jUst oNe oF thOse wEeks...
yeah...so the week started off pretty shitty i guess. actually i've only felt like this for the past 2 maybe 3 days, but still it sucks! i feel like i've bottled everything up inside of me and this week it all came pouring out without any warning at all. on the outside i'm completely happy, but at times i feel like everything's moving around me, but i can't keep up. i don't know; it's really hard to explain. i'm sure alot of you understand tho. i just feel like every step i take i'm falling deeper and deeper into this hole. last night was my last soccer practice every with brea blaze. i wanted so badly to cry and just let it out, but of course i didn't. i walked away like nothing was wrong, like the past 2 years that i've built these friendships and sisterhoods meant nothing to me, when in reality they've meant everything. the brea team was almost like a bridge between me and fullerton. it gave me room to move, but i always knew it would be there. maybe that's why i'm so depressed lately. whatever it is...i'm reaching out my hand to find it, because i haven't felt like this since september. softball sucks too...it's just not my thing anymore. it doesn't make me happy like it used to, but then again a lot of things don't. i always wonder what life would have been like today if i still lived in fullerton. who would be my closest friends, what parties i would go to, what people i would call if i needed someone to talk to. in times like these i tend to think too much...i think about everything and anything that comes into my head and i feel like i'm spinning and spinning with nobody to fall back on to. whatever this may be, i'm hoping it will all come to an end, because as of right now, 'it's just one of those days.'