(no subject)
I'm in Taiwan at the moment, feeling miserabe. It's probably due to the lack of people I have to relate to let along spend time with. I'm especially not looking foward to being here for two months. And the worse thing is, it's not as if I could just go home when I am absolutely fed up, because a. mom would probably refer to me as a dead beat quitter for the rest of my life, and b. me going home would really convince Dave that I have no life outside of him. I'm pathetic why am I like this? why can't I be comfortable in my own skin? why do I need other people to fulfill me? I guess I really believe just as western religions would describe a man's being, that without a relationship, without connections to other human beings I am nothing. I don't feel love, I don't feel comfort, I literally feel nothing. And there's literally nothing to do but smoke cigarettes, and when I'm not so depressed, play the guitar.
why do I suck so much. I'm such a fucking pussy. I just want Dave to say that he wants me to come home too, and stop saying it'll be good for me wether or not its really true. my mind is so foggy I can't even form a sentence that sounds remotely litterate, thus is why I am going to stop now.
why do I suck so much. I'm such a fucking pussy. I just want Dave to say that he wants me to come home too, and stop saying it'll be good for me wether or not its really true. my mind is so foggy I can't even form a sentence that sounds remotely litterate, thus is why I am going to stop now.