(no subject)
K, I think I made Dani upset the other night. I'm sorry, you were right.
I've changed terribly, and I'm not as good of a person as I used to be. I always said that I never had any regrets and I would never do anything differently, but since I've moved out to Michigan, there are so many things I would change about myself.
I think I was mostly upset at myself the other night, not Jared. We had discussed everything, and I foolishly agreed to something that the Sarah in Maine would never have done. And when it turned out badly, I was angry, I was angry at him, and myself, and I was embarrassed and I felt stupid.
I don't like that feeling at all.
I was so angry I was making myself sick, and I'm sure I was making Jared feel not so great too.
I went to the doctor today and they gave me pills to lower my blood pressure and gave me all this stress-relieving stuff. They told me to not let myself get so angry. So that's what I'm working on right now.
I did good tonight, I pretended that there was nothing wrong with Jared and I at work, and he was happy about that, but I'm still hurt, and there's no making that better with pretending.
anyway, I'm no longer a Maine resident. I changed today to Michigan. I'm getting my new license in two weeks, the picture is terrble, go figure.
we lost power tonight at work for 4 or 5 hours, I was bartending by candlelight...tell me how many bartenders do that!
I ended up closing early because the people all left. So I went to the hotel side and handed out candles and all that.
That "hideous beast" in Turner, Maine made the local newspaper up here in Sault Ste. Marie, MI. People are all talking about it like it's Big Foot...and it weighed about 40-50 pounds....ooo scary.
oh well, Turner needs to be known for something.
anyway, the point of this was to say sorry to Danielle.
I've changed terribly, and I'm not as good of a person as I used to be. I always said that I never had any regrets and I would never do anything differently, but since I've moved out to Michigan, there are so many things I would change about myself.
I think I was mostly upset at myself the other night, not Jared. We had discussed everything, and I foolishly agreed to something that the Sarah in Maine would never have done. And when it turned out badly, I was angry, I was angry at him, and myself, and I was embarrassed and I felt stupid.
I don't like that feeling at all.
I was so angry I was making myself sick, and I'm sure I was making Jared feel not so great too.
I went to the doctor today and they gave me pills to lower my blood pressure and gave me all this stress-relieving stuff. They told me to not let myself get so angry. So that's what I'm working on right now.
I did good tonight, I pretended that there was nothing wrong with Jared and I at work, and he was happy about that, but I'm still hurt, and there's no making that better with pretending.
anyway, I'm no longer a Maine resident. I changed today to Michigan. I'm getting my new license in two weeks, the picture is terrble, go figure.
we lost power tonight at work for 4 or 5 hours, I was bartending by candlelight...tell me how many bartenders do that!
I ended up closing early because the people all left. So I went to the hotel side and handed out candles and all that.
That "hideous beast" in Turner, Maine made the local newspaper up here in Sault Ste. Marie, MI. People are all talking about it like it's Big Foot...and it weighed about 40-50 pounds....ooo scary.
oh well, Turner needs to be known for something.
anyway, the point of this was to say sorry to Danielle.