Salene and Bray:Washing Mr. Stinky Pants(Baby Bray):Shower Room

[_salene_]

Salene left the Extra Cafe area by going through the secondary cafe, their usual meeting area, as the baby smelled pretty stinky and she didn't want to inadvertently ruin anyone's breakfast by parading his stinky pants by those trying to eat. She had just exited, missing Amber but running into Bray carrying a bag, "Hey," she greeted quietly. "You

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[_salene_]

Salene didn't look up at him as he apologized, listening quietly, why was he apologizing to her? She's the one that had slapped him, that had gone mad in the dark so he'd had to slap her, she'd been the one to blame for him turning into his brother, it was all her fault, along with the help of the Chosen. Yeah, she'd been somewhat convinced by Ryan over the week that it wasn't her fault, it was all the Chosen, but she too took responsibility for it, even though she didn't tell Ryan that. She was to blame, that was just a fact, as much as the Chosen were, she was as well, she'd come to terms with that and would always believe it. But she heard his words, sticking her chin out as she washed the baby, soaping him up and washing his hair, using an empty cup to wash his hair clean, making sure to get behind his ears and his neck. She glanced over at his 'Ow', frowning. "We have aspirin in the hospital if you need it," she told him quietly. "Your son is so big now, and he really is starting to look like you," she changed the subject, fine, if he wanted to bring up their time in the pit, she'd just avoid it, she didn't want to talk about it!

[_bray_]

Bray sighed, "Don't change the subject," he half snapped, frowning, "Why won't you talk about it Salene?" he slid closer to her down the bench so that he was right next to her, watching his son, but also looking to her. "Salene, we have to talk about this, we can't go around forever ignoring what happened," he was talking softly, he knew it was hard, it was hard for him to talk about too, but he had to have closure, and he could really only get that from this conversation.

"We went through something pretty bad, you know? But there was one good thing about all of it, do you know what that was?" Bray paused, tilting his head to look at her as she washed the baby, hoping she didn't get the wrong idea over what he was about to say, he meant it completely platonically. "It was having you there, a friend, family, if I had been down there alone, or with some stranger, I don't think I would have survived. I was hurt really badly and you took care of me, because we're family. I'll always remember that, and we kept each other alive, and sane and warm, you fed me and made sure to clean my wounds, you were really good about taking care of a member of your Tribe Salene, and when we got out you were really good about helping to lead us home again. I'm really glad you and Amber are leading the Tribe now, I can't think of two better people to do that for us right now," he waited for her reaction, he knew it was bothering her, but she had to talk, they had to talk about this together.

[_salene_]

Salene frowned, her chin wobbled as he went on, she just didn't want to talk about this, why was he pressuring her to talk? She was on the verge of tears as he went on, telling her that the one good thing about being down there was having her with him. Salene knew he was just being nice, he surely would have liked to have had Amber instead, as she would have, at the time, rather have had Pride, but she knew what he meant, and he was right. If he had been anyone else, some stranger, or an enemy, down in that pit with her, she would have gone crazy, and she wasn't so sure she'd be alive either, or sane.

Salene sniffled and wiped the tear rolling down her cheek on the back of her hand, squeaking the duck at little Bray and watching him laugh and giggle. He saw her crying though and he started to pout, and she forced a smile for him, tickling him under the chin, "Bath time is fun Bray, yes," she told him, squeaking the duck at him which made him giggle. She kept an eye on him and glanced warily at his father, "Bray, I really don't want to talk about that stuff. Ok? I just," she shook her head, looking back at the baby sadly, "I just can't do it," her voice was small, but agitated.

Too much had happened, and she just couldn't bring herself to discuss things, but she took a deep breath, "And stop apologizing to me Bray, it's not your fault what happened, it was the Chosen," she paused for a moment, sighing before going on, "And mine, and I'm the one who should be apologizing, and I'm sorry. I still don't want to talk about it Bray," she looked at the baby and finished washing him off, he was clean now, but a little bit of play time in the bath was good for him, and she ran some of the warm water over his head again, watching him sputter then giggle, glad he was enjoying himself.

[_bray_]

Bray moved off of the bench and knelt next to her, leaning over the tub to look at his son playing with her, laughing so happily about the duck and the water on his head, he was always in such a good mood, it made Bray smile. That someone in this world could just be so carefree and happy, it was a good sign, it gave hope. Right now, however, his focus was on Salene and the talk he was adamant about having. "I know you don't want to talk about it, I don't either quite frankly, but we have to, don't you see that?" Bray frowned, they couldn't avoid it, "It's only going to tear us up inside, we, I don't know, we went through something, you're more than just a member of my Tribe, my family, Salene, we're," he shrugged, searching for the right word, not wanting to make a big deal out of it, unsure of what to call it exactly. "You're the only person in this world that can understand, and I'm the same for you. We're in this together for the long haul. I'm glad you have Ryan to help you through, and I have Amber, but we can't disregard that we have each other either. It's ok to lean on me, to talk to me when you need to, I was kind of hoping I could get the same from you," he looked at her, leaning back and sitting on the floor instead of kneeling. He couldn't really see Bray too well over the edge of the tub, but Salene was there, and she was taking care of it.

"As for apologizing, that's crap. You don't owe me an apology either, as much as it wasn't my fault, it wasn't yours either. Let's just blame it all on Charles and The Guardian and call it even. They're dead too Salene, and while I don't think it's good to waste a human life, I really don't consider either one of them human. The things that Charles said to us," Bray fisted his hands, frowning, the anger he'd felt when Charles had told Salene he would take her to meet her death the next day, he'd felt himself snap inside, changing slowly, it hadn't been Salene's fault at all, it had been Charles'. Bray put his hand to his forehead again as a sharp pain hit him there, "Gah I have to shake this headache," his eyes were crossing and then the pain was gone just as quickly as it had come, though it left him feeling dazed. Bray leaned forward and put a hand on Salene's arm, "Tell me we're ok Salene, and that you'll talk to me when you're ready, if you ever need to," that's all he wanted from her, the compassionate woman he knew she was, the only one he could talk to who would fully understand what he was feeling, what he'd gone through, what he'd heard and seen, the only one.

[_salene_]

Salene listened, she could hardly breathe, it was bringing back all kinds of memories she didn't want to have, to revisit, she couldn't do this, and Bray was making her do it. But he was right, too, because she did need to talk about it, to get it out of her system and get over it, she just really didn't want to do it, not now, not ever. Salene's chin wobbled again and she shifted on her knees against the hard floor, unenthusiastically squeaking the duck at the baby. She glanced at Bray as he asked for her to be there for him as he had offered to be there for her and she nodded, "Yes, I can do that. You're right Bray," Salene shook her head and looked away as the tears rolled down her cheeks silently, she wasn't able to stop them.

So much had happened in that dark place, so many things had been said, done, but she and Bray hadn't done anything wrong, this much she remembered. They had worked as a team, they had kept each other alive and as safe as they could, as sane as possible. She looked down as he talked about her apology being crap, it was the same as Ryan, but somehow coming from Bray it sunk in completely. If Bray didn't blame her for anything, how could she blame herself? What she'd been through had happened to him too, and he was right, it was Charles and The Guardian who were to blame. "Yeah I don't like that people were killed because of us, but I do admit I feel safer with them gone now," she nodded slowly, she'd never tell anyone that she was relieved over the death of someone else, but somehow she trusted Bray just that much more. "I heard Ryan killed The Guardian. I haven't had the heart to ask him, I don't really care honestly," she looked over at Bray shrugging slightly, "But how, Bray? Do you know how it happened? You were there weren't you?"

[_bray_]

Bray looked away as Salene asked about the death of The Guardian, he didn't want to tell her, he'd seen it all, even when he'd been locked in the manic place of his memories of his brother, he still saw everything, he still remembered everything. That sharp pain was back, and Bray just squinted against it, "Yeah, I was there. Ryan wasted The Guardian, that much is true, but he had to Salene, he just had to," Bray shook his head. He didn't want to tell her the whole truth, "We had TGuns that day, you knew that didn't you?" Bray hoped that was good enough for her, that she'd assume it was with TGuns and let that be the end of this discussion. If she couldn't bring herself to ask Ryan about what happened, which was probably for the best, Bray didn't want to tell her the truth either, it was just too much.

Bray leaned forward and touched her arm again, "Salene? I'm really sorry I snapped, that I let them win, the things I said to you when I wasn't," he frowned and looked at his baby, moving to get back onto his knees. "He doesn't know me Sal, I don't know if I can be a good father for him, I haven't been here for so much of it, I've done things to hurt him, I just want to be here for him," he spoke quietly, reaching in to pull the plug from the drain, the baby was clean enough now and there was no point in leaving him sitting in the warm water for too long.