October
Things are going ok at the moment. I am working on a tangent of my phd ideas, which should prove the underlying principles. The only trouble is my first supervisor told me explicitly not to investigate it, whilst my second supervisor thinks it would be a good paper. On the one hand, it is a tangent. On the other, it would be a good contribution to knowledge. My first supervisor has been out travelling for a long time and has not had much time to see me, so naturally I have been following my second supervisors guidance. I'm not looking forward to filling in Mr First. Really, it is a battle for them to resolve, I suppose.
The problem for me is that it is helping me avoid solving my bigger phd problems. I am still stuck with what to get the robots to do. They are so infuriating. I have moments where I sit back and imagine what I could do with a fleet of 50 powerful miniature robots (sci-fi style), but most the time I am actually wading through technicalities and constraints of my chosen field. I talk to Tom about it sometimes, but it is obvious he works on a completely different domain of robotics as his ideas are quite ludicrous. I am reminded of Frodo, "It is my burden, mine alone!.
My back is causing me grief at the moment. The lower back is simply painful if I bend over or try to sit with my legs outstretched (no change there). But the other morning my mid-back (between the shoulder blades) spasmed and has left it very painful. It is almost comfortable to sit hunched, except it isn't. It is hard to explain. Lana has attempted massage, but it is actually quite painful to touch. The region gets tight often, and usually I get this worsened problem after I do something stupid. But this time I was simply relaxing under the shower. I went for xrays at the doctor a while ago - they found nothing abnormal. It has taken them 3 or 4 months to send me a letter informing me that I can attend a walk-in physio session at my local hospital (haha, retarded much?).
I got my hair cut yesterday and it did wonders for my feeling of self. It is odd how my hair grows and I don't notice, until one day I look at myself and become frustrated with feeling scruffy. Now that it has all gone, I feel neat and tidy, handsome and like people will take me seriously (even if I do look 19). I don't even realise these aspects receding, but I always feel a hundred times better once I have my hair cut. I'm looking forward to wearing hats again now that my hair wont stick out sideways everywhere.
Lana and I are getting on really well. We are both working very hard. We only see each other on occasional evenings and Sundays now. It is quite a change from the living together arrangement we had. In some ways, I think it is a really good thing for us. We learnt how to tolerate each other and realised what really annoyed us about each other. But now that we are apart, we both seem to have realised that all the annoying stuff was worth it just to see each other more often. We have occasional disagreements, or silly arguments, but I am confident they are just little frustrations or a way of venting other stresses at each other. We seem to be good at diffusing and getting over them.
My dancing is good at the moment. I was in my first ever theatre performance as an extra. We were called to stage 5 times to dance to various music. Most of it was swing, but I faked foxtrot and tango too! It was funny. The play/production was really entertaining and relaxing. I got to see it for free, but I think I should go to theatre more often. There is something totally enchanting about being fooled into the narrative of some acting. I have been to dance occasions too, like a tea-dance in bath on sunday (dancing, tea, cake - all good!), so my dancing has reached quite a comfortable level. The guy who teaches wants me to teach beginners after Christmas. I like this idea. The only bad thing is that I keep missing advanced lessons on mondays, so I have plateaued somewhat. Lana and I can manage the lindy turn and lindy circle now, which are an excellent part of it all. We need to start dancing to the music though, not just the beat.
I think my biggest problem at the moment is feeling directionless on the phd, which is the same as it has been for the past 2 years. It gets worse as time goes by. I am bored, but I like it all in principle, and all the people I see in my routine. I am thinking about planning what to do after the phd. But I am also planning a d&d campaign for whichever 4 people I can round up in bristol. That is what I am going to do tonight, make some starting characters for people new to the game to pick. I am quite new to 4th edition too, so this will be good :) Dancing *next* monday.
The problem for me is that it is helping me avoid solving my bigger phd problems. I am still stuck with what to get the robots to do. They are so infuriating. I have moments where I sit back and imagine what I could do with a fleet of 50 powerful miniature robots (sci-fi style), but most the time I am actually wading through technicalities and constraints of my chosen field. I talk to Tom about it sometimes, but it is obvious he works on a completely different domain of robotics as his ideas are quite ludicrous. I am reminded of Frodo, "It is my burden, mine alone!.
My back is causing me grief at the moment. The lower back is simply painful if I bend over or try to sit with my legs outstretched (no change there). But the other morning my mid-back (between the shoulder blades) spasmed and has left it very painful. It is almost comfortable to sit hunched, except it isn't. It is hard to explain. Lana has attempted massage, but it is actually quite painful to touch. The region gets tight often, and usually I get this worsened problem after I do something stupid. But this time I was simply relaxing under the shower. I went for xrays at the doctor a while ago - they found nothing abnormal. It has taken them 3 or 4 months to send me a letter informing me that I can attend a walk-in physio session at my local hospital (haha, retarded much?).
I got my hair cut yesterday and it did wonders for my feeling of self. It is odd how my hair grows and I don't notice, until one day I look at myself and become frustrated with feeling scruffy. Now that it has all gone, I feel neat and tidy, handsome and like people will take me seriously (even if I do look 19). I don't even realise these aspects receding, but I always feel a hundred times better once I have my hair cut. I'm looking forward to wearing hats again now that my hair wont stick out sideways everywhere.
Lana and I are getting on really well. We are both working very hard. We only see each other on occasional evenings and Sundays now. It is quite a change from the living together arrangement we had. In some ways, I think it is a really good thing for us. We learnt how to tolerate each other and realised what really annoyed us about each other. But now that we are apart, we both seem to have realised that all the annoying stuff was worth it just to see each other more often. We have occasional disagreements, or silly arguments, but I am confident they are just little frustrations or a way of venting other stresses at each other. We seem to be good at diffusing and getting over them.
My dancing is good at the moment. I was in my first ever theatre performance as an extra. We were called to stage 5 times to dance to various music. Most of it was swing, but I faked foxtrot and tango too! It was funny. The play/production was really entertaining and relaxing. I got to see it for free, but I think I should go to theatre more often. There is something totally enchanting about being fooled into the narrative of some acting. I have been to dance occasions too, like a tea-dance in bath on sunday (dancing, tea, cake - all good!), so my dancing has reached quite a comfortable level. The guy who teaches wants me to teach beginners after Christmas. I like this idea. The only bad thing is that I keep missing advanced lessons on mondays, so I have plateaued somewhat. Lana and I can manage the lindy turn and lindy circle now, which are an excellent part of it all. We need to start dancing to the music though, not just the beat.
I think my biggest problem at the moment is feeling directionless on the phd, which is the same as it has been for the past 2 years. It gets worse as time goes by. I am bored, but I like it all in principle, and all the people I see in my routine. I am thinking about planning what to do after the phd. But I am also planning a d&d campaign for whichever 4 people I can round up in bristol. That is what I am going to do tonight, make some starting characters for people new to the game to pick. I am quite new to 4th edition too, so this will be good :) Dancing *next* monday.