(no subject)
Every day I feel lonelier and lonelier.
and more depressed every day.
I didn't care for a long time.
The last two months have just been eating me up inside.
It's not just not having a girl around.
It's not having family, not having friends like I had when I was back home.
I have awesome friends here, but it's still not the same.
They're good friends but they're still caught up in their own bullshit.
when they're bothered and I can see, I say something, and they get mad.
I miss home where shit didn't matter. We all were straight up. Of course everyone but myself and ALan were married w/ kids, but we were all honest. We all knew what was going on and when asked, no one had an attitude.
It all feels so childish to me.
Sitting at ash street all I want to do is hit people. I hate portland.
tonight I sat and talked to some gutter punk rock kid who was actually a certified paramedic. and we discussed how I"m going to be going to school to get my EMT B. He said, you will get a job with an EMT B or I. but if you get a para rating, no one will hire you in this town.
I said, I don't care. I'm leaving as soon as I get a degree.
Fuck this place. Going south. Or east. I don't know. I'm so burnt out. SO tired of everyone.
this kitten our new roommate has is the biggest highlight of my life in teh past two days.
and more depressed every day.
I didn't care for a long time.
The last two months have just been eating me up inside.
It's not just not having a girl around.
It's not having family, not having friends like I had when I was back home.
I have awesome friends here, but it's still not the same.
They're good friends but they're still caught up in their own bullshit.
when they're bothered and I can see, I say something, and they get mad.
I miss home where shit didn't matter. We all were straight up. Of course everyone but myself and ALan were married w/ kids, but we were all honest. We all knew what was going on and when asked, no one had an attitude.
It all feels so childish to me.
Sitting at ash street all I want to do is hit people. I hate portland.
tonight I sat and talked to some gutter punk rock kid who was actually a certified paramedic. and we discussed how I"m going to be going to school to get my EMT B. He said, you will get a job with an EMT B or I. but if you get a para rating, no one will hire you in this town.
I said, I don't care. I'm leaving as soon as I get a degree.
Fuck this place. Going south. Or east. I don't know. I'm so burnt out. SO tired of everyone.
this kitten our new roommate has is the biggest highlight of my life in teh past two days.