(no subject)
I have made alot of mistakes. who hasnt? but mine have hurt other people, not just myself.
things are so hard right now. i really cant figure out how to deal with anything right now. im really quick to accuse and my emotions are going crazy right now. i really do feel like i have no one left to talk to. im starting to think i never really did.
im so sorry ben. i feel like nothing will ever really be over with us because i love you so much. but it is. i dont knwo what to do anymore. i dont want to be without you but im leaving and you have made it clear that u dont want to be with me before i leave b/c it will be too hard. but being with out you right now is hard for me. im not good at making decisions and neither are you. so i guess we are stuck where we are. im so sorry im leaving. if i could stay you know i would. in a heart beat. but i can't and i guess this is how it is. i want you to be happy. thats all i want. this is really hard for me because i wont be able to move on as easily as you will. but i can try even tho the last thing i want to do is get over you. but we chose this i guess. i love you so so much. please dont forget that.
I've been here before a few times
And I'm quite aware we're dying
And your hands they shake with goodbyes
And I'll take you back if you'd have me
So here I am, I'm trying.
So here I am, are you ready?
Come on let me hold, you touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you all night
Always
And I'll miss your laugh your smile
I'll admit I'm wrong if you'd tell me
I'm so sick of fights, I hate them
Lets start this again for real
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you all night
Always
Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you all night
Always
I've been here before a few times
And I'm quite aware we're dying
okay done with the sadness fer now---
last night was awesome. caitlin and sissy were here. omg it was so fun. we tried on all my moms old dresses. some of them were pretttttyy bad. but some of them were pretty. My mom is so tiny, im tiny and i could barely fit into someof them and still be able to breathe. it was crazyyy. sissy left at like 10:30 then me and caitlin made spaghetti. hahha. oh and i spit my water all over caitlin it was soo funny.
i just have to sya that caitlin and sissy are the greatest people ever. i love you guys. you are my best friends.
♥
things are so hard right now. i really cant figure out how to deal with anything right now. im really quick to accuse and my emotions are going crazy right now. i really do feel like i have no one left to talk to. im starting to think i never really did.
im so sorry ben. i feel like nothing will ever really be over with us because i love you so much. but it is. i dont knwo what to do anymore. i dont want to be without you but im leaving and you have made it clear that u dont want to be with me before i leave b/c it will be too hard. but being with out you right now is hard for me. im not good at making decisions and neither are you. so i guess we are stuck where we are. im so sorry im leaving. if i could stay you know i would. in a heart beat. but i can't and i guess this is how it is. i want you to be happy. thats all i want. this is really hard for me because i wont be able to move on as easily as you will. but i can try even tho the last thing i want to do is get over you. but we chose this i guess. i love you so so much. please dont forget that.
I've been here before a few times
And I'm quite aware we're dying
And your hands they shake with goodbyes
And I'll take you back if you'd have me
So here I am, I'm trying.
So here I am, are you ready?
Come on let me hold, you touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you all night
Always
And I'll miss your laugh your smile
I'll admit I'm wrong if you'd tell me
I'm so sick of fights, I hate them
Lets start this again for real
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
So here I am I'm trying
So here I am are you ready
Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you all night
Always
Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you all night
Always
I've been here before a few times
And I'm quite aware we're dying
okay done with the sadness fer now---
last night was awesome. caitlin and sissy were here. omg it was so fun. we tried on all my moms old dresses. some of them were pretttttyy bad. but some of them were pretty. My mom is so tiny, im tiny and i could barely fit into someof them and still be able to breathe. it was crazyyy. sissy left at like 10:30 then me and caitlin made spaghetti. hahha. oh and i spit my water all over caitlin it was soo funny.
i just have to sya that caitlin and sissy are the greatest people ever. i love you guys. you are my best friends.
♥