hey
so i just finished doing dishes....they were disgusting. i cant understand why some people can't rinse theyre dishes before putting them into the sink!!! oh well. i talked to rachel last night and she was pretty effed up. im not mad at her or anything like that, im just glad that she has cory to take care of her. I love her too much to keep getting upset every time she goes and has fun just because i can't. Besides, i now have Dan's no. and we can hang out and do stuff whenever, which will make the whole "im boored with my life and upset cause rachel is getting drunk and im not" go away. it already has. i mean i can't just sit and worry about how im a looser with no friends...cause its not true. I can't wait till i move up there with rachel. i just need to relax, fix myself a crown and coke, and stop worrying so damn much. I need to tell myself that she is ok, she loves me and wouldn't do anything to hurt me, and that my good friend cory will ensure that she is ok and that nothing will happen to her as far as the above stated. damn. Everything will be ok as long as she is fine. I'm sopposed to go hang out with dan anyways, and tonight will probably be the first time i have ever drank without rachel being there with me. that is, at least, within the two years i have known her. I just need to stop worrying because it turns into fights about why i get upset about things that she doesnt get upset about. i don't want things to be like this. So rachel if your reading this, please don't be mad at me. Im sorry, i just got caught up in thoughts of me having no friends, and now that i know how cory feels and that dan's down here and always willing to hang out, it will be alot easier to relax and have my own fun and to let you have yours without getting upset or angry. I love you soo much, and just want you to be happy.