beep beep.

[_razorblades]

so its been awhile. i havent written in my journal in almost a year it seems. lots of shit has happened. things are different, and i dont even think im the same person anymore. but being different is the way to go these days. who honestly stays the same? things have sucked. i lost more friends than i started with. im on my way to being an alcoholic. thing that sucks even worse- alcoholism runs in the family. my grandma died from it. i hope to hell i dont end up like that. but either way ill die from something of that nature.. alcoholism, or lung cancer. either or, it doesnt matter to me. ive been feeling way out of it lately. im never happy, things dont seem right, i dont seem right. im rarely in a good mood. im always crying. im depressed as fuck, but i have this anger that wont go away. it kind of saves me i guess. i dont know. im going to finish this up later. i need to go lay in my bed until its time to wake up. ♥

if i told you that one morning i woke up and realized i missed you, would it even matter at all?

i need a cigarette.