(no subject)
I call you up on the phone, ready to cry. The only thing holding me back is my hopes that you weren't as selfish as I thought. You are. You know, I really thought our friendship meant more than this. What sucks is that I'm on the low end of this now. It seems like you wouldn't care if I died tomorrow and it really hurts. So I end up crying on the phone, hearing what I expected but certainly did not want to hear. You apologize and say you'll try. A week has gone by and nothing. Nothing at all. Honestly I don't know why this is happening. Why you dropped me out of your life immediately. What's going on inside your head? I don't understand you anymore. You're not who I thought you were. Yet, you're so much more than I remember. It seems this time apart has made me realize how much I cherish being with you, even if it's only as friends. I miss your presence in my life. I miss my best friend. Come back. This is going to be so hard to get over. No, I don't like him anymore, I promise. But it breaks my heart to see him drop me and not give a shit after seeing him day after day for two years straight. It seems like the closest person to me has betrayed me and it's the worst feeling in the world. Sad thing is, is that I cry every time I think about this still. And I always will.