real world, real life
Okay. It's been over a month since the last entry. Since then I have filled out Godknowshowmany job applications. It's a strenuous, nerve wracking, semi-annoying process. However, I've finally scored an interview. So cross your fingers for that.
Despite the nagging job searching, things have been... going. Money has been tight as serving is not the most steady pay in the world. I had a shift Sunday night that was just... miserable and chaotic. It's nights like that which further instill my need to want to get the hell out of serving and into something else. I'm too smart to be serving. Jeff says it to me all the time, and it's not that I don't believe him when he says it, I just hate discrediting the people that do serve as their jobs, their careers sometimes, as being stupid just because that's what they chose to do with their lives (or sometimes, have no choice but to do for whatever reason).
I mean, I don't have lofty goals for my job or future career. I'm not looking to save the world, or make ridiculous amounts of money, or be the biggest, best, brightest whatever. I just want to be happy with myself. Pops always says to just make sure to make myself proud. Growing up I don't think I fully thought about what he was saying (oh rebellious youth, me) (but really chalk that up more to little encouragement and mostly criticisms from him leading to less effort to hear what he's really saying), but now I see it as ... i don't know... inspiration? I also think he tells me that because he knows I'm going to do whatever the hell I want no matter what anyone else tells me (even logic at times).
Anyway, I'm getting there. Slowly but surely.
Meanwhile, my long lost best friend from Texas came to visit me with her boyfriend yesterday. I toured them around the better parts of Knoxville, and took them up to the mountains and little through Maryville. It was really the best day. Showing off the parts of this area that I love, and just hanging out with her again was an excellent combination. She's one of those friends that we can go months without talking and then.... it's like we just saw each other yesterday. I admired the way she and her boyfriend were so solidly and openly head over heels for each other, without being cutesy or disgusting like some couples. I'm a tough critic for my best friends' significant others, but this guy passed with flying colors. I have faith in him to take care of her for me. Jeff was also a hit with them, which means a lot to me. It was just so nice to see her again. Sometimes I just felt like we had so much to stay we talked in circles and on top of ourselves. And it was wonderful. So very wonderful.
Conversely, several breakups have been happening around me. On one hand, I love that I don't have to worry about the pesky things that come with dating anymore (oh, the joys of a steady relationship!), on the other hand it sucks to see other people hurt. And frustrating. Le sigh.
And life goes on.
Despite the nagging job searching, things have been... going. Money has been tight as serving is not the most steady pay in the world. I had a shift Sunday night that was just... miserable and chaotic. It's nights like that which further instill my need to want to get the hell out of serving and into something else. I'm too smart to be serving. Jeff says it to me all the time, and it's not that I don't believe him when he says it, I just hate discrediting the people that do serve as their jobs, their careers sometimes, as being stupid just because that's what they chose to do with their lives (or sometimes, have no choice but to do for whatever reason).
I mean, I don't have lofty goals for my job or future career. I'm not looking to save the world, or make ridiculous amounts of money, or be the biggest, best, brightest whatever. I just want to be happy with myself. Pops always says to just make sure to make myself proud. Growing up I don't think I fully thought about what he was saying (oh rebellious youth, me) (but really chalk that up more to little encouragement and mostly criticisms from him leading to less effort to hear what he's really saying), but now I see it as ... i don't know... inspiration? I also think he tells me that because he knows I'm going to do whatever the hell I want no matter what anyone else tells me (even logic at times).
Anyway, I'm getting there. Slowly but surely.
Meanwhile, my long lost best friend from Texas came to visit me with her boyfriend yesterday. I toured them around the better parts of Knoxville, and took them up to the mountains and little through Maryville. It was really the best day. Showing off the parts of this area that I love, and just hanging out with her again was an excellent combination. She's one of those friends that we can go months without talking and then.... it's like we just saw each other yesterday. I admired the way she and her boyfriend were so solidly and openly head over heels for each other, without being cutesy or disgusting like some couples. I'm a tough critic for my best friends' significant others, but this guy passed with flying colors. I have faith in him to take care of her for me. Jeff was also a hit with them, which means a lot to me. It was just so nice to see her again. Sometimes I just felt like we had so much to stay we talked in circles and on top of ourselves. And it was wonderful. So very wonderful.
Conversely, several breakups have been happening around me. On one hand, I love that I don't have to worry about the pesky things that come with dating anymore (oh, the joys of a steady relationship!), on the other hand it sucks to see other people hurt. And frustrating. Le sigh.
And life goes on.