How to Become a "Kewl Punk Rawker" in 10 Easy Steps
I found this on a site and thought it was hilarious. Some of you may be offended but I think it's funny. Don't take it to seriously.
Punk is KEWL. KEWL is punk. Minorities are the worse!....Repeat this as necessary, chant like a Hail Mary.
1. BLACK BLACK BLACK! Black hair, black eyeliner, black shirts, pants, shoes, socks...ANYTHING! Black is the most hardcore color out there. It's also 'gothic', and everyone knows gothic is cool, SO LOAD ON THE BLACK! You can never have too much black, which is the great thing about it! The more black you have, obviously the more hardcore you are.
2. Be pale! Tans are for preppies! The only way to be a TRUE punk is to stay awayyyyy from the sunlight! Being pale also makes your black makeup look even BLACKER! If it is not possible at all for you to become pale, this is alright too! Just buy foundation 20 shades lighter than you skin. No need to apply it to the rest of your body, just the face is fine.
3. METAL!! Metal spikes, chains, hats, pins, jewelry, anything! Metal is punk and punk is cool. So, the more spikes and chains you have, the cooler you are! It is manditory to NOT purchase chains at hardware stores. You must only purchase these at Hot Topic. Why, if you went to a hardware store, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW WHICH CHAINS WERE PUNK? This is too big of a risk to take.
4. Band shirts galore. Do not wear any other type of shirt that does not portray a KEWL punk band on it. If you cannot wear a band shirt, certain cartoon or TV show shirts are acceptable. These include My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, The Goonies, and Invader Zim. To find the full list please go to your local Hot Topic.
5. Witty minority sayings. "You are all sheep!", "Keep staring, I might do a trick", "Pimpercrombi and Bitch", "I used to care, but now I take pills for that" and many many more! DANGER DANGER!! Do NOT attempt to make up these sayings on your own! This is a highly skilled professional job. So, again, the only way to be sure is to go to Hot Topic.
6. Your backpack is the coolest thing EVER. REMEMBER THIS!! Nothing can make your backpack look too punk, because, PSHA! WHO EVER HEARD OF ANYTHING LIKE TOO PUNK? Bombard every inch of your packpack with buttons (the cool punk word for PIN), cool punk toys and anything punk you can think of! An upside down flag is always a nice touch too.
7. Abercrombi and Fitch is not your friend! Nevermind that Abercrombi owns Hot Topic, shhhh, maybe no one will ever find out! The goal is to scare all these Abercrombi and Fitch people away! Lurking around the Abercrombi store doors is always a plus too.
8. Unnatural hair color. Your natural hair color is SO boring. And boring isn't cool, so of course it isn't PUNK! You must either dye your hair black or any other non-natural color. Popular colors include: pink, blue, purple and red. Never actually keep up with your hair color though. Let your roots grow to atleast 2 inches long before you re-dye your hair. This makes it look like you don't care, and not caring is PUNK!
9. Listen to music no one else does. This includes either bands that no ones heard of, or older music done by bands people have heard of. A good way to do this is to listen to the radio. Then write down all the bands names that you hear, and buy their older albums. You can then tell people "[Insert band name here] SUCKS, but their old stuff is cool!!". Either this or search google for PUNK sites. Buy every single CD of the bands on their sites! Remember though- if one of your unknown bands goes onto the radio, you must then proclaim to the world either "[Band name] ARE SELL OUTS!!!" or "[Band name] USED to be cool, when all of these POSERS didnt know about them!!"
10. Anything you don't like is a poser. Remember this word and use it frequently. ex: "OMG, Mr Brown is such a POSER, I can't believe he would give us a test today" or "Omg, look at that POSER girl over their, I totally had that NIN shirt before her!". Calling other people posers insures that you are NOT a poser! And remember: being a poser is the cardinal sin of being punk!
*I don't have anything against people who shop at Hot Topic. I occasionally go in there. I just found this amusing*
This is from: http://www.ubersite.com/m/19575
Punk is KEWL. KEWL is punk. Minorities are the worse!....Repeat this as necessary, chant like a Hail Mary.
1. BLACK BLACK BLACK! Black hair, black eyeliner, black shirts, pants, shoes, socks...ANYTHING! Black is the most hardcore color out there. It's also 'gothic', and everyone knows gothic is cool, SO LOAD ON THE BLACK! You can never have too much black, which is the great thing about it! The more black you have, obviously the more hardcore you are.
2. Be pale! Tans are for preppies! The only way to be a TRUE punk is to stay awayyyyy from the sunlight! Being pale also makes your black makeup look even BLACKER! If it is not possible at all for you to become pale, this is alright too! Just buy foundation 20 shades lighter than you skin. No need to apply it to the rest of your body, just the face is fine.
3. METAL!! Metal spikes, chains, hats, pins, jewelry, anything! Metal is punk and punk is cool. So, the more spikes and chains you have, the cooler you are! It is manditory to NOT purchase chains at hardware stores. You must only purchase these at Hot Topic. Why, if you went to a hardware store, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW WHICH CHAINS WERE PUNK? This is too big of a risk to take.
4. Band shirts galore. Do not wear any other type of shirt that does not portray a KEWL punk band on it. If you cannot wear a band shirt, certain cartoon or TV show shirts are acceptable. These include My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, The Goonies, and Invader Zim. To find the full list please go to your local Hot Topic.
5. Witty minority sayings. "You are all sheep!", "Keep staring, I might do a trick", "Pimpercrombi and Bitch", "I used to care, but now I take pills for that" and many many more! DANGER DANGER!! Do NOT attempt to make up these sayings on your own! This is a highly skilled professional job. So, again, the only way to be sure is to go to Hot Topic.
6. Your backpack is the coolest thing EVER. REMEMBER THIS!! Nothing can make your backpack look too punk, because, PSHA! WHO EVER HEARD OF ANYTHING LIKE TOO PUNK? Bombard every inch of your packpack with buttons (the cool punk word for PIN), cool punk toys and anything punk you can think of! An upside down flag is always a nice touch too.
7. Abercrombi and Fitch is not your friend! Nevermind that Abercrombi owns Hot Topic, shhhh, maybe no one will ever find out! The goal is to scare all these Abercrombi and Fitch people away! Lurking around the Abercrombi store doors is always a plus too.
8. Unnatural hair color. Your natural hair color is SO boring. And boring isn't cool, so of course it isn't PUNK! You must either dye your hair black or any other non-natural color. Popular colors include: pink, blue, purple and red. Never actually keep up with your hair color though. Let your roots grow to atleast 2 inches long before you re-dye your hair. This makes it look like you don't care, and not caring is PUNK!
9. Listen to music no one else does. This includes either bands that no ones heard of, or older music done by bands people have heard of. A good way to do this is to listen to the radio. Then write down all the bands names that you hear, and buy their older albums. You can then tell people "[Insert band name here] SUCKS, but their old stuff is cool!!". Either this or search google for PUNK sites. Buy every single CD of the bands on their sites! Remember though- if one of your unknown bands goes onto the radio, you must then proclaim to the world either "[Band name] ARE SELL OUTS!!!" or "[Band name] USED to be cool, when all of these POSERS didnt know about them!!"
10. Anything you don't like is a poser. Remember this word and use it frequently. ex: "OMG, Mr Brown is such a POSER, I can't believe he would give us a test today" or "Omg, look at that POSER girl over their, I totally had that NIN shirt before her!". Calling other people posers insures that you are NOT a poser! And remember: being a poser is the cardinal sin of being punk!
*I don't have anything against people who shop at Hot Topic. I occasionally go in there. I just found this amusing*
This is from: http://www.ubersite.com/m/19575