my lord
I have been living in good ol' Brooklyn since January 27th. I have been happy since. Life is fucking good.
Since I have since had my heart involved with several girls but it remains enveloped with the one girl that could destroy my relationship with a friend. Strange how love comes with a trade-off.
I have had so many parties since I moved to east Williamsburg. Liberty is a great thing. I was given 8 bottles of gin for my birthday and Im down to 3. I hide the Tanquaray Ten and and the Van Gogh in my room. Thats the really really good stuff. Altogether, the gift must have been about $200. I love my friends.
So,. it seems that this peculiar lady is inarguably the least likely of all women to want to be involved with me. Truth is I have had a crush on her since day one but it was never a prospect. She was, for one, my best friend's girlfriend and then became my best friend's ex. And then one day, out of nowhere, she tells me everything. At the time I was involved with somebody else and allowed myself to let my feelings grow for this other girl. Before I knew it, I was seeing one girl and, at the same time, was emotionally attached to the other.
I told my best friend the other day what's been on my mind. He's suffering. A year later and he's still heart broken. I can't believe that I let myself consider this, and worse, that I want to jeopardize his happiness. What's a heart to do? Yes, I am Erez's inflamed sense of ambivalence.
The truth is: she is different from any other girl I have been with. Precisely why it's so hard to let it go by. For a while now, I have felt that I was dating the same kind of girl for a long time, in different ways, of course. and now, I see the perfect opportunity for change, not without a sense of guilt. I want to be happy, but not at my friend's expense. And if I do let her go, I will be so miserable that I passed up something great. Woe is me.
I want to everyone to be happy. There's just no way that can happen.
Sometimes I think that I could be perfectly happy being single. But the weight of this knowledge; knowing that I could have this wonderful opportunity, even if it is for a short time, makes it so much harder to be assured. Ignorance is bliss.
Other news: I have had a job as a bus-runner at this fancy restaurant in midtown Manhattan called Asia de Cuba. I get payed decently but I've been offered a job as a service bartender at the next door bar. both of these bars are located in the first floor of Morgan's Hotel. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity; to be offered a job as a bartender at a really expensive bar in nyc without 2 years experience... I don't want to let it go, but I don't want to quit the restaurant. Sigh...
I am full.
Since I have since had my heart involved with several girls but it remains enveloped with the one girl that could destroy my relationship with a friend. Strange how love comes with a trade-off.
I have had so many parties since I moved to east Williamsburg. Liberty is a great thing. I was given 8 bottles of gin for my birthday and Im down to 3. I hide the Tanquaray Ten and and the Van Gogh in my room. Thats the really really good stuff. Altogether, the gift must have been about $200. I love my friends.
So,. it seems that this peculiar lady is inarguably the least likely of all women to want to be involved with me. Truth is I have had a crush on her since day one but it was never a prospect. She was, for one, my best friend's girlfriend and then became my best friend's ex. And then one day, out of nowhere, she tells me everything. At the time I was involved with somebody else and allowed myself to let my feelings grow for this other girl. Before I knew it, I was seeing one girl and, at the same time, was emotionally attached to the other.
I told my best friend the other day what's been on my mind. He's suffering. A year later and he's still heart broken. I can't believe that I let myself consider this, and worse, that I want to jeopardize his happiness. What's a heart to do? Yes, I am Erez's inflamed sense of ambivalence.
The truth is: she is different from any other girl I have been with. Precisely why it's so hard to let it go by. For a while now, I have felt that I was dating the same kind of girl for a long time, in different ways, of course. and now, I see the perfect opportunity for change, not without a sense of guilt. I want to be happy, but not at my friend's expense. And if I do let her go, I will be so miserable that I passed up something great. Woe is me.
I want to everyone to be happy. There's just no way that can happen.
Sometimes I think that I could be perfectly happy being single. But the weight of this knowledge; knowing that I could have this wonderful opportunity, even if it is for a short time, makes it so much harder to be assured. Ignorance is bliss.
Other news: I have had a job as a bus-runner at this fancy restaurant in midtown Manhattan called Asia de Cuba. I get payed decently but I've been offered a job as a service bartender at the next door bar. both of these bars are located in the first floor of Morgan's Hotel. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity; to be offered a job as a bartender at a really expensive bar in nyc without 2 years experience... I don't want to let it go, but I don't want to quit the restaurant. Sigh...
I am full.