(no subject)
damn trucks drive down the road at 6:oo am every morning to remind me i have yet to fall asleep. its just so easy to get lost once i return from my night shift- to work intensely on something or another for hours on end. i keep losing track of time and today at work i noticed i wasn't really speaking very coherently. i was still a bit drunk. it was an unexpectedly drunken night in order to listen/converse unwillingly for hours with my sister. they made me scan the entire wine/spirits section at work which made me feel ironic. my recent internal monologue has me laughing out loud then making me feel weird about it after, but i cannot control it. living alone feels funny at times. funny/amusing. i smoke in bed. paint as freely as i please. sing and play music too loud. i bet i'm an awkward neighbor. avoidant. little to no eye contact. i cannot wait to get my bicycle for my 21st. i didn't think i'd be anticipating returning to school like this but holy shit will it just start already. i am going to love this semester. i am never going to sleep again. i miss the library. also i really wish i could aspire to travel to places i know will be cheap trips. opportunities keep being thrown at me. it would be wonderful to have my vacations from school actually be sincere vacations. spending christmas in colorado seems to make sense. new york city within the year, crashing at my cousin's apartment for awhile to see some schools and museums. paid internship in france hooked up through my uncle for next summer? who knows. but i could only hope.
highlight of the my endless day by far: finding shit tons of abandoned slides and some very amazing new records. honestly. all the music i am into as of late keeps begging me to drive fast late at night chain smoking. drunk. eep.
hey listen. i don't know what the fuck is so intriguing about the olympics. i see the interest but it just doesn't hold my attention. the only thing i've actually watched was on earlier. table-top tennis. that was okay but then i felt silly and switched back to the basics. public broadcast and turner classic movies.