And i feel so much depends on the weather
This new chapter begins with the ending of another but without me trying to explain too much, i'll let you all see a post i had put on someone's journal almost 2 months ago now. It'll help set a little perspective.
Well apparently you thought a few months ago I really cared to read your live journal when i made it VERY obvious (by taking you off my friends list and ignoring your phone calls for months) that I dont want to talk to you or even hear from you. You talk about all this of me disrespecting you yet you never once mention how you disrepected me. That's fair. this is your journal and i do realize that this was a few months ago. It just seems so ironic that a few weeks ago I finally let you back into my life after you had been making new screen names just to talk to me. If i caused you so much pain and anguish...why are you running back to me again and telling me that i was the most understanding person in your life..that you still have feelings for me. that you want to see me even though it would be BEHIND isaiah's back? Why did you tell me that you were sad to hear that i truely do love someone else? This post of yours was a total waste of time. It was obvious that you had to post it to make yourself seem better or feel better about yourself for whatever reason you might have to. Not my deal. You thought that i was being fake when i was trying hard as fuck a few months ago to do anything to make myself happy. be it just acting like an idiot or talking with people and girls. I was sad and was trying to improve my life. i felt like maybe i SHOULD try to do these things ive usually looked down on. yeah it was sort of fun but that's still not the person that i am. I was a lot happier after i didnt have to think about you and all the time and investment i tossed at you. You can make me sound like a monster but some people really can see through this crap front you always choose to put up. I'm sorry if you think i insulted you, you still really never can bring up an example of how i did. You did fail to mention that you called me while you were having sex with james or blowing him..whatever you were doing. That's why i left that pleasant little remark on your myspace thing. Yes i flipped out over that. you would too. I have no reason to apologize for calling you a tramp. It's a lot more tame than what i'd really have liked to call you. You also failed to mention that all i really wanted out of you for so long was a solid answer. proof of that is when i did finally drag that answer out of you I completely ,without arguement or further drama, left and never called you, tried to im you or email you. Nothing. Everything was finally settled. If that doesnt speak enough for my change that you claim is on cloud 9..i dont know what could. All i wanted to know was that you didnt love me anymore. For months you couldnt give me that simple answer. I think you're really the one who has to go through a change. you say youre different yet you act the same, you carry the same shitty sarcastic attitude and think that other people's emotions are fake or unrealistic. such as when you laughed at me when i told you i love molly for example. Maybe that hurts you or something but that's also not my problem to deal with. If you had changed and found out that you want to care for people..you wouldnt have come back to me. You should have been smart enough to realize that YOU ARE MY negative influence. Thats why i didnt want to talk to you anymore, thats why I dont want to talk to you ever again now. You blew your last chance to even be an aquaintence. You repeatedly insulted me after you realized i wasnt going to give you your way. You are and will always be a brat. You can fill your mind with visions of grandeur of a better future but you will never have it until you are finally sincere about what you say and realize the world doesnt revolve around you. You never had the courage or 'balls'(heh as you call it) to give me an apropriate conclusion. So i'll take the initiative to say that this is my conclusion to you. I hope you get what you deserve..weither it be bad or good. Don't email me. dont call me. dont even bother replying to this post because im never going to look at this deplorable shit that you love to post on here again. Oh yeah i didnt bother to defend myself on some of the crap you had posted because it just made me laugh more than angry heh
glad this is over,
adam
As you might have guessed, this was a post to Lina. She had written a ginormous post back in june or july basically about how I am the cause of all of the problems in her life. Then she continued to say things like I was creating an illusional life or something (only her and god knows what the hell shes talking about there) but anyways it had really kind of pissed me off even though i read it a few months after she had posted it. The weeks before i posted this, lina had been changing and making new screen names just to try and talk to me because I had gotten really tired of her insults and whiney comments all the time. Just made me feel like she was trying to boost herself up by trying to lower me. Alas, I eventually gave in and she was talking to me about how she misses me and would love to come visit me and hold me and how isaiah couldnt know about it. How i was the only person in her life that understood her and yeah you get the picture. And get this she said she really did still love me, she was lying before when she said she didnt. There was a time in my life where i would have welcomed such words but the whole time I was just thinking "hmmm this sounds really familiar". She used to do things like this to me all the time in the years after we broke up where she'd run back to me for comfort or whatever else when her current man or men arent giving her the attention that she needs. I loved her and in a way i still do love her but not in the romantic sense or even in the friend sense. It's more of just an acknowledgement that we have a long history together and i felt like we DID understand each other before. Everything we built up and all the promises and love we shared is completely over now. I havent contacted her at all since and im pretty sure she erased my post because Isaiah would probably flip out. I kind of feel sorry for him. He's in for a rough time if she was already trying to come back to me for comfort. I don't hate her though and I dont want anyone to hate her for me. Things happen for a reason and I'm grateful, lucky and blessed to have Molly in my life now. I'll continue off of there when i come back from lab..
Well apparently you thought a few months ago I really cared to read your live journal when i made it VERY obvious (by taking you off my friends list and ignoring your phone calls for months) that I dont want to talk to you or even hear from you. You talk about all this of me disrespecting you yet you never once mention how you disrepected me. That's fair. this is your journal and i do realize that this was a few months ago. It just seems so ironic that a few weeks ago I finally let you back into my life after you had been making new screen names just to talk to me. If i caused you so much pain and anguish...why are you running back to me again and telling me that i was the most understanding person in your life..that you still have feelings for me. that you want to see me even though it would be BEHIND isaiah's back? Why did you tell me that you were sad to hear that i truely do love someone else? This post of yours was a total waste of time. It was obvious that you had to post it to make yourself seem better or feel better about yourself for whatever reason you might have to. Not my deal. You thought that i was being fake when i was trying hard as fuck a few months ago to do anything to make myself happy. be it just acting like an idiot or talking with people and girls. I was sad and was trying to improve my life. i felt like maybe i SHOULD try to do these things ive usually looked down on. yeah it was sort of fun but that's still not the person that i am. I was a lot happier after i didnt have to think about you and all the time and investment i tossed at you. You can make me sound like a monster but some people really can see through this crap front you always choose to put up. I'm sorry if you think i insulted you, you still really never can bring up an example of how i did. You did fail to mention that you called me while you were having sex with james or blowing him..whatever you were doing. That's why i left that pleasant little remark on your myspace thing. Yes i flipped out over that. you would too. I have no reason to apologize for calling you a tramp. It's a lot more tame than what i'd really have liked to call you. You also failed to mention that all i really wanted out of you for so long was a solid answer. proof of that is when i did finally drag that answer out of you I completely ,without arguement or further drama, left and never called you, tried to im you or email you. Nothing. Everything was finally settled. If that doesnt speak enough for my change that you claim is on cloud 9..i dont know what could. All i wanted to know was that you didnt love me anymore. For months you couldnt give me that simple answer. I think you're really the one who has to go through a change. you say youre different yet you act the same, you carry the same shitty sarcastic attitude and think that other people's emotions are fake or unrealistic. such as when you laughed at me when i told you i love molly for example. Maybe that hurts you or something but that's also not my problem to deal with. If you had changed and found out that you want to care for people..you wouldnt have come back to me. You should have been smart enough to realize that YOU ARE MY negative influence. Thats why i didnt want to talk to you anymore, thats why I dont want to talk to you ever again now. You blew your last chance to even be an aquaintence. You repeatedly insulted me after you realized i wasnt going to give you your way. You are and will always be a brat. You can fill your mind with visions of grandeur of a better future but you will never have it until you are finally sincere about what you say and realize the world doesnt revolve around you. You never had the courage or 'balls'(heh as you call it) to give me an apropriate conclusion. So i'll take the initiative to say that this is my conclusion to you. I hope you get what you deserve..weither it be bad or good. Don't email me. dont call me. dont even bother replying to this post because im never going to look at this deplorable shit that you love to post on here again. Oh yeah i didnt bother to defend myself on some of the crap you had posted because it just made me laugh more than angry heh
glad this is over,
adam
As you might have guessed, this was a post to Lina. She had written a ginormous post back in june or july basically about how I am the cause of all of the problems in her life. Then she continued to say things like I was creating an illusional life or something (only her and god knows what the hell shes talking about there) but anyways it had really kind of pissed me off even though i read it a few months after she had posted it. The weeks before i posted this, lina had been changing and making new screen names just to try and talk to me because I had gotten really tired of her insults and whiney comments all the time. Just made me feel like she was trying to boost herself up by trying to lower me. Alas, I eventually gave in and she was talking to me about how she misses me and would love to come visit me and hold me and how isaiah couldnt know about it. How i was the only person in her life that understood her and yeah you get the picture. And get this she said she really did still love me, she was lying before when she said she didnt. There was a time in my life where i would have welcomed such words but the whole time I was just thinking "hmmm this sounds really familiar". She used to do things like this to me all the time in the years after we broke up where she'd run back to me for comfort or whatever else when her current man or men arent giving her the attention that she needs. I loved her and in a way i still do love her but not in the romantic sense or even in the friend sense. It's more of just an acknowledgement that we have a long history together and i felt like we DID understand each other before. Everything we built up and all the promises and love we shared is completely over now. I havent contacted her at all since and im pretty sure she erased my post because Isaiah would probably flip out. I kind of feel sorry for him. He's in for a rough time if she was already trying to come back to me for comfort. I don't hate her though and I dont want anyone to hate her for me. Things happen for a reason and I'm grateful, lucky and blessed to have Molly in my life now. I'll continue off of there when i come back from lab..