grandpa

[_redneckgrl125]

ok so i feel horrible like when i talk to my family nd we sound all happy i feel like i shoudlnt be happy cuz my grandpa is gone like i feel i should b sad its so strange nd im so the mixed up i dont know how to feel or anything like looking at his pictures with me nd him in it i just have a problem putting it away like i feel once i pick it up if i put it back down i feel like he's leaving me again nd i dont know who to deal with all this im really stressed with school work and bso i have to go finish school i know that i need a job but i cant put in as mnay hours as id like to and plus this bso thing is ALWAYS on my mind i dont want to do anything to screw it up plus im so stressing over boot camp i dont know anything bout military anything! im so scared im not in shape enuff or anything...im so happy i dont have a dumb b/f around that would annoy me more!:) i like the guys im talking to now..o man one of them is like omfg! anyway im def. thinking i need to get away 4rm here just go some place where i know i wont think about all this and where ill have fun...orlando! but this time ill be going to the parks so yuh!! ugh i so want to just be happy! i cant stand this when im alone its when i think about my grandpa my life school work bso friends family my health....everything just runs through my mind at once and thats what i think is hurting me most cuz i cant concentrate on one thoguht everything just comes at once then nothing...i dont know i need to get away...i think ima go to bass pro and look at guns cuz i need one so i can start practicing my aim 4 the future well this is all

nd to u if u still read my shit....um dont...i dont wnat you in my life u act immature about this whole thing im over u y cant u get over it and b a friend i guess its too hard 4 u w/e i dont need u thats y were not together

xoxo