genius
funny stuff from today's Jewish News:
"Things You Didn't Learn In Hebrew School"
--Spring ahead, fall back, winter in Boca
--No meal is complete without leftovers.
--According to Jewish dietary law, pork and shellfish may be eaten only in Chinese restaurants.
--A schmata is a dress that your husband's ex is wearing.
--Anything worth saying is worth repeating a thousand times.
--Never take a front row seat at a bris.
--Next year in Jerusalem. The year after that, how about a nice cruise?
--Never leave a restaurant empty handed.
--WASPs leave and never say good bye; Jews say good bye and never leave.
--Always whisper the names of diseases.
--If it tastes good, it's probably not kosher.
--Without Jewish mothers, who would need therapy?
--If you have to ask the price, you can't afford it. But if you can afford it, make sure to tell everybody what you paid.
and i'd also like to share an extremely intellectual and deep poem by my poet for the english project, allen ginsberg:
"Here We Go 'Round the Mulberry Bush"
I got old & shit in my pants
shit in my pants
shit in my pants
I got old & shit in my pants
shit in my pants again
We get old and shit in our pants
shit in our pants
shit in our pants
We get old and shit in our pants
shit in our pants again
You'll be lucky if you get old
& shit in your pants
& shit in your pants
You'll be lucky if you get old
& shit in your pants again
"Things You Didn't Learn In Hebrew School"
--Spring ahead, fall back, winter in Boca
--No meal is complete without leftovers.
--According to Jewish dietary law, pork and shellfish may be eaten only in Chinese restaurants.
--A schmata is a dress that your husband's ex is wearing.
--Anything worth saying is worth repeating a thousand times.
--Never take a front row seat at a bris.
--Next year in Jerusalem. The year after that, how about a nice cruise?
--Never leave a restaurant empty handed.
--WASPs leave and never say good bye; Jews say good bye and never leave.
--Always whisper the names of diseases.
--If it tastes good, it's probably not kosher.
--Without Jewish mothers, who would need therapy?
--If you have to ask the price, you can't afford it. But if you can afford it, make sure to tell everybody what you paid.
and i'd also like to share an extremely intellectual and deep poem by my poet for the english project, allen ginsberg:
"Here We Go 'Round the Mulberry Bush"
I got old & shit in my pants
shit in my pants
shit in my pants
I got old & shit in my pants
shit in my pants again
We get old and shit in our pants
shit in our pants
shit in our pants
We get old and shit in our pants
shit in our pants again
You'll be lucky if you get old
& shit in your pants
& shit in your pants
You'll be lucky if you get old
& shit in your pants again