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[_sarastar_]

I hate him. I hate him right now with every inch of my body. I feel it in my bones. I never want to see him because I will slap him and spit in his face because thats exactly what he has done to me. But does anyone care? Everyone just says...that's the way he is. Well how about he is a fucking asshole bastard child who has no respect for anyone but

Comments

[coffiend]

your anger is going to destroy you sara. nothing good is going to come from any of this. i choose to not side with anybody on this one. im not ignoring you, i do care for you. im not sure whats going through your head right now but i know that it scares the shit out of me. i told you i would always love you and id never give up on you and this is certainly still true. i still have never spoken an ill word towards or about you. i can say this: i can see how words hurt you and how peoples attitudes hurt you. but i'd encourage you, just as you have commanded of us, to look at what you are doing to us. i fear for you. the seemingly immediate lifestyle changes, the growing anger at little to no offense, (especially with me) are all things that cause a great deal of concern in my heart. you are still a beautiful person. how many times have i told you that. when we drove that night, do you remember what i told you? do you remember the faith that i still have in you. this anger, that i and the rest of the world have just been invited to see is not the sara short that i know. this unabashed hatred, valid or not, hurts my heart. you'll not that i have spoken no words in his defense, which is not to say that i agree or disagree, because that is not the issue for me. im scared for you sara. i love you. there are alot of elements in your life right now that you yourself spoke so strongly against, with such conviction. (im not talking about religion here just to clarify) and these things, i your friend, whether you accept me or not, am freightened to watch you embrace. you have the strength to dirrect your life to success and yet you seem to be following the very path you condemned in others. myself included. i have not been around alot lately (i can here you telling me "how would you know" right now)but the things i gather from the few times i've seen you and concern that is shared with me by fellow "party goers" are, quite frankly, shocking. i want to see you succeed and i want to see a woman of integrity like the one i fell in love with. right now, i don't see that happening. i want to help you, be around for you, assist you in any way possible. but when i get messages on my phone like the one last week i have a hard time calling back. you assume that i hate you and that i have annimosity toward you. in reality i have been so busy that the only thing in my mind is the sculptures that i need to get done. i don't hate you. but you have already assumed the worst of me and i don't know how to respond to that. i love you and i want to see the best for you but i cannot handle you and yours right now. before i end this, i want to make one thing clear. i do not listen to gossip about anybody especially you. i have no idea what happens when i don't see you and i don't really care to know. it's not my business. sara you know me better than to think i hate you. do you remember the song i put on the back of the painting for you? ill post the lyrics in my journal incase you have forgotton. try to have a safe journey and if you ever head back my way, ill be here to love you when you return. because i do.