, Special Agent Miller is my title. I am part of a government organization.” I said, feeling a big weight lifted off of my shoulders.

I looked at her, waiting for her to reject me. Tell me I was crazy and that I should be locked up, and for her to tell me to leave again. It scared me shitless to tell you the truth, I hated that she had so much power over me. She could look at me and it made me feel so bad, make me feel the worse pain in my life.

I looked at her, vulnerable.

A feeling I despisied more than anything, but I was...open to her. She held my heart, she could either drop it and step on it like so many other's have or play with it some more and drop it, or really treasure it. Please let her want to keep it.

[chance_monroe]

"I see that smile Mister Miller." I smirked and nodded. "I wanted to say it. I was afraid too. I've kept everything inside and hidden for so long I don't know what it's like outside this shell." My eyes widened when he said 'our future'. I paused and smiled. "I'd like that."

He paused for a moment, it looked like he had something heavy to say. Oh god, not the other shoe. I sighed as he started talking. I listened intently.

Wow, ok a lot to take in. But hey, I just walloped him with a dozy. So yeah, were even.

Ok the meds I'm not so sure about. It makes my stomach hurt to think of him getting sick. I didn't like that one minute.

I sat for a moment as my mind ran through everything. "Ok, the meds thing, doesn't sit well with me. At all. I don't like the idea of you getting sick." I nervously chewed my lip and thought for a moment.

I licked my lips and I let a small smile escape. "Cool." I grinned at him and slowly crawled onto his lap, facing him, my knees on either side of his waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled down at him. "Well, Agent Miller...does this mean I get to see you all sexy in your uniform?" I whispered seductively as I smirked at him. I leaned down and kissed him lightly. "Just so I can get you out of it..."

[graham_452]

She liked the idea of our future, and that gave me hope. The light at the end of the tunnel, I finally saw it. God knows I deserve to be happy for once, and I honestly thought this was my chance. How ironic, my chance with Chance.

Well she didn't push me away, so that was a good thing. "Well I kinda need them to stay alive sweetie" I said. I remembered what happened to Riley when he didn't take them, Buffy brought him, he was a wreck, I shivered at the thought, I remember Buffy, she was so scared worried that she was going to lose him.

I never wanted to see Chance like that, not in that kind of pain, never. Not if I had anything to do with it.

Then she stradled me, uh-huh. I kissed her as I ran my hands over her legs as we kissed. "Well Miss Monroe, I think I could arrange for a private viewing for you ma'am" I said with a smile. That voice...by god she really was a tease, and a damn good one.

[chance_monroe]

He called me sweetie. Nobody but my father used to call me that. And that was years ago. I liked it. I liked being around him. I loved having him around.

I kept my distaste about the meds to myself. There had to be a way to change it, I'd have to find a way. I didn't like the idea of him needing to depend on pills to keep him alive.

Ironic much?

I grinned at him. "That better be a promise." I wiggled my hips against him and I gasped when I felt him pressing against me. "Ohhh." I leaned down and kissed him deeply. I ran my hands over his shoulders and down his back, I dug my nails into his back and pulled him closer to me.

I broke the kiss when we were both out of breath. I looked down at him and ran my hand over his face. "So I guess this is all new for both of us hu? I've never let anyone in before..." I ran my finger over his lips. "But you managed to get in before I even noticed..."

[graham_452]

I kissed her long and passionatly, it wasn't lust. Lust wasn't even in the picture now, it was actually caring for her. It scared the hell out of me too. This was all new to me.

I could tell she wasn't big on the med's but it was a sad part of me being me. She'd get used to it though.

"It is a promise ma'am" I said with a wink. "Maybe we can even use my cuff's" I said with a smile, something tells me would have fun with that. THen I felt her nails scratching at back, normally I hated having any marks, but hers. I couldn't get enough of them. I wanted people to know I had someone, wanted to scream it out at the top of my lungs on the talled building.

"I...I have never told anyone that...ever." I said softly, I trusted her with my life.

Then we kissed again, breaking because we needed air, I felt lightheaded, not sure if it was from the lack of air, or the power and electricity we had together. Our chemistry was undeniable, was the kind that you read about it fairy tales.

"Your my once upon a time, Chance. My happily ever after" I said in the heat of the moment. As soon as I said it I froze. Shit. There was a reason I never tried to be a writer or a poet, I sucked at it, sucked majorly.

[chance_monroe]

I moaned against his lips. "Ohh so then we'd have two pairs..." I ran my tongue over his lips and let his mind wonder.

"I...I have never told anyone that...ever."

I ran my hand down his cheek and smiled slightly. "Well, I've never let anyone in. At all, so we're even. We can do this together." I leaned down and kissed him, there was just something about him. I wanted to be near him. Almost like I craved it.

For once, I didn't mind needing someone. It didn't make me feel helpless.

I giggles slightly at his words. "You are just adorable." I licked my lips and kissed him softly. "Stop pouting. It looks better on me anyway." I shifted against him and I felt a jolt shoot through me. I wanted him, with every fiber of my body, but I had to say something first.

I bit my lip and looked down at him. "I want that. The happy and the ever after. But I'm afraid that I'll hurt you. Sometimes it gets out of control and it just happens." I sighed. "Last time the guy nearly ended up in the hospital. He still has a burnt hand print on him..."

[graham_452]

She already had handcuff's...why wasn't I surprised? "double the fun" I said with a smirk.

"I'm glad you let me in, gave me the chance to meet you, the real you. Thanks for the chance, Chance" I said with a smile.

Gotta remember never to open my mouth again, I remember my dad telling met hat I was never going to be good at it, or at school. Should just stick to sport's what I was good at. She giggled, might as well have spat in my face. I tried to push it from my memory, but all the other girls did that giggled and then told their friends, and then the whole school knew. Bad bad memories. I tried pushing them out.

"Well, that's a chance I'm willing to take, plus if we stop now. I don't want to regreat this, always look back and wonder what we could have happened. You only live once" I said

[chance_monroe]

"I'm glad too." I returned his smile and ignored the panicked thumping of my heart. Yeah, scared is me. But that was something I was gonna deal with. For him.

I saw a look cross his face and it made my heart hurt. "Ohh Graham..." I tilted his head to look at me. "I wasn't laughing at you. I liked what you said and I thought it was sweet. Nobody even thinks of doing or saying things like that to me." I leaned down and kissed him hard. "I loved what you said. More then you know." I whispered against his lips.

I nodded at his words. "I know, I don't want to regret it either. But I don't want to hurt you. I couldn't take that..." I shook my head. "See, look what you've done to me. Now I can't stop babbling about how I feel. That's so not like me..."

I squirmed against his lap and gave him a devilish look. "I guess I'll just have to make it up to you..." I tilted my head to the side and looked at him. "However can I do that baby?" I leaned down and started nipping at his neck, right where his pulse was.